I've seen you in my shining eye.
The trees rustle in wait, my dears.
A lady of the sea will seal one's fate with blushing red.
A man in the mud, bears more then you give him credit.
To be lost in brown and to feel it inside you.
I've seen this before, in my broken reflection.
A stranger in my friend's body makes no sound.
The trees have been waiting.
The journey ends
With my shining eye.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
142,056 Literary Works • 676,494 Reviews
This was a great poem and i simply fell in love with this piece. My favorite line " A stranger in my friend's body makes no sound." i loved the line. The ending was really strong and the way you portrayed the end was brilliant. I hope too see more of this beautiful work. It is a great take on a well known genre and something new.
The ending was really strong, I like this a lot. You have a lot of imagination, as the poem shows, and I can't find any flaws. You did a really good job with this.
I have never been very good at reviewing poems so sorry if I am a little weird here, hahha.
I do enjoy the fantasy genre which may make me a little bias. Saying that, I really did enjoy this poem. One of my favourite lines would have to be
For me I got the image of a wondrous powerful witchy women. Hahha.
Having said that this poem lacked any real heart and seemed rather bland for a poem on fantasy. It could have used with some bigger and brighter imagery which is what makes a fantasy poem really shine.
All in all this was a pleasant poem but I didn't feel that it had any real depth to it and was very plain. Good work, keep on writing!