Lies

Hello there Hemayed! Dogs here with your review today. Well my my I do enjoy reading your poetry, this one certain doesn't disappoint. I this this is one of my favorites of your poetry because it's clean, to the point, and conveys the point rather well to the reader. Although (I can't remember if I made this note on other pieces of poetry from you) you really need to add grammar in here. Such as periods and commas specifically. Of course, grammar is entirely up to the reader, but I think in this case it's completely necessary. The reader is never quite sure where your sentences end and it just gets a little difficult to read. In my opinion, the lack of grammar isn't really adding anything to your poem, so try writing the second stanza as:

"Lying won't do any good
but lengthen one's trial,
and worsen one's mood.
It is but a natural penalty"

I only added in a comma and a period, but it makes this line read so much smoother. So go through your other stanzas and make that change.

Final note, In you third stanza for some reason you switch to future tense and past tense. It's a little difficult to read. So maybe try saying something more like:

"Lies fill our minds with doubt
and harden each moment.
Making life unbearable,
like a desert to drought."

That's just a suggestion. Edit however you see fit. All and all a good piece with a nice theme. I greatly enjoyed reading it and I look forward to more of your writing. Let me know if you ever need a review, keep up the good work!

TuckEr EllsworTh

I never really liked reading poetry but I must say this one was pretty good. I hope to see more like these.

I like the poem,i really do and yet I feel it could be lengthened somehow,made into a story maybe? Also, some of the examples are a little unclear and could maybe be changed like ;It will make life unbearable like a desert to drought' because that confused me just a tad. However, you do use nice vocabulary and I really like the idea of the poem! Would gladly read more

Alright,

Lies, are but words one could easily find
to cover up detested truth
formed from a fearful mind
to escape inevitability

Lying won't do any good
but lengthen one's trial
and worsen one's mood
It is but a natural penalty

Lies would fill our minds with doubt
and harden each moment
It will make life unbearable
like a desert to drought

So why take the risk
Tell the truth
Everybody makes mistakes
So don't you worry
Tomorrow's another day
and tomorrow you'll be merry