Hi there, MeherazulAzim16! Scar here to review your lyrics today. First off, I've noticed a lack of labels here. How do I know which part is a chorus and a refrain, etc? XD But other than that, let's see..... *clicks link so she can listen*
I must say, I like the title. XD And listening to you, I feel like this could be sung a little faster? But maybe that's just me. Anyway. Really liking the flow here, and I must say I love the structure you're using and the way it's been sung.
Just gonna list a few things I like;
And now you’re back,
Now you’re back in another dress,
I agree with Jaybird here. I'm really digging this vibe here.
So, one step, two steps,
You’re closing in/and I’m burning out,
Why are you getting so petty,
So far away,
I think you’re not coming back.
I think this part is probably my favourite bit, to be honest.
You were far away,
Gaining inch by inch,
I didn’t need you to come back,
You needed you to go away.
Just another airbrushed melancholy heartbreak song,
Just another melancholy heartbreak song
about how you ex was a b-i-itch.
I like how you don't go for the usual "come back" stuff in heartbreak songs and instead go for the "go away" stuff. It's great, and it's different. I like it.
Oh I was at that party,
There’s no harm in saying ‘Hi,’
But she’s gone now,
But she’s gone now.
Why’d you show up at the party?
Not like we have any mutual friends in this room?
Why are you so far away?
Just when I thought I’d say hi?
This gives me a kind of doubting oneself, wanting to speak to them and then, like, maybe self-sabotaging sort of feel? Like, the conflicting emotions comes through so well here. Great job!
Also, strong ending line here;
Just another melancholy heartbreak song comes tuning in.
Overall, this was pretty good and I really like it. I still think it could be sung a bit faster! And it might be a good idea, just for the readers, to add in a little "Verse 1" and "Verse 2" or "Chorus", etc, just so we can follow it a bit easier because reading this, it's a little hard to tell where to break and stuff. Makes it easier for others to try their hand at singing it, too!
Thanks for a lovely little song! Keep it up and never stop writing!