Hello Panda!
Wow, you've got a nice concept on your hands here! I have a soft spot for dark poetry and rhyming, so this piece immediately grabbed my attention. I especially love the rawness.
Now, this wouldn't be much of a review without critical advice, so on we go! There are 2 extensive reviews already, so I'm just gonna state my opinion and hope it's not a repeat. :S Basically, what it comes down to, is that you have a great idea with a lot of potential. With the right description, it could even be a masterpiece. Now I'm not saying your poem isn't good, because it is. However, if you embellished it more it could be GREAT.
I would suggest more description and a more extensive metaphor to bring the poem to life. For example...what does the demon look like? Is it aging and wrinkled from lack of sunlight? Is is covered in scabs from past hurts you've endured? Details like this will add a creepier tone to the piece.
Hope this helps and good luck!
Sarah
Points: 2619
Reviews: 68
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