z
  • Home

Young Writers Society



Taco Sonnet

by Plume


The crunch of shells is such a keen delight;

Though it’s rivaled by leaves of lettuce green;

Into its gooey depths I long to bite;

Which houses many colors of the bean.

-

Bless me with tortillas made of bright corn

And fill this empty canvas up with guac

Though others look upon with sneers and scorn

They will soon be the only ones to mock

-

No other meal could be just right to please

The taco, in its might and in its storm

Complete with sour cream and blends of cheese

It has become the new meal of my norm

-

The downside is my stomach fills with gas

I wrote this while waiting for it to pass


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
45 Reviews

Points: 47
Reviews: 45

Donate
Fri May 08, 2020 1:06 am
View Likes
Queenie wrote a review...



Hi Silverquill12!
I truly love this poem! It is so fun and lighthearted, and I love how you just wrote a love poem about food. You did a great job with the rhyme scheme because the words you used really fit the poem well. I also think that you described tacos really well and why you love eating them so much that after reading it, all I wanted to do was each a taco myself. From reading this poem, I'm guessing that tacos are your favorite food, but if I'm wrong, then you should write another of these poems on that type of food. I don't have any critiques because I think you did a really nice job writing it and I don't see any mistakes. So anyway, great job on this piece, it is such a cute poem. I wish you the best of luck on your future works, and I hope to read more of your pieces soon.




Plume says...


Thanks so much for your review. Tacos aren't my favorite food, but I do love them a lot. This was actually a poem I wrote to go in another story I'm working on. I'm glad you like it!



User avatar
81 Reviews

Points: 5134
Reviews: 81

Donate
Thu May 07, 2020 12:35 pm
View Likes
kattee wrote a review...



Hello there!

Your poem is so unique and it's quite interesting. I don't see a lot of poems dedicated to food so this was truly a breath of fresh air. One of my concerns is the consistency of the poem's theme.

The first stanza and the last two lines were all flippant so the lines


Though others look upon with sneers and scorn

They will soon be the only ones to mock


seemed really out of place. It came out as an attack and the focus or the purpose of your poem averted towards proving that tacos are delicious instead of how you first approached it as something you genuinely love and admire. I suggest that you simply focus on why you love tacos.

Second, the line

The taco, in its might and in its storm


Again, this contradicted the theme and the overall message. A "storm" gave these tacos some bad, gloomy vibe. Moreover, it doesn't really go with the rest of the lines in that stanza. The "sour cream" and "cheese" doesn't have this formidable (might and storm) feel to it.

That's about it. I would just like to add that your last two lines were cute. This may be the humorous twist in your poem and it made me chuckle a bit. Honestly, I'm craving tacos because of this poem (ugh, help). Anyway, keep writing!

Best regards,

Kattee




Plume says...


Thanks so much for your review!




The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
— Mark Twain