z

Young Writers Society


12+

Conquest of Shadows Chapter 7

by FlamingPhoenix


"Richard, wake up!” Came a harsh voice from behind the boy.

Groggily opening his cobalt eyes, Richard glanced up only to be met with a disapproving glare. Ryan had his arms crossed over his chest as he arched a thin eyebrow.

Rubbing his eyes Richard sat up, his face saw from having it rest against his stone windowsill. “Sorry.” He mumbles out.

Letting out an aged sigh Ryan took another stool from near the window and sat down in front of Richard, a look of concern on his face. “You were looking at the photo again weren’t you?” His green eyes scanned over the young boys face.

Letting out a shaky breath Richard nodded, the soft morning rays dancing over his skin. Looking out the window his eyes landed on the soft orange sky, a gentle breeze blew in white velvety clouds. “What happened to them, Ryan?”

Crossing his arms Ryan looked out the window. “You know I can’t tell you that.” He placed a hand on Richards back. “Look I will tell you when the time is right.”

“But…” Richard argued, didn’t he have the right to know what happened. “What about my brother?”

Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know what happened to Tyler. After your parents went missing he left too.” His eyes fell to the floor and he began to wring his hands together. “I believe the pain got too much for him.”

“Oh.” Was all Richard managed to get out as his eyes still looked out onto the rising sun, its warmth and light filling the air and space around it.

“You really want to find out about your parents don’t you?” Ryan uttered while standing up, letting out a low sigh he nodded. “Very well, before they left on the mission they left you a letter.” Reaching into his pocket he removed a wood and paper scroll, handing it over he continued to talk. “I haven’t read it, but trust me what is in there is probably going to change your life, so open it at your own risk Perhaps it’s time you learn the truth and I stop treating you like a child.” With that he turned and left the room, leaving Richard to his thoughts.

Looking down at the scroll Richard felt himself take hold of one of the fine red strings that kept it rolled up. His heart pounded in his chest as his eyes never left the fine paper that could hold all the answers his been dying to find out. Shaking his head he stood up and walked over to his bedside table, opening one of the wooden draws he gently placed the scroll inside.

“Maybe another time.” He said quietly closing the draw.

Heading for the door he pulled up his mask covering half his face, his hood covering his blond locks. Heading down the hall he entered the room he knew he would find Ryan. “I’m heading out.” He called over his shoulder, fastening his sword he had grabbed before leaving his room onto his back.

“Not going to get into any trouble I hope.” Came a petulant reply from Ryan, sitting back in his chair he sipped his tea, his eyes closed as the steam came floating out his cup the sweet aroma filling the room.

Sending Ryan a small grin Richard opened the door to the stables. “Nope, none what so ever, you don’t need to worry.”

“Oh I’m not worried about you, I’m concerned about the horse,” Ryan said over his shoulder without even glancing at Richard.

Rolling his ocean blue eyes Richard closed the door behind him. He was used to Ryan’s comments, it was just his way of showing him he carried, even if it was a little strange. But it was still better than nothing, besides it wasn’t like he was any better at showing affection.

Walking over to Thunder’s stable Richard took the reins and saddle he had hung up yesterday with him, the leather cold against his top and hands. Placing the items down on the hay floor he gave Thunder a pat on the nose, saying calm and soothing words while he gave him a short groom. Running his hands over his cores black hair he could feel his strong mussels ripple along his body.

It didn’t take Richard long to get Thunder saddled up and fed, leading him to the stable gates Richard looked out over the sandy wasteland ahead of them, the lush greenery a small line in the distains. Hoisting himself onto Thunder’s back they both galloped through the cool morning air, the breeze stinging his face.

“Time to pay Rachel a small visit,” Richard mumbled, patting the black stallion’s neck his eyes glued on the land before them. All he knew is he had to get the Gem back, who knows what could have happened? He also had to get as far away from his parents' letter as he could. He knew he wasn’t ready to learn the truth. What if he does what Tyler did, runs away and never shows his face again?

Tightening his hold on Thunders rains Richard tapped his foot against the black horse’s side, edging him to go faster.Richard could feel the cool morning breeze whip past his face as he closed his eyes letting himself fall into its cold embrace.

Time seems to fly by as Richard had known relocation of how much time had passed when he and Thunder stopped in front of a small cottage.Dismounting Thunder Richard walked up the steps onto the front porch, the old wood creaking under his weight. Breathing in a large sigh Richard opened to door, the old wood squeaking on its hinges.

