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The Narcissist's Dilemma (A Series of Limericks)

by Plume


There was a young woman from Spain
It was true she was pretty and vain
To be realistic
She was narcissistic
From her toes to her flowing brown mane

She loved to go walk in the heat
When she passed a young man on the street
He was suddenly taken
His heart was awakened
He felt his whole life was complete

He approached her with caution and charm
To show her he meant her no harm
To his dismay
She looked away
Dismissed, with a wave of her arm

He hadn’t yet given up hope
For an answer he wouldn’t take “nope”
He tried to woo her
He painted and drew her
With neglect he soon learned to cope

For she did not glance from her mirror
She thought she could not be clearer
Her one true love
Or her lack thereof
Was herself, and nobody nearer

He was blinded by his own affection
For her persona and her complexion
Yet he did not give in
He was so driven
He knew that they had a connection

He bought her the nicest of things
Perfumes, dresses, and rings
She remained cool
She thought him a fool
She was a queen who did not need a king

Then one day she sat by his side
She thought of herself and her pride
It put in perspective
Her actions rejective
She considered not being so snide

All he had done was be kind
And handsome, and smart, and refined
She thought her eyes
Had no room for guys
For herself they always did find

She hugged him close and then she said
“My dear, for me you have bled.
So much sacrificed,
And I wasn’t that nice!
So tomorrow we both shall be wed.”

The two learned significant truths
She should not live without ruth
He found that beauty
Was much more than booty
And they loved in the bliss of their youth


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Fri May 14, 2021 4:23 pm
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Spearmint says...



WAIT how does this only have two likes?? I'd have thought it'd have been in the Literary Spotlight for sure!! I super enjoyed reading this poem, especially the first stanza-- it just rhymes so well and I keep on re-reading it because the rhythm is so nice XDD This is great! ^^




Plume says...


Awww thanks spearmint, you're so kind!! This comment made my day.



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Sun Jan 31, 2021 1:18 pm
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Euphory wrote a review...



Hello, Euphoria here! Happy review day!

This was a delight to read! I was quite impressed by how you had kept up with the rhyme scheme so well throughout the poem, every word flowed one after another perfectly! The story itself is one I enjoyed reading too- although I was worried this relationship between them would become toxic, I'm glad it was ended with a happy ending instead!- with character development for both parties.

I quite like the word choice in this poem as well- not quite formal but not totally informal as well, and the gestures and phrases were expressive- "awakened" "approached her with caution and charm" "dismissed, with a wave of her arm"

Some suggestions would be:

She hugged him close and then she said
“My dear, for me you have bled
So much sacrificed
I wasn’t even nice!
So tomorrow we both shall be wed.”

This stanza didn't flow as well as the others did, so it'd be nice if you could make some changes to it.

There was a young woman from Spain
It was true she was pretty and vain

I think this was a weak opening line- I would suggest opening with a line that alludes to her beauty more expressively- or any line that would just provide the reader with a reason they should keep reading.

Anyway, that was my review! Thanks for sharing and keep growing <3




Plume says...


Thanks for your review!!



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Sun Apr 26, 2020 9:18 pm
starlitmind wrote a review...



Hey!
I haven't read a limerick in a really long time. I thought you did a really nice job! The story was funny, and it kept me intrigued. I really enjoyed reading it! ^^
My favourite lines had to be "For she did not glance from her mirror/ She thought she could not be clearer/ Her one true love/ Or her lack thereof/ Was herself, and nobody nearer" I thought it was clever and funny.
I too thought it didn't flow that well in some places, but it's mentioned in another review, so I won't repeat.
I don't have anything else to say about it other than I really enjoyed it! Keep writing :)




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Thu Apr 09, 2020 10:03 pm
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Hijinks wrote a review...



Hello silverquill12!

I love this poem. It's entertaining, the rhyming is consistent and natural, the flow is good, and there's even a message that can be learned from it.

Having said that, below are some grammar and wording nitpicks. After the nitpicks I'll give you my general thoughts.

She loved to go walk in the heat

When she passed a young man on the street
Personally, I would use a word like "once" instead of "when", because I think it conveys what you mean better. But this is just an opinion.

He was suddenly taken

His heart was awakened

He felt his whole life was complete


He hadn’t yet given up hope

For an answer he wouldn’t take “nope”
This line is a bit awkward, if possible I would try and find a way to reword it, however I understand sometimes you need to use an odd sentence structure to get things to rhyme.

He tried to woo her

He painted and drew her

With disregardadd comma he soon learned to cope



He was blinded by his own affection

For her personality and complexion

Yet he didn’t give in

He was so driven
"driven" and "give in" are not perfect rhymes; if possible, I would replace it with another word.

He knew that they had a connection


He bought her the nicest of things

Perfumes, dresses, and rings

She remained cool

She thought him a tool
This is not a critique, just a suggestion in case you hadn't thought of it; this line could also be, "she thought him a fool"

She was a queen who did not need a king


All he had done was be kind

And handsome, and smart, and refined
To make this line flow better, consider changing to "Handsome, smart, and refined"

She thought her eyes

Had no room for guys

For her reflection they always did find



So tomorrow we both shall be wed.”
Whoah! That's quite abrupt :)


General Thoughts
1. This poem is very humourous, and the rhyming helps convey the lighthearted mood nicely. More or less all of your rhymes were natural, so good job! That's very hard to achieve.

2. Just a couple of places where you could make it flow a bit better, but the majority of your poem flows nicely and is easy to say aloud.

3. Your plot is well thought out (even if the whole marriage thing is a little abrupt), and your message is conveyed clearly.

4. The only thing you could consider adding is more imagery, however that may just not be the style you're going for in this poem.

All in all, a really neat poem that is very well written and humorous! Good job!
I hope you found this review was helpful!

Keep writing!

Whatchamcallit




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Thu Apr 09, 2020 8:20 pm
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JesseWrites wrote a review...



I started to think this was about what your disclaimer told about, but than I realized. Limericks are one of my favorite poetry types, so I have standards. This piece was to the point and still entertaining.

They are separated in a alright fashion. The organization of the first few could have been improved.

~S.M.Locke~





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