Worst Case Scenario
No escape, there was no telling my tale without recounting the incident. Things turned one fateful September day; I had been seven for barely three months at the time. Every little scrap of detail about what happened that day, save about twenty minutes between leaving school and arriving home, lay preserved in my mind. After pestering my mother for weeks and promising I’d be sensible, I had been allowed to walk home by myself.
Knocking briskly on the door, I absent-mindedly tapped out a rhythm with my foot as I waited to be let in. I had been distracted today, partly with anticipation but there was something else just off that I was still unable to pinpoint. This ‘off’ feeling had followed me around like a second shadow all day so I was eager to get inside, home at last. It plagued me, colder than the crisp autumn air I was breathing. The latch came off with a click and I emerged from my thoughts to step inside and put down my coat, shoes and bag.
Before I had a chance to get beyond dropping the bag, Mum said, “I thought you’d be home earlier - what were you doing?”
I glanced up at the hall clock, it was later than I’d expected but only five minutes or so; not much.
“I walked slowly”, I replied hopefully. We both knew I couldn’t have gotten lost.
‘It was only five minutes, what’s the worst that could happen?’ argued Mercy, who had seemed atypically subdued for a while.
“Layla.” Mum used that low assertive tone that meant she was having none of it. She bent down on one knee to be at my eye level, her face a blank mask, staring but not seeing. “Have you seen your hands?” she asked calmly, in a way that suggested she was anything but calm.
Tilting my head down, it was my turn to be shocked upon laying eyes on them. They were stained with a horrid, viscous red liquid that smelt as rancid as it looked. No prizes for guessing what it could be. I let out an ear piercing scream and fled upstairs, where I shut myself in the bathroom, spending a gruelling ten minutes washing my hands until it felt like they might be washed away with the stain.
My mother’s voice could be heard through the door as she tapped on it. “Open up, Layla”, she pleaded shakily. “You have to talk to me.”
The next day the window panes were awash with rain, through them I could make out bulbous grey rain clouds that showed no sign of the downpour alleviating. I felt as miserable as the weather and at the same time concerned by the fact that I honestly had no idea how I ended up in the state I did yesterday. I sat cross-legged on my bed, withdrawn to my thoughts. Nothing was growing any clearer, not even after strong words with Mercy. My brain was alert as I tried to remember, but any attempts at recollection came to no avail. Well and truly in the dark, I gave up and began edging my way gingerly toward the stairs. That was when the doorbell rang.
Like a cat whose tail has been stepped on I scooted back upstairs, lingering on the landing to observe. The door was answered promptly, as if my mother had been expecting it to go. I grew even more keen to watch. Inside stepped a raven haired woman dressed quite smartly, one might even have called it chic - even from my post I saw not a wrinkle or crease in her clothes. Noting this, I began watching their actions, they spoke a little and shook hands. Not very well acquainted then. Still facing each other they brought the discussion to the foot of the stairs; the dark haired lady closest, her foot on the bottom step.
Mum came into earshot “... been upstairs in her room for the most part. Poor thing has been trying to remember but she’s blocked it completely.” My heart skipped a beat; I remained rooted to the spot in terror. I was the subject of their discussion. It was me she’d come for.
Creak!
Mercy acted as trigger, ‘Go’, she urged, ‘don’t start by getting caught eavesdropping’. This push sent me scrambling to my bedroom. I flung the door shut behind me but it snagged on the carpet, staying stubbornly half open.
Creak, creak, creak! “Okay, Ms Truman, that’s perfectly normal. I’ll take it from here." She was closer now. I detected a soft accent, British I think.
Meanwhile I had come to rest at my bookcase. I picked up a discarded book and studied it a moment, an Enid Blyton – now where would that go? There was a gap in the shelf above it so it was there I deduced it belonged.
Knock, knock! The door.
“It’s already open”, I said sourly, trying to replace the book but, try as I might, it wouldn’t fit.
‘Tell me about it’ Mercy groaned.
“Hello. I’m Harriet”, the stranger introduced herself; in her hands she clutched a copy of today’s paper.
“Layla” I replied as breezily as I could manage, “pleased to meet you”.
“How are you?” she enquired, seating herself on the edge of my bed. “Tell me about what happened yesterday”, she continued gently.