Peering inside Richard’s eyes only landed on old furnishings and a dusty table of to the side of the darkroom, the light coming from the window casting dim blades of light into the dust-coated room. Slowly he walked in the light from behind him casting his shadow on the wall in front of him.

Suddenly he felt a pair of arms wrap around his neck in a tight hold. Acting out of instinct he reached behind him and grabbed the attacker’s shoulders and heaved them over his back, sending them to the floor. Reaching into his weapons pouch he removed his knife, but before he attacks further he looked down at the girl lying on the floor at his feet glaring up at him.

“What are you doing here Richard?” She asked getting to her feet. She didn’t glance up at him as she began to dust herself off.

Scowling Richard hissed. “I came looking for you, and an item you stole from me.” He crossed his arms over his chest as he watched her.

Her demeanor remained calm as she took her time answering him. “Oh, hush I only borrowed it.”

“Where is it, Rachel?” Richard demanded his eyes taking on a dark glint.

Rachel scoffed. “Well not here if that’s what you’re asking? It’s back at the cave where I keep on my valuable things.” Waving her hand at him she walked out of the house.

Letting out a low sigh Richard followed her. He could feel his temper boiling but tried to keep it under wraps. He watched as she mounted her white mare. Getting the hint he ran to go get on Thunder, the black stallion stomped his hooves against the grass when he was pooled by the rains and kicked in the side to follow Rachel.

Looking over at his friend Richard couldn’t help but notes she was completely at ease as her black locks waved in the wind behind her.Clearing his throat he asked. “Why did you take it, Rachel?”

Looking over at him her blue eyes meeting his, she smiled. “I’ll tell you when we get to the cave.” Flicking the rains she dashed forward on her horse.

“I hate it when she gets like this.” Richard groaned as he commanded Thunder to follow after the others.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
4101 Reviews


Points: 254038
Reviews: 4101

Donate
Thu Jun 25, 2020 3:50 pm
View Likes
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)

Halfway point has been passed.

First Impression: Ohh I need to read that letter. And you do a great job of bringing out the relationship between Richard and Ryan here(Do you like the letter R? So many R's). And more Rachel coming up. Yaay!!

Anyway getting to it,

Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know what happened to Tyler. After your parents went missing he left too.” His eyes fell to the floor and he began to wring his hands together. “I believe the pain got too much for him.”


More backstory. This is going to be amazing when it is all revealed.

“You really want to find out about your parents don’t you?” Ryan uttered while standing up, letting out a low sigh he nodded. “Very well, before they left on the mission they left you a letter.” Reaching into his pocket he removed a wood and paper scroll, handing it over he continued to talk. “I haven’t read it, but trust me what is in there is probably going to change your life, so open it at your own risk Perhaps it’s time you learn the truth and I stop treating you like a child.” With that he turned and left the room, leaving Richard to his thoughts.


That's a long time to keep a letter but it does make sense that he's only be old enough now. I really want to know what's in that thing.

“Maybe another time.” He said quietly closing the draw.


That should be drawer.

He called over his shoulder, fastening his sword he had grabbed before leaving his room onto his back.


The sword would sound better I think.

“Oh I’m not worried about you, I’m concerned about the horse,” Ryan said over his shoulder without even glancing at Richard.


This relationship is reminding me of the relationship between Arcturus and Harry.( I know you have no idea who they are). I loved that dynamic and I love this dynamic that they have. It's conveyed really well.

Running his hands over his cores black hair he could feel his strong mussels ripple along his body.


Somehow I don't think you mean the seafood. It muscles right?

It didn’t take Richard long to get Thunder saddled up and fed, leading him to the stable gates Richard looked out over the sandy wasteland ahead of them, the lush greenery a small line in the distains.


That should be distance.

All he knew is he had to get the Gem back, who knows what could have happened? He also had to get as far away from his parents' letter as he could. He knew he wasn’t ready to learn the truth. What if he does what Tyler did, runs away and never shows his face again?


Okay after all this I'm starting think the jewel, the parents and them being outlawed are all connected somehow. Hmm...do assassins steal?

Tightening his hold on Thunders rains Richard tapped his foot against the black horse’s side, edging him to go faster.Richard could feel the cool morning breeze whip past his face as he closed his eyes letting himself fall into its cold embrace.


That is some beautiful language there. Great imagery.

