Yo don't be dying on me bruh q.q
I let the knife go, finally
Satisfied by my handiwork.
It falls to the floor with a soft thud.
Drip...drip...drip
The sound of dripping blood,
the only sound filling the night sky.
Its funny how the color of blood
always surprises me, no matter how often I see it.
Every time I expect it to be a brilliant red,
but it never seizes to amaze me.
Its not red, or even a deep scarlet
as people describe it.
Its crimson, brighter than you expect it to be
and immensely beautiful .
*
Red lines mark my wrist
some faded, some new
overlapping each other.
Everything hurts.
My head. My arms. My chest.
Every part of my body screams for rest.
For peace.
But pain is a good thing.
It is the only escape from reality.
The physical pain
the only way to get away from the demon that resides in my mind.
*
The gentle dripping sound of blood
It is almost soothing as it echoes
Like a lullaby flowing forward
Luring me to sleep forever
To finally give in to oblivion
*
I like that the title makes you expect something different. It misdirects the reader into thinking it is going to be something sweet, yet maybe it is. The narrator sure does think that it is, how he gets a calmness from his pain.
A few mistakes to point out -
-'Red line(s) mark my wrist
-But it never s(e)ize to amaze me
-To finally give in/to oblivion
I like that the first and last stanza are similar, it makes the poem seem like its going in a circle. Like the narrators act of cutting themselves just continues and repeats itself.
I would remove all the full stops and just put one at the very end, to show that the circle and the repetition has finally stopped. The cycle is broken, as it is clear that they die.
Hello, Divergent Demigod.
This is Moonwatcher and I'll be your reviewer today.
Alright, a poem about cutting. Ouch. Personally, I don't relate, so I apologize if I don't agree too much with everything said here.
Its not red, or even a deep scarlet
as people describe it.
Its crimson, brighter than you expect it to be
and immensely beautiful .
Red line mark my wrist
Some faded. Some new.
Overlapping each other.
Hello Divergentdemigod, it's Turtles514 and I'll review your work today.
First off I'd like to say this is a very unique and bueatifully written peom. It has meaning along with lots of dramtic writing, there's just a few things that bother me but you could let slide is the its instead of it's. Also the line
"But it never sizes to amaze me "
Just sounds a little off using the word sizes without up following it again I guess it's just one of those things that would seem to go smoother if you changed just the littlest thing. Other than that this is an outstanding poem and I really enjoyed it.
Well, I certainly didn't expect that. Perhaps I misinterpreted your description. It's a nice poem, and I understand why the title is as it is, but I felt mislead. Honestly though, I don't see anything wrong with it. Not with the content or with the grammar. So kudos, you wrote a serious, honest, and deep poem.
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