Just a poem I wrote when the wind catching in my window sounded like screaming. Enjoy :).
The Woman In The Trees.
I thought I heard a woman in the trees.
Screaming. Crying. Begging for help.
She knows I can hear her.
.
Her whispers were soft,
like an Autumn rain.
She calls me outside.
.
Cloth was hanging
from a nearby tree.
Could this be true?
.
But a plastic bag
and sultry wind
can grab a man's heart.
.
I thought i heard a woman in the trees,
but it was only the wind.
Only the wind.
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139,362 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Last but not least! The final poem!
This is very mysterious. I like your inspiration
This is a thought provoking line for me. It's one of those scary things where you know something and the other person knows something but nobody will do anything so it's like you're just stuck, and there's a palpable fear there of "What should I do?"
If I read this correctly, it's just the narrator's misinterpretation of an object to be a person? If so then I can relate to this too. Hearing sounds at night, or in your house, or you swore someone called your name, but it's just your mind playing tricks on you. Either way, by the time you realize it's fake, you're already breathing hard with your heart hammering double time.
Good overall mood and great last stanza. I think you have a knack for writing, but also finishing poems. Update me when you post more work okay?
Farewell!
I love this. It's very different from most works, I think. I knew from the title that I would most likely enjoy it. "Cloth was hanging from a nearby tree. Could this be true?" this small portion was most intriguing. The curiosity created by such a simple thing seemed to dwarf the confusion that might be caused by finding a woman amidst the trees. Of course, you follow with: "and sultry wind." This line with the last line of the previous stanza brought together a longing feeling that I found myself attracted to. Your explanation in the title shattered this perceived notion, though, which only bothered me slightly. Overall I think it's beautiful as is. Though, I do partially agree with others' mention of revising "But a plastic bag and sultry..." I also believe that non-punctuation can be your own show of style. If you wish to add punctuation, I think it would work well. If you do not wish to add further punctuation, might I suggest: "But plastic bag and sultry wind." Also. To broaden the subject, the scope of this poem you may consider "can grab man's heart." But, that's simply the devil's advocate in me trying to stir things up. Most enjoyable.
O_o......... Have you met @search? I think you two would hit it off over your shared love of big scary words.
Thanks for the review.
I've not, I suppose you will have to introduce me, as I am new to this site. I don't believe I have a love of big scary words, but I live with me every day.
I could not find any fault with the grammer and your style of writing is superb.
Your mystery and suspense is also very`nice. Your colurful adjectives and descriptions give the woman character.
I think that your ending is spoton!
Please try to improve this stanza:
But a plastic bag
and surly wind
can grab a man's heart.
I think you forgot the punctuations. Anyways greatt job done and I look forward to reading more of your work!
- Anshira
I see you have a lot of reviews to go through, so I'm going to hold back from technical stuff.
I just wanted to give a review on just the writing of it, which I thought was brilliant. Also, I must say I really liked your formatting, thought it was nice, although it could have flowed better in some cases if it had not been so separated.
Some examples of that was when you went to "Cloth" I felt "Hmh?". But then I understood it after reading everything. I would suggest adding an "A" or "The" to introduce the cloth. I liked this
I also liked the imagery in it.
I must say I liked the ending also, awesome job on it! Also, way to extract such a poem through a moment like that in everyday life, quite wise.
This poem is very intense. It kept me on edge as I read through it, and I got the feeling of a nagging hope that dwindles, disappointed, by the last stanza.
I honestly have no words for it. The fragmented sentences and fleeting thoughts worked well, and I only saw one error. In the last stanza, your second "I" is not capitalized.
Wonderful job!
oh! beautiful creation. i loved the way u characterized woman with wind. it was really good. ur figuration was also nice. the stanzas are of low length....but length doesnt matter when u wrote a good poem.....
[Cloth was hanging
from a nearby tree.
Could this be true?
]
this stanza shocked me. i was in shock but you made it clear that it was wind. ah! what a fab! however increase few more lines in ur stanzas....to make this poem more heart touchy.
this is ur conclusive part of the poem......which i like most:
[I thought i heard a woman in the trees,
but it was only the wind.
Only the wind.]
Thank you
I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. 
Huh. Well, first of all, I believe that you should be more repetitive or add more rhyme. That's first.
For the second line, I think the periods should be replaced with commas. You also need to fix a few grammar mistakes in the third line.
This second stanza does not fit with the first stanza. You wrote, "her 'whispers' were soft," and you also wrote, "She calls me outside." The second line in the first stanza says differently. The second line also seems too forced.
This stanza needs more explanation. It seems too random, and it doesn't fit in with the message you are trying to give as a poet.
This stanza also needs to be explained. It's a lot like the third stanza, however, they both stray too far from the original message.
I don't want to be all picky or anything, and no, I'm not a perfectionist or I don't like to call myself one. But on the first line, the "I" must be capitalized. Moving on to more major issues, I don't think that the third line is required. Maybe delete or you can rewrite it. Although, you don't have to. The repetitive side of it is perfect, and I don't think you MUST demolish it (Heh, an exaggeration). It's alright overall, and you ARE the writer after all or more specifically, the poet.
This poem has great potential, and it just needs to be fixed inside of it. The genre doesn't fit, but I know it must be hard picking genres. Honestly, I practically get lost there. I end up sitting in my chair for a while trying to pick the genre.
Keep writing! I'd love to see more of your work!
Thank you for your honest opinion. To clarify, the cloth in the trees is the plastic bag, he confused it for a woman's dress, and the 'sultry wind' is to describe the type of wind, to help understand how the man mistook the wind for a voice.
Also the genre was hard to pick xD I went with mystery to coincide with the mystery of the woman/wind. I think I may have took it to literally.
Again, thank you for reading, and your honest opinion.
I wouldn't begin my poem with a description of the reasons that made me write it. And since your genre here is supposed to be mystery/suspense, why break all that suspense just at the beginning, do you get me? It would be better if you put that note at the end of the poem.
On to the review :
The first stanza ends and you've started the mystery thing just fine. There's one thing though, according to me the 3rd line should've been 'She knew I could hear her.' Past event, past tense.
like an Autumn rain : How about, Like rain in autumn or like autumn rain ? The use of an seemed odd to me. Let me know if that's correct.
Clearly, the tense of the 1st and the 3rd lines is different just as I pointed out earlier in the first stanza. I don't see a good reason for this. I mean, in a narrative poem, I would want it to be clear what is happening and what happened. I'm not saying one can't switch tenses as they please, you can totally do that sometimes in a single poem, for example :
They left me here, but (Past tense)
I will move on. (Future tense)
For now, I watch the days pass (Present tense)
BUT since you're narrating a continuous chain of past events, the tense should be past.
Cloth was hanging : "A cloth was hanging"?
I honestly did not understand these lines. Could you please elaborate where the 'plastic bag' comes into play.
You could also elaborate the 'grab a man's heart' part. Grab with what? Fear? Surprise? Let us know.
Well I think there's nothing to nitpick in this one, the ending is fine, you make the mystery fade away, the mystery that you presented in the first stanza. Done just fine.
PM me if you have any confusion about my review. Keep going and keep writing poetry!
Cheers,
S
Thank you for your review.
I appreciate te constructive criticism. 