Just as I was getting to feel secure and safe you emailed me
My heart vanished into the void but still beat like I needed to run away
All the memories came flooding back in a flash like a near-death situation
I shook and shook like I was in the arctic with no clothes
Just looking at the email in the inbox drained the life out of me
That voice in my head screamed, "WHY DIDN'T YOU BLOCK HIM EARLIER?"
~~~
I was yelling and pouring my fears out to my friend because of what you did
Why couldn't you just let go and leave me be like what I have been trying to do?
Still 2 hours before I could feel somewhat safe to know what you wrote to me
The pain was shown on my face with wrinkles in the forehead and twists in my mouth
The guilt was creeping up on me again and I know it was your fault but....
I couldn't shake it, I couldn't shake that it was
all
my
fault
~~~
Finally after grueling hours and thousands of tears shed in solace I opened the email
"Don't worry. I've calmed down. Kind of."
I've got a bad feeling about this. Nothing good can come out of this boy.
I kept reading. It seems as though your grammar hasn't changed.
My friend agreed, my real friend, not the one you had been talking to before
But everything you typed was so sinister in tone that no part of me can believe you've been calm
~~~
I cannot believe what you were implying through out the whole email
"You seek out people who are just like me"
"You can't live without me"
"You need me"
No, no I don't
I need to...
get away...
from...
you
~~~
You signed away as "Phoenix" and were up till 7am writing this, huh?
Well with 3 clicks of a button it was done
I don't have to think about you anymore
I hope I never hear from you ever again
Sleep well old buddy because deep down you know
That you are and always will be the desperate one
~~~
Goodbye.
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Canary word: Present
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139,327 Literary Works • 672,533 Reviews
Hello!
My gosh, I have been in your position before. This is an excellent way to portray the feelings of utter panic, desperation, and fright when getting a message from someone who 1) hurt you or 2) you thought you had been 'rid' of, at least for a while. The personal tone of your vocabulary and formation of sentences reflects the feelings I mentioned before.
As a little tip, if you find yourself using the same word(s) repeatedly - try going to thesaurus.com! You can find synonyms and antonyms of any word you type into the search bar. I have used it many times and it is helpful in a pinch!
Keep up the good work.
LCP ✻
first i could say about this poem is its really nice i really love your poem so much keep up the good work keep doing you. second i don't like when you said i got a bad feeling about this its a little sad. third keep up on this poetry cause they love you. forth i don't like the little depressed words to me.
Hiya Ashlyn here for a review!! Before I dive into it though please know that this review is not intended to offend you or make your writing look bad.
Is that its stylistic choice ^^
That line really helped me to feel the emotion you were feeling at the moment. Extremely well put <33
I get that. It's kind of a 'oh god no' and then your heart starts pounding type feeling. Maybe you could phrase looking at the email in the inbox' better, but honestly that's just a suggestion
my skewed sense of what does or doesn't make smooth wording acting out in other words, I've a terrible sense of grammar, and your probably better of leaving it as is ^^'Screamed' 'screaming' that's redundant ^^ Maybe try finding a synonym for 'screaming'?
That makes me sick. Who does he think he is sending you an email like that? Like what the actual heck?? I don't know everything about the situation but I hope you were able to safely deal with the email, and recover the emotional blows <333 It hurts knowing someone as amazing as you are had to go through something like that. It's not right <333
Such a powerful ending and all to true. People who mistreat others walk around all high and mighty saying their victims are weak, incompetent, desperate and needy, when in actuality their only describing themselves. Their victims can grow, recover, and get stronger, but they will always be weak, forever a victim of themselves.
Aaaand that concludes this review. I hope you found it helpful, and if not, I hope it at least made your day in some way <33
-Asher
Thank you for the review!! If you'd want some more context on the poem I could PM you if you'd like
Your welcome ^^ You don't have to PM me, especially if it's something that's still to close.