My reply was more brusque than I’d intended. “I don’t know what happened to my hands.”
I joined her on the bed, drawing my knees up protectively. I did not trust this Harriet woman.
“Did you come up here to show me the paper?” I demanded, again more forcefully than intended. They were my words but someone appeared to be changing the tone.
“As a matter of fact I did. Would you like to see?” asked Harriet, still calm.
“Oh go on then”, I assented.
I released my knees and took the tabloid from her outstretched hand, spreading it on my pillow to inspect. Lying on my stomach I cast my eyes to the article, running my finger over the print as I followed it. Underneath the headline was an image, it showed a man in his late thirties sprawled on the ground beaten, bruised and bloodied. He had scratch marks all over. One look at the angle of his neck told me he’d died then and there. Snapping my head up and handing the paper back wordlessly I observed the woman as she observed me.
“I’m guessing you saw the picture”, she remarked, “what about the street corner- did you recognise it?”
I thought for a second then nodded in response.
“It’s on my way home from school”, I informed her. “On my way home”, I murmured. The conversation stopped dead for a beat, I felt numb as I realised why she’d come. Good! I didn’t want to feel the net of possibilities closing in. I was going to be sick.
I gasped. “You don’t think… I had anything to do with this do you?” It was the very thing she’d come to ask and here I was posing the question to her.
It must have sounded rhetorical for she posed her own. “Shall I tell you about why I’m here and why I showed you the article?”
“I assumed you were investigating that poor man.”
She shook her head, not a hair out of place. “I’m not with the police Layla, I’m a doctor.”
“I’m not sick”, I spluttered defensively.
Her response was two words but it spoke volumes, “Define sick.”
Mercy worked it out quickly, ‘Shrink!’ she cried, ‘a visit from a shrink is a very bad sign’.
My alter ego gradually worked herself up into a panic and, from experience, was liable to turn violently at any moment. Before I had time to think any more it was Mercy reacting, Mercy screaming at her to get out.
‘You call this helping?’ I objected angrily.
It didn’t help.
Wishing I’d known then what I now knew, wishing I’d had just a little more control. Forget it! It wasn’t going to save me now nor was what I could recall going to change. It was one of those things, seven more years had changed me a lot but memories never change. Slumped on the floor in the padded cell that had been my home with a different doctor, Doctor Aiden, looming over me, brandishing that very same newspaper clipping, it was no different.
“Nooooooo!!, I swear I didn’t do it” I sobbed, crumpling into a ball, head in hands.
Mousy brown rat tails hung before my face, sticking to my tear-stained cheeks.
“Of course you didn’t my dear”, soothed Doctor Aiden, “so long as you have proof. I’ve…”
“Got me until I can produce some”, I finished for him, blinking back tears. The last tears, I told myself, he’d ever see me cry.
See! Nothing has changed. I have become nothing.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
The more reviews, the merrier, I suppose.
You've carried over your skill of psychological punches and well-delivered dialogue to create a wonderfully intense mood. It really is astounding.
There's nothing fundamentally wrong here, so I'll focus on fine details:
"Things turned one fateful September day" felt odd. It felt like there was a word missing. I would've put it as "Things took a turn," but it's just a style preference, so there's nothing major.
Remember commas. I'll assume you're knowledgeable enough to proofread for phrase separation, but it's still worth mentioning.
You might want to describe the feeling before Layla actually gets home. You're going from one feeling, ominousness, to relief, and back to ominousness. Flickering between these so quickly could throw off the reader.
I'm pretty sure "grueling" has one l.
"Mercy acted as trigger." I really don't get what you're trying to say here. Did you leave a word out?
There might be a few more, but all of these issues are easily fixed, and pose no real problem to the excellence of the story. It's still as intriguing as ever. Cheers!
-Chaser
he'd never see me cry.
Well that was really the only line I notice mistakes in and I not going to stretch this out because I want to read more and more I am going to read.
Nope, I meant "ever" XD
He'd never see me cry would be a separate sentence.
Thanks for the reviews! Meet my villain, Dr Aiden btw...
Hi Bella.
Here as requested to pick up from where I left off. I just finished reading chapter 1 so I can remember what this is all about!
Here goes.
I would make the first sentence of this chapter a paragraph on it’s own.
