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Spinster

by Plume


Yes, I am a spinster.

I do not have a spouse.

My unborn children left me.

I’m alone inside my house.

     

Many folks will tell you

It’s a horrid role to play.

No one there beside you.

Alone throughout each day.

         

But I will tell you, child

A spinster is much more.

We prance inside our minds

And nothing is a chore.

         

Come, and see me spin you

A new hat for the fall.

Perhaps some gloves as well.

It really is your call.

        

Come, and I will spin you

A tale of saddened glee.

Full of mirth and vengeance,

A tragedy in three.

        

Come, and watch me spin you

A tapestry of light.

Where you and I sit side by side,

Immune to all the night.

         

Come, and let me spin you

Across these wooded lawns

Perhaps we’ll see a butterfly

Atop some resting fawns.

        

So now when someone tells you

A spinster isn’t nice,

Think of me and maybe

You’ll remember to think twice.


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465 Reviews

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Wed Jul 15, 2020 4:33 pm
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starlitmind wrote a review...



Hey there!
I really love this poem. Like the others have said, I haven't read the word "spinster" in awhile, so your poem felt very unique and new. Your rhymes don't feel forced and flow smoothly. This was very enjoyable to read. I really like it!! I don't have that much to point out since you did a wonderful job ( :D ) but there are a couple of things I thought were worth mentioning. These are just suggestions, so you don't have to listen to them at all!

The first thing I noticed was your punctuation. There were some places where I felt a period could be replaced with a comma or just left out entirely. Particularly in your first stanza

Yes, I am a spinster.

I do not have a spouse.

My unborn children left me.

I’m alone inside my house.


You have a period at the end of every line, which causes the reader to pause quite a bit (or at least for me). I see why you put a period since it's the end of sentences, but I feel that you could replace the first and third period with a comma so the reader doesn't have to pause so much. But this is just a suggestion, so feel free to ignore!

Like Lia5Giba said, I love the small variations you have on the "Come, and let me spin you" It's nice how you didn't repeat the exact same line so it didn't get repetitive, but you changed it just enough that it tied the stanzas together. You did a really good job!

Come, and see me spin you


This is the only line that felt a little weird. I was going to suggest to replace "see" with "watch" but then I realized you did that elsewhere. This may just be me, but saying "see me" sounds a bit strange. I can't think of something that sounds better as of now, but I thought it was worth mentioning. You don't have to change it though if you don't like; it's just a suggestion!

Overall, you did a really nice job with this piece, and I hope this helped! :D




Plume says...


Yeah, I was trying to find other words and I couldn't, so "see" had to do! It sounds awkward to me, too, don't worry. Thank you for your suggestions!



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Tue Jul 14, 2020 8:31 pm
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JoyDark says...



I really do like this piece. The rhyming is well done and the simplicity of the language speaks to me in a clear, ringing, and innocent tone. I have never met this woman, yet somehow through your words I already love her. I am sure she is the grandmother figure in many young children's lives, and maybe some older ones as well.

The last four or five stanzas, which each begin with "Come, let me spin you" in some variation, is something that ties the piece together creatively, using a metaphor ever relevant to a spinster to build this character. I love that. I love this entire poem.




Plume says...


Ohhh thank you so much you're too kind. I'm blushing, honestly :D



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Tue Jul 14, 2020 12:42 pm
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MissGangamash wrote a review...



I'm not great with poetry so I can't really comment on structure and stuff. But I really enjoyed this! As a single person who loves being single, it spoke to me. I know its not exactly the same situation but I do think there is a societal view that if you're single, you're lonely and sad. Which isn't always the case!

I liked the repetition of 'Come, and let me spin you' and I think it's clever that you changed the meaning of 'spin' from spinning clothes to literally spinning a child.

Also, 'my unborn children left me' is a very strong, poetic image for miscarriages.

Well done :D




Plume says...


Thank you for your feedback!



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Sun Jul 12, 2020 8:25 pm
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Mageheart wrote a review...



Hello! I saw your poem lurking in the Green Room, so I thought I'd help you by getting it.

First things first: I really love your poem. It combines my love of less-used, older ones with a folk-tale style of poetic storytelling. Like @Draculus down below, spinster is a word I haven't seen in awhile - most of the more modern pieces I read don't use it. I didn't even fully remember what a spinster was until I read the first stanza of your poem.

That being said, you did a wonderful job of painting a picture of a classic spinster with your poem! Even if I hadn't ever encountered the word before, I would leave this poem knowing who spinsters are, what the usual stereotypes surrounding spinsters are, and a fun spin pun intended on what being a spinster involves.

What I especially love about your take on spinsters can be summed up with these two stanzas:

But I will tell you, child
A spinster is much more.
We prance inside our minds
And nothing is a chore.

Come, and see me spin you
A new hat for the fall.
Perhaps some gloves as well.
It really is your call.


The first stanza quoted shows how spinsters revel in their alone time - they theoretically could have a spouse, after all, but there's always a chance that they choose to remain alone because they genuinely enjoy spending time by themself.

The second stanza elaborates on the twist of the first, showing that an older woman who may have no immediate family can still find a sense of family in their community - the stanza brought to mind images of my grandma, who loves to sew things for her husband, children, and grandchildren.

Analysis aside, I'm also a really big fan of your rhymes. The word choice and formatting of the stanzas gives the poem an upbeat, quick feel to it. The way your poem can be read feels like it's paying homage to both the more "ancient" association with the word spinster, as well as the kinder view you present the reader with.

I hope this ends up in the literary spotlight soon - it certainly deserves to be there!




Plume says...


Thank you for your review! I appreciate it, really.



Mageheart says...


You're welcome! :)



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Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:35 pm
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Draculus wrote a review...



The title hooked my attention as I saw it, because I must admit I haven't met the word Spinster in a very long while. But I also must admit that I love it when a poet uses old-fashioned words in their poetry, it somehow makes my soul happy, and I don't know why. Here I saw a great example of poetry that made me happy for a couple of reasons. That is to say, the story of the character presented in the poetry is very interesting: an unmarried woman who says that it's not really that bad to be unmarried, and there are many reasons why. I appreciate it as a person who tends not to stick to the old-fashioned beliefs and never insists on someone else following "the rules". But the author here has shown us almost the same point of view, but in a more romantic, sentimental way, emphasizing the importance of loving the feelings free from any strict bounds. Being single also means seeing every day of your life as a day of falling in love for the first time, which is beautiful. Aside from all that, I liked the rhyme and apprecciated the choice of words that suit the poetry very well. The beauty of the nature described made me smile, too, and the ending is wonderful, as to me. great job, author, great job!
Keep on writing, please)
Sincerely yours,
Drak.




Plume says...


Thank you so much for your kind words!




To succeed, you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.
— Tony Dorsett