I
I was raised by a single mother.
raised with three siblings.
It was easy to feel a bit
left behind
forgotten
lonely
unimportant.
But I had two friends in my head
with pineapple hair and orange skin.
.
They told me I could swallow a thumbtack,
had I the courage to. They told me to
staple the moon to my pillow
so I wouldn't have to bother to reach it.
.
II
The first time I stole money
I was eleven.
My mother's purse sat on the table
like an active hand grenade.
My friends said "do it do it"
there was something hypnotic in
the way they liked to see the world
turned inside out.
The coins clicking together sounded too much like my pulse.
I was melting.
.
III
I spent my early teens on the better end
of a pipe, inhaling dream clouds through
my mouth; nightmares out my nose.
I was immobile,
unmoveable,
a sack of flour on a bed with
eyes to watch the swans swim past.
.
But I was safe.
My friends would chat away to me,
but it was background noise;
a radio left on.
I grew more in a bed than I did in seven years.
I came out of my room with fuller cheeks
than I had all those years ago.
.
IV
I still have my friends over for tea sometimes.
The mere sight of them makes me amazed
at how much I've grown.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
I love how abstract and /weird/ this is.
It's so nice to read a funky poem now and then.
I feel like if I were a poem, I would be /this/ poem because it's just so out-there and awesome and I applaud you for taking the road not taken.
I have no problems with this poem's technicals so you're good on that score.
This was a really short review but I just wanted to let you know, I think it flowed really well and the descriptions gave me goosebumps.
Also, I love the story you told and I think a lot of people can relate. Great job!
Nine stars of ten, because I just loved this poem!
Hi Mongoose here to review!:P
First off the poem itself has an incredible story to it, with simple narration you have expressed an enormous amount of emotion and that is simply wonderful!
I find it a tad awkward that it is spit into three sections but i understand why you have done it, and it does help to break up the poem and show a shift through time. Although I would have put a line in, (especially in the last stanza) like, as time has passed... or something just to make it flow a little easier, but hey, each to their own.
By the way just thought 'd point out that T think are two typos, for and, where you put
' hair ans orange'
and,
away
'would chat awa to me'
but other than that, I think this poem is great, and you have shown this persons childhood through their eyes with a great sense of respect and emotion, so thankyou for posting!:P
Thank you!
You're welcome!:P