The War Against Humanity.

So, I'm very new at reviews, so it may not be good, but I'll try.


This is so cool. I loved this poem and it's true that the world is turning into a war zone.
Very good writing. I truly enjoyed reading it.

This is so pretty! The only things I would have done differently would have been to add 'visible' to the end of the third line and remove 'are' in the sixth, but I think those are just style choices. I really love the italicized words in the right, it's very original and creative. Overall, beautiful poem!

Hey DivergentDemigod!


This is poetry of exceptional quality. I mean it, because to me it seems as if you've taken up a subject with contemporary values - the content sort of corresponds to recent terror attacks like the ones in Dhaka and Turkey (if that was your intention).


Content wise, I see you've used an amalgam of narrative and descriptive elements in your writing. From start to beginning you make the subject clear about some sort of conflict such as war (religion, cultural etc). You've put in much emphasis for the term "humanity". You've done this by describing and touching up on examples such as blood covering and what not (to show how terrible this is).

Grammar and Spelling, everything seems quite intact. For the fourth stanza, I feel you could've used a colon for the line "Innocent killed: Men, Women, and Kids". It's a suggestion from my side. But otherwise, it's fine.

Structure is in good shape. You've organized your content into stanzas of six lines. After a point it becomes irregular because you seem to have indicated a turning point, because now they're coming for you and your family (possibly). Metaphorically speaking, you may have mentioned "you" for your country, your neighbourhood etc. So in all, significance is there for your structure.

It's coherent, I can see that as you begin from introducing the conflict, then describing the conflict, and finally you conclude by turning it towards yourself, and this awful nightmare.

Literary Devices are doing good in this poem. I am able to spot similes, adjectives, metaphors, and personification.


My personal rating for this work is 4.4/5


I'll add a "like" as this work got 80%+ from me

The sad thing is that the war against humanity is waged by humans!

It is a nice poem.

Dark of theme but that's great. Who couldn't use a little darkness, a little blackness, it is reality.

I feel like if you were really going for apocalyptic imagery and dramatics you could go bigger than a gun(bombs, missiles, etc...)

I can really relate to a lot of what you've written here.

I like it.

Hey its ShaeSnow here for a review!!! So, i like the thing you did with does lines at the edge, they could be read as subtitles or the beginning of the new paragraph.
The idea in this poem in itself is captivating but you mademade it so much more fascinating, there is something like a rhyme scheme, even though it's sort of scattered. It isn't so clear if its intended or not, you could work on that.
I like the stanza before the last, it's like the narrator feels defeated, but then an opening arises in the last as you realize it wasn't real but you also wonder, could it be something?
Great work, again, I'm not going to point out spelling errors since its already been done.

Hi there, John here trying to give you a review. I really enjoyed the flow of this poem and the concept really hit. The last paragraph really kicked to poem up a notch as it let the reader stop and think. I also love the structure of this poem as it made it seem like the stanzas on the left hand side was being told by the persona but the right hand side (in my opinion) seemed like cries of the peoples' souls.
I also love the fact that in the last stanza it was revealed that it was a dream. It made it seem even more creepy as it seemed like a foreshadowing. I do suggest you try to work on line length and make things more even and also work on creating some more imagery.
Hope this was helpful!

Hello, my good pal, DivergentDemigod! (Good username by the way). How are you doing this fine Sunday? I'm just stopping by to give you a good ol' review. Let's get started then, hmm?

Now, let me just start by announcing some things I liked and somethings I didn't quite like about your piece. Now, just by your title and by skimming over your poem I can deduce that it takes place in some kind of war (up until the end that is). My problem with it is that that's all we know about it. Is that it's a war. But I mean, why are all of these people fighting? It's understand that this is a dream but I don't know if that excuses the unanswered questions. The only way it would is if you played the "hmm I don't understand this" or the "where am I" card. The ending though a bit done and generic isn't bad. It was just a bit... bland. Now let's ease into the positives, huh? I loved the structure of your poem. Usually, ill structured poems really irk me, so I'm glad to see that this is so well put together in terms of that. I also enjoyed your ability to give the poem a voice. A lot of people can't do that too well, but I could really hear the emotion and the narration peaking through the words in a really natural way. Which is always enjoyed, of course! Now on to the smaller observations and nitpickier stuff.

"Destruction! Devastation!"

You know, normally I wouldn't like this as an introduction for a poem. But it felt right here. I like your use of the words, they feel... right.

Now, one thing I noticed about your poem is that you imply that the world that these people live in is perfect, whether you intended to or not. Take for example sentences such as, "that once used to be so happy, so content" and, "diluting what once used to be fresh morning air". I feel the concept would have been more believable if though beautiful, the world was still established to be imperfect.

"Stop! I yelled.

As someone points a gun at me.

Stop! I begged.

As the bullet hits me.

Stop! I cried.

But I know its too late.

for the war against humanity has began."

^^I don't have much to say about this apart from the fact that I like this. The structure worked well and really helped the build in this moment. That said, I feel it lacks some tension, however the build is still there. It's imperfect, yes, but I just really like it. I keep rereading and rereading it.

Finally onto my last little concern. I don't know how I felt about the way that the dream was revealed. I mean, yes, in no humanely way could this person have written a poem after being shot in a mass massacre, but you're a good writer and this just felt like an easy cheat that limited your creative potential.

It's a solid poem with nice structure that wasn't perfect, but it obviously had some serious potential and it's a pretty damn good piece created by a pretty damn good writer. Congrats on the work and keep it up! Don't stop writing.

Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day.

Nit-picks

Hundreds dead, thousands injured,

are lying around in pools of their own blood.

Men, women and kids.

There cries being out-sounded

Stop! I yell.

Stop! I beg.


Stop! I cry.

Stop! I yelled.
Stop! I begged
Stop! I cried

But I know its too late.

"Its was just a dream."