Hey there!
I really love this poem. Like the others have said, I haven't read the word "spinster" in awhile, so your poem felt very unique and new. Your rhymes don't feel forced and flow smoothly. This was very enjoyable to read. I really like it!! I don't have that much to point out since you did a wonderful job ( ) but there are a couple of things I thought were worth mentioning. These are just suggestions, so you don't have to listen to them at all!
The first thing I noticed was your punctuation. There were some places where I felt a period could be replaced with a comma or just left out entirely. Particularly in your first stanza
Yes, I am a spinster.
I do not have a spouse.
My unborn children left me.
I’m alone inside my house.
You have a period at the end of every line, which causes the reader to pause quite a bit (or at least for me). I see why you put a period since it's the end of sentences, but I feel that you could replace the first and third period with a comma so the reader doesn't have to pause so much. But this is just a suggestion, so feel free to ignore!
Like Lia5Giba said, I love the small variations you have on the "Come, and let me spin you" It's nice how you didn't repeat the exact same line so it didn't get repetitive, but you changed it just enough that it tied the stanzas together. You did a really good job!
Come, and see me spin you
This is the only line that felt a little weird. I was going to suggest to replace "see" with "watch" but then I realized you did that elsewhere. This may just be me, but saying "see me" sounds a bit strange. I can't think of something that sounds better as of now, but I thought it was worth mentioning. You don't have to change it though if you don't like; it's just a suggestion!
Overall, you did a really nice job with this piece, and I hope this helped!
Points: 29825
Reviews: 465
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