Burning down, burning down
lost now what once was found.
Tears to prove that I feel,
tears to define what is real.
I clung to a light
in the middle of the night.
Now a dark hole,
my shattered soul.
Now that my dear light is forever gone
I'm blind to the hope of dawn.
Finally the truth I see
Hope always lead falsley.
Maybe my forever wont be spent alone,
until then this bed of darkness, I make my home.
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139,337 Literary Works • 672,537 Reviews
I agree with StoryWeaver. This poem seemed a bit to angst ridden for me. It also seemed a but vague. It evoked some weird emotions and overall was somewhat confusing. This poem I did not fully like, but there were qualities which makes me believe that you have potential as writer. Most writers start out with angst ridden poems because it is all they really know, but keep writing and your style will evolve.
Well, this poem really isn't my style just because I feel like it has the typical teenage-issue of verging on angsty or emo, but you know this was considerably alright still. There were just certain lines such as
It just sounds too angsty for my taste. Still, I felt like there was artistry buried in it also, which is why, unlike usual, I didn't completely despise/ignore it. There were some redeeming qualities, and I have to actually say that while I'm not a fan of some of the overworked emotions I did like something about this.
Keep writing,
~*StoryWeaver