You’re writing seems much more refined in this chapter! I’m impressed with your improvement already! It’s already making me want to read more.
Maybe change Mercy’s writing a little - to make it still known to the reader that no one else can hear her?
I think her asking if Harriet had come to show her the paper was a bit obvious. Maybe you could have said that Harriet slid the paper next to her on the bed and the headline caught Layla’s eye...as well as the photo
I think the introduction of a shrink is wise. It can begin to open up the possibilities of why Layla here’s Mercy. Is it a mental illness? Is it supernatural? I know I want to know!
I’ve read the other reviews on this piece and I agree with most of them! I think you’re description is really great. Like really great. You just need to check that you haven’t rushed it in some parts.
Go through it, read it aloud and check that you’re totally happy with it how it sounds.
On to the next!!
Olive <3
Thanks! This is only a draft.
It is terribly rushed in places...
Now I have the opposite problem XD
Holy shietcakes dooood! This is going to be powerful. You can place this story into the categories of psychology, supernatural, and horror. It seems to me that Layla is schizophrenic, but it's clearly more than just that. Comparing this to your first chapter, I see the differences in how you write. The differences are subtle, but you have grown.
Writer here to give a review!
Can I just say your word choice is brilliant?
On to nitpicks and such!
Hmm, so this sentence felt a little rushed, therefore it didn’t read right in my mind. I’m not sure if you want to make it less wordy or change it at all. Things like “scrap of detail and “between leaving schooling and arriving home” could be shortened and cut down to make the sentence less lengthy. Every detail would work just fine here, but I understand you want to be descriptive, so keep it if you want
Sorry for taking out an entire paragraph! I need to mention that you use ‘I’ quite excessively here, and the redundancy isn’t pleasant and sort of takes away from the story. Be careful with this, because it can sound like a robot at times, taking away from the narrator’s voice that you have so smartly laid out for us.
Not exactly sure what the purpose of the bolded portion is. If it was meant to be funny, I didn’t get the joke >.< It’s blood, right? Why the need for the last line? You can keep it, but that’s only my opinion. ^^
Ooh I love this description!! You are so good at this! Grr, why can’t I be the same? >.< I will say there is a punctuation issue. I would put “…windows were awash with rain, and through them…” just to better connect the sentence.
I think “even more keen” could be changed to “keener.” But it doesn’t have too.
and it’s NOT because I like the word “keener.”Hmm, again with the “more” part. It doesn’t sit right on the tongue ^^ I think “brusquer” sounds better here, but it’s up to you.
Whoa…this whole chapter is so good! So Layla is being accused of murdering someone, and I think Mercy forced her to do it…right? Gah I am a little confused, but it’s probably because I just got done learning Geometry *ick*. But I love your descriptions! They are so unique and very well done. I am so sorry for not having done this sooner :O I’ve just been busy and I’m glad you keep reminding me. You shouldn’t have to, I know >.< Please forgive me.
I’ll try and work in part 3 today or tomorrow. Great job!
~Writer
Thanks!
Weirdly, the computer wanted me to change more keen and more brusque. Guess you're on to something.
Ooh, you haven't seen much of Dr Aiden yet. He's the one at the end with the newspaper cutting... Someone for you to despise, the actual villain.
Hi Bella!
I'm back to continue reviewing your novel! This time I feel capable of actually leaving a review. I skimmed through the previous ones briefly, but as always, I apologise if I repeat anything myself.
So it seems like Harriet and her mother know something about her she doesn't. I do believe she was the one who killed that man, but I don't get how or why she would even do it. Her mother talks about blocking out memories, which I'm sure is what is happening to her. I can't wait for this little mystery to be revealed and for the truth to come out about that night. Hopefully it's something we're going to be able to see in future chapters!
After this, you cut to the next morning. But the thing is, she must've come out of the bathroom and shut herself in the bedroom. Maybe she ran straight there, rushing past her mother and refusing to come out. Maybe her mother caught her on the way there and managed to get some words out of her and tried to talk to her. Either way, I am sure whichever and whatever happens would be something interesting to the readers, and I know that I for one would like to know what happened. Maybe this is something you should that you should think about putting in there as something a little extra?
