Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
Hey you, come, sit down.
Let’s talk instead of looking around.
You still think it’s your fault?
But you’re deepening the wound with salt.
What did they do?
They hurt you?
Yeah? How?
With those words now?
Oh, and hung your emotions?
And the tears poured out like oceans.
The psychological torment was the worst?
Please let this out or else you’ll burst.
You know you’re not the reason
But the guilt comes every season.
Well, I’d love to tell you, it’s not your fault.
Don’t override this, just halt.
Your brain knows but your heart doesn’t.
It’s not a fault it just isn’t.
No one deserves what you’ve been through.
But you got out of there and you flew!
You are strong and mighty.
The scars are still on your psyche.
Please say it with me.
It’s not my fault.
.
.
.
It’s not my fault.
.
.
.
It’s not my fault.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,327 Literary Works • 672,533 Reviews
"Let’s talk instead of looking around."
Many people, such as myself, don't want to talk about their problems. They're afraid of being overdramatic, or being ridiculed, or they simply don't know where to start. They're afraid that their problems are their own fault and keep it bottled up inside them. The people who smile the brightest can cry the hardest in secret, the people who constantly say they're fine can go through the most pain. It's hard to spot these people, but once someone special realizes what they've gone through, they will go out of their way to help them.
Hey there, Mordax here with a review! First off, I love the movie Good Will Hunting, and this poem does not disappoint! It is beautifully written, emotional, and ah, makes my heart hurt. That being said, let's jump right in!
I love this line. It is not only beautifully worded but incredibly accurate, for blaming yourself and refusing help not only prevents healing, it worsens the wound.
Another favorite line of mine:
I can just hear someone telling another this, urging them to see how far they have come from where they were. The false smile in their voice, the superficial moral, and the underlying exhaustion and pain. All from this line, I love it!
The only line that didn't ring right for me, (and this critique is very minor given that this line is still very good) was
There are two reasons this line just didn't feel right. 1. I feel like in terms of trauma, physical pain is rarely the worst, and if it connects to physical pain, it is the emotional baggage that comes with said pain. 2. The diction also felt lacking here, and rather than feeling intentional, it almost felt like a filler line to connect the rhyme with "burst".
That's all I really have for you! Sorry for the lack of legitimate critique, this poem was just already beautiful and perfect.
Keep writing!
Mordax
Hey thanks for the review! As for the "physical pain line" I thought I did something out of order but I didn't know what it was. Thanks for pointing it out!
Hi there, Ellie-Mae here for a quick review!
I’ll give honest feedback, but nothing at all is intended to hurt or discourage you in any way at all! <3 So, without waiting any longer, let’s get right into it and digest the spectabulous piece of literary work!
but the poem is also incredibly uniques and awesome:)
Wishing you a happy day/evening/morning/night/whatever is applicable to your part of the world! First off, please remember that my reviews are my own opinions
FireEyes! Oh my goodness I remember that movie scene. I was bawling my eyes out. Such a lovely reminder
I sure love it when poems repeat things, so the end was great. But, so was the beginning and the middle… haha so the whole thing! XD
It really feels like someone is speaking directly to me when I read this. It’s really powerful because of that.
Do I have your permission to save this? (Maybe put it up on my wall?) I’ll give you full credit. I just like saving poems I really love
Ellie
Hi there, Ellie-Mae here for a quick review!
I’ll give honest feedback, but nothing at all is intended to hurt or discourage you in any way at all! <3 So, without waiting any longer, let’s get right into it and digest the spectabulous piece of literary work!
but the poem is also incredibly uniques and awesome:)
Wishing you a happy day/evening/morning/night/whatever is applicable to your part of the world! First off, please remember that my reviews are my own opinions
FireEyes! Oh my goodness I remember that movie scene. I was bawling my eyes out. Such a lovely reminder
I sure love it when poems repeat things, so the end was great. But, so was the beginning and the middle… haha so the whole thing! XD
It really feels like someone is speaking directly to me when I read this. It’s really powerful because of that.
Do I have your permission to save this? (Maybe put it up on my wall?) I’ll give you full credit. I just like saving poems I really love
Ellie
Yeah of course you can save it! And thank you for your kind review!