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Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Life in an 80s Movie

by FireEyes


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

I just wanna live

In an 80s movie

Somewhere I can give

And it would be groovy

~

Maybe I could kick some butt

And win the All-Valley

Bonsai I could cut

Or kill that girl Ali

~

There could be Russian invaders

Victory screams WOLVERIENES

We'll lose some of our own

If that means winning, by all means

~

I want to fall in love

With a farm boy

See a man with a six fingered glove

And then after all we'll jump for joy

~

Is that an alien

Out in the wood?

Its defiantly not mammalian

Is it evil or is it good?

~

Key to faking out parents; clammy hands

I'm a big believer in it

Cameron goes bezerk; Camera pans

I do have a test today that wasn't bullshit

~

Now I'm a Greaser or a hood

"I'm lousy," is all I've been told

I'm told, "I'm no good."

But I can say, "Stay Gold."


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235 Reviews

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Sun Mar 07, 2021 5:36 pm
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milkweed wrote a review...



'Ello!

I wanted to review this because I love 80s movies and I want to see if I can figure out the movies that the references belong to. Second and last are probably the easiest to figure out, so I'll skip over those ones.

See a man with a six fingered glove

And then after all we'll jump for joy


The Princess Bride? It was released in 1987 if I'm remembering correctly (might be a bit wrong haha), so it works there. :eyes:

Key to faking out parents; clammy hands


Ah yes, words of wisdom from Ferris Bueller.

Victory screams WOLVERIENES


Red Dawn??? :eyes:

Is that an alien

Out in the wood?

Its defiantly not mammalian

Is it evil or is it good?


Now, the first rhyme sounds good; it doesn't seem that forced and the words work well together, but the other rhyme is a bit quick and easy. It feels like an afterthought kind of, which I doubt it was.

A lot of the rhymes here suffer from that. There are some really solid ones, and that is wonderful, but there are also some ones that don't work well or just don't sound like they flow together nicely.

I love rhyming poetry, and I love the topic you chose. Just go here if you possibly need help with anything relating to rhymes.

Good job!

lum




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Sun Mar 07, 2021 1:19 am
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PoetryMisfit says...



Hi!

First off I really enjoyed this poem especially because I totally got most of the references. It's a very interesting idea for a poem, and it makes me wonder why you decided to write it. I really enjoyed the last line: "But I can say, 'stay gold.'"




FireEyes says...


Hi. To keep you from wondering, I wrote this because I absolutely love 80s movies. I realized i could make a literary work about some of my favourites.



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Sat Mar 06, 2021 10:04 pm
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CreativeUsername wrote a review...



Hey I guess I’m here to review. Haven’t done it in awhile, so here we go

I don’t know much about the 80s or anything, but I mean the 80s references seemed accurate. I know everyone on this site says “I really liked this poem” but I really liked this poem. It wasn’t all deep and poetic but rather straightforward and it’s nice to see that in poetry sometimes. The rhyming for the most part flowed good and I’m sure this is nostalgic for someone out there

The only critique I have is that the line “I do have a test today that wasn’t bullshit” doesn’t flow in that stanza. I think it’s too long or something? Maybe shorten it and it will flow better or find something else to rhyme with “it”. It’s your choice, whatever you want to do

Anyway that’s it, I hope this helped maybe ?? I don’t know, just. Good poem





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