Time seems to fly by as Richard had known relocation of how much time had passed when he and Thunder stopped in front of a small cottage.Dismounting Thunder Richard walked up the steps onto the front porch, the old wood creaking under his weight. Breathing in a large sigh Richard opened to door, the old wood squeaking on its hinges.


That should be recollection. I'm curious. Are you using a phone to type this? Some of these mistakes are the sort of ones you get when the phone's autocorrect acts up.

And a sigh is usually when you exhale. Sort of like you're releasing a breath that you were unconsciously holding. In that context its wrong to call it a sigh.

Peering inside, Richard’s eyes only landed on old furnishings and a dusty table of to the side of the darkroom, the light coming from the window casting dim blades of light into the dust-coated room. Slowly he walked in the light from behind him casting his shadow on the wall in front of him.


There should be a comma there. Also great description.

Suddenly he felt a pair of arms wrap around his neck in a tight hold. Acting out of instinct he reached behind him and grabbed the attacker’s shoulders and heaved them over his back, sending them to the floor. Reaching into his weapons pouch he removed his knife, but before he attacks further he looked down at the girl lying on the floor at his feet glaring up at him.


That is an awesome move.

Her demeanor remained calm as she took her time answering him. “Oh, hush I only borrowed it.”


Yep Rachel is definitely my favorite.

Rachel scoffed. “Well not here if that’s what you’re asking? It’s back at the cave where I keep on my valuable things.” Waving her hand at him she walked out of the house.


That word is not necessary.

Looking over at him her blue eyes meeting his, she smiled. “I’ll tell you when we get to the cave.” Flicking the rains she dashed forward on her horse.

“I hate it when she gets like this.” Richard groaned as he commanded Thunder to follow after the others.


Lovely little cliffhanger. So sad that I have to go eat before I can read the next chapter.

And that's it.

Overall: Some great character development again. And a lovely ending. I can't wait to come back and read the rest.

As always remember to take what you think is helpful and forget the rest..

I'll be gone for a couple of hours but I will be back to do at least four more reviews before I stop for the day.

Stay Safe
Harry






I have know idea how those three all started with R's but the names fit them so I'm not complaining.
Oh gosh sometimes I wonder if my fingers have their on minds and add words in the wrong places on purpose!
Anyway I'm glad your liking things so far! I'm getting more jumpy the further you go!
Take your time there's know rush!



KateHardy says...


Well I'm back for hopefully four more though that might change because I gotta go see if Zoltar made it to Emerald and Shiraku. (wink) and the R's. Fun fact for you: My real name starts with R.





Oh really!? Cool! Mine is a J
Enjoy the chapter! felistia worked hard on it!



KateHardy says...


Mmm...that's the very last review scheduled for the day.





Okay!



KateHardy says...


:)



User avatar
453 Reviews


Points: 825
Reviews: 453

Donate
Tue Feb 11, 2020 3:34 am
View Likes
Lib wrote a review...



Heya Flames!

Hope you're doing well. I'm here for the review I promised you earlier! ^^

Alright, sooo apparently Ryan had the letter the entire time?? And he never thought of giving it to Richard earlier?? Unless he *wanted* Richie to see the letter like this, after him missing his parents so much.

Oh wow, he just whipped out the letter. I wonder if he carries it around all the time? Or was Ryan *specifically* waiting for this moment to give it to Richie...? Hm. :|

He's gunna open it later. T______T I waned to know what all of it was about though... Alas, I have to wait some more. I honestly don't understand though... such an important thing and he's putting it away to read later. Maybe he already has a lot on his plate right now? Or maybe it would've been too much to put into one chapter? No clue whatsoever, but we trust you with this!! :)

Anyways, off we go to Rachel's place! Oh, lol, I love this greeting. XD Very friendly and very safe. XD I really do wonder why Rachel "borrowed" the Gem and you're going to make us wait for another chapter!! D= We shall see, though, we shall indeed see!

"I hate it when she gets like this."

I AGREE SO MUCH. >_>

Well, this was a great chapter as usual. And the usual suggestion I give to many: reread your piece to avoid any minor errors. Other than that, wonderful job, Flames! Excited to see where you'll be going with this. And of course, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me whenever!

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty






Thanks for the review Lib.
You will get to find out a lot more in the next chapter, and we will get to the letter soon. Me being a writer I have to add things in that will keep the reader well reading. XD So the letter was one of those things I'm going to put off for a chapter or two. know idea. Lol

Anyway I hope you will enjoy the next chapter when it is out. :D



Lib says...