I've noticed that we're getting a lot of flashbacks in both of these first chapters, but we're not really getting much of what is happening in the present. Which means that for the present at the moment I feel like it's fairly disjointed and that we need to see a lot more of what is happening at the present. I don't know about future chapters, but maybe it's best if the whole thing was started from the past and skips a few years in the future? Or maybe we should have one whole chapter set in the past and then a whole chapter in the present. Either way, at the moment we're getting too much of the past which is making everything that happens in the present confusing and lost in awkward breaks.
When you switch from present to past tense, personally I feel like the main character's voice changes. And, seeing as it's supposedly the same person speaking both times, the voice shouldn't really alter at all. When you use words like 'See!' which you use in the last sentence of the chapter, it's almost like you're talking to the reader within the writing. I don't like that much because that is where the change in voice is occurring. Words like that is what should be removed so we get the same narrative tone (where the story is being read out like her life, not exactly to anyone) throughout every switch in tense.
I'm not sure if this is just me, but I don't get what is going on in the present tense. Is she in a cell where she has to stay locked up until she can prove she didn't murder that man? How can she prove anything without being released to go investigate clues and the such?
And if she is in a cell, one thing that would be nice is to have a better description of it. It's pretty much fleeting mentioned in there, but it would be nice to have one in there. Just a small thing to note ^.^
I think I have said everything that you might fine useful here! I'm going to carry on and read the next chapter. Keep this up
Deanie x
hehehe, liking my reviewssss
Okay, thanks for reviewing!
The next chapters have very few flashbacks and they have jumped ahead. Layla at the end, with the doctor in the cell, is 14-15.
As for the thing about her finding proof, it was more of a taunt, for the reason you mentioned. That's kind of what Dr Aiden is like; you'll find out more on him in the next chapters.
I hope you're enjoying it. See you next chapter.
Hi there!
That being said, I'll probably add some of my comments from the first chapter into this review just so I can get them in.
I was going to review the first chapter, but I decided not to since you already had so many great reviews. I didn't want to waste your time by repeating everything that had already been said
Just a quick nitpick here. I don't think it's really all that important that Layla was seven and three months. Just saying that she was seven years old is good enough, really.
Wow. All I can say is wow. These first two chapters have really hit me hard. Not that I've been in a situation like Layla's before, thank God, but just because of everything that had happened to her. I mean, we've all had an imaginary friend at one time or another, I'm sure. And the idea of imaginary friends is a good one, but here you completely tarnish the idea of imaginary friends. Obviously, that's going to shake up some of us.
I think the way you write this is very interesting and unique. I haven't seen anything written quite like this. Your novel is made up of, at least these first two chapters, memories. And it's interesting to see those small parts of what's going on in Layla's life now. It's like a memory, then part of the story, then a memory, then part of the story. This works really well in my opinion. I love it!
I couldn't find any spelling and grammar mistakes here, so good job with that.
I am very interested to learn more about Mercy. I know that she's the main focus of this story so far, but I feel like we don't know much about her. Maybe there'll be a time when we get a chapter that is focused entirely on Mercy. It's still very early in the novel so I'm just throwing ou what I think might happen. Mercy seems like a character that really needs to be focused on later on, so we can get a better idea about what she's doing and why. Sure she's just in Layla's head, but she's more than that. Oh, what a wonderful, manipulating story you've got here ^_^
Alrighty then, onto the next chapter!
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
There is a good sense of mystery here. Where does Layla live? Where is Layla now? To whom is she retelling these events? The way this is written is almost like a diary or journal. Eerie stuff. Good work.
Thanks a lot. I only just noticed your comment, sorry. Great to hear from you.
Timmmy here!
Yes, I know that I am just flitting all over the place with your book, but you gotta give me a break here, because at first I was just trying to get your piece out of the green room (you requested), after reviewing part 1, and now I am back to part 2, even though I was supposed to be doing part 4. Anyway, its confusing, but I hope you can sort it out. xD
Onto the review!
Okay. I will readily admit that in the previous chapters(and following chapters) I was uncertain about what Mercy was. I mean, I had no idea who she was. For some reason, I had this picture of a sheet, with a face carved into it, spouting off all of these words to Layla. I mean, I knew she wasn't an actual person, but I didn't know what she actually was. My fault for reading them out of order, I guess. Silly Timