Hello, InfiniteRectangles here with a review for you!
First, I'll say that I really loved this poem, and as a writer, and artist, and a lefty, I am well accustomed to pencil smudges haha. Anyway, on with the review. It will probably be rather short, because I don't have much to say about this poem.
I like what you did with the metaphors. The first metaphor is easily understood. However, the last one was a little more difficult to figure out. I had to read it again before it clicked in my mind, but that could just be my brain being slow and not anything you are doing wrong haha. maybe if you added a line or two where you added to the description, it would give your readers a little more clarity. Don't make it too obvious though. You want your readers to think.
Myfinguresfingers are covered with graphite and is more
The only other thing I noticed was that your poem could use a little more imagery. It's great like it is, but it doesn't leave much of an image in my mind. The vocabulary is rather bland, and there's nothing really spectacular about your descriptions. The way it is now, you have your metaphors going for you, but not much else. I suggest spicing things up a bit by being more descriptive. Play around with the vocabulary and try to avoid filling your poem with average, elementary words.
Overall, I really enjoyed this poem, and the only things that stood out to me were lack of imagery and the unclear metaphor at the end. Keep writing and have a wonderful day/night!
Points: 4497
Reviews: 119
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