You're welcome!






User avatar
151 Reviews


Points: 4549
Reviews: 151

Donate
Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:23 pm
View Likes
writerkitty wrote a review...



^-^ Yay! a new chapter!!

Alright, let's get to the review, shall we? :D

This is was a really interesting chapter, I really enjoyed reading it and we got to learn a bit more about Richard's family. Oh, and we got to meet sassy Rachel again xD

I really feel sorry for poor Richie, he's lost his family and now he's gotta train really hard to become an assassin; the very job that made him lose his parents and brother in the first place. :/

“You really want to find out about your parents don’t you?” Ryan uttered while standing up, letting out a low sigh he nodded. “Very well, before they left on the mission they left you a letter.” Reaching into his pocket he removed a wood and paper scroll, handing it over he continued to talk. “I haven’t read it, but trust me what is in there is probably going to change your life, so open it at your own risk Perhaps it’s time you learn the truth and I stop treating you like a child.” With that he turned and left the room, leaving Richard to his thoughts.


:O Whaaat, so Ryan had that latter all this time, and never thought to give it to him until now... ;-; But then again, he probably waited until he was old enough to properly understand what had really happened.

Now I'm really curious to know what's written in that letter :O

“Maybe another time.” He said quietly closing the draw.


Nooooooooooo >.> Hmm... oh well, take your time Richard, there's no hurry


The dialogue between the uncle and Richard in this chapter pretty funny at most parts in this chapter. ^^ In the previous ones, it was a bit more tense, especially Richard's. Hmm...

Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know what happened to Tyler. After your parents went missing he left too.” His eyes fell to the floor and he began to wring his hands together. “I believe the pain got too much for him.”

“Oh.” Was all Richard managed to get out as his eyes still looked out onto the rising sun, its warmth and light filling the air and space around it.



I think I understand why he just said 'oh' as a response... I mean, the brother probably would've been devastated after their parents went missing, but he should've been there for his brother. ;-; I mean Richard must've been pretty devastated as well...


Oh well, I really hope we get to learn more about Richard's family later on. ^^

I really like Rachel...she's so confident and sassy and awesome! xD I just love how she always manages to scare Richard, but she often gets the punishment for it as well. I think she's a good friend to have around for Richard, because the poor dude is always so tense and stressed about everything, and Rachel seems to trigger his other emotions.


O.O I'm starting to think she knows a lot more about the jewel than she initially told him... I think the jewel is related to some sort of magic, and maybe Rachel knows about it too...what if she even knows how to use it!? :O


Onto the nit-picks and suggestions! ^^

Rubbing his eyes Richard sat up, his face saw from having it rest against his stone windowsill. “Sorry.” He mumbles out.


This one's just a suggestion, so feel free to ignore this one if you want, ^-^ but I think it's better if you used 'the' instead of 'his' here.

Rubbing his eyes Richard sat up, his face saw from having it rest against his stone windowsill. “Sorry.” He mumbles out.


You switched from past to present tense here, (I often do this too) so maybe you can change 'he mumbles out' to 'he mumbled out'


Time seems to fly by as Richard had known relocation of how much time had passed when he and Thunder stopped in front of a small cottage.


This sentence confused me a bit... maybe you can change it a bit to make it more clear?

^-^ There were a few small errors here and there, but I think you'd be able to easily fix them if you re-read the chapter.

That's all for now!
This is was really nice chapter, and I'm really looking forward to read the rest!! ^^

Keep up the good work!
Hope you have an awesome day/night!
Your friend,
writerkitty






I'm really glad you liked the chapter Kitty! I was trying to dive a bit further into Richard and Ryan's relationship in this chapter, and from what I can see it seems to have worked!
I'm also happy you like Rachel, I like her to and having her personality so different to Richard's, is rather fun to write.

Thanks for pointing out the mistakes Kitty, I always seem to miss somethings here and there. Lol I'll get to them as soon as I can!

Now I will be onto chapter 8 And I think we might have a few more things explained, like the jewel your so eager to find out about. ;)



writerkitty says...


^^ Of course!!

I'm looking forward to read the next chapter! :D Yessss...I always wanted to know more about ze jewel





XD Well hopefully you won't have to wait long.




something I have been thinking about ever since I saw the Super Mario Bros movie is how once I took a "what Nintendo character are you" quiz and I got Waluigi.
— Elinor