dropping this link in case u wanna listen to how it sounds 
https://youtu.be/km7cZi-b7r4?si=u97Ltc0gKDYtsAzo
i choose the worst nights to have a breakdown
i have a flight to catch in four hours
the meds i took three hours ago will weigh me down when i take off
switching sides in my bed, like i switch in my mind
between you and i, to figure out who hurt who and why
hell if i know why
promised you wont let me give in to my genes
jokes on you
you're not here anymore
oh you tried to be nice
candle lights in my sky
i hope you come outside your house
if just to see me fly
wave at me like tsunami clouds
if just to bring me down
promised you wont let me give in to my genes
jokes on you
you're not here anymore
oh you tried to be nice
candle lights in my sky
dropping this link in case u wanna listen to how it sounds
https://youtu.be/km7cZi-b7r4?si=u97Ltc0gKDYtsAzo
Hi! Kay is here with a short review
I really enjoyed your poem, and I'm also a total fan of the fact that it's actually a song. I'm glad that I noticed your link on YouTube, otherwise I would probably perceive this work a little differently.
You managed very well to manage sometimes perhaps the most difficult aspect of poetry; this poem/song does not express everything completely directly, but still it is clear to the reader/listener what this work is more or less about. I like the chorus and I especially like the beginning as well as the end. Keep up the good work!
Hey this is Coffee, here to support your poem with a nice review!
First of all, I LOVE how you wrote it about a song, and the song is great too!
I particularly love the phrase
“between you and i, to figure out who hurt who and why”
“ oh you tried to be nice candle lights in my sky”
“ promised you wont let me give in to my genes
jokes on you
you're not here anymore”
Nice work done by the author.
"switching sides in my bed, like i switch in my mind
between you and i, to figure out who hurt who and why
hell if i know why"
The author has expressed his/her thoughts and feelings in such a great way.
We all do mistakes, we may defend ourselves when we are fighting for ourselves and in all the rage we that we carry during the fight we take wrong decisions.
But we all wonder after the fight ends and after we take the wrong decisions,
'Were really right or was the other person right?'
and after you realize that you were wrong,
'Why I fight even when I was wrong?'
and then you think,
'I should say sorry to him/her...but now its too late...maybe...I hope he/she is not so angry with me'
and that is how every relationship ends.
Both of them think 'I must have done something wrong that is why he/she is angry with me and now its too late to say something', but what they don't understand is that it is never late.
This song is awesome and hope there is a part two also.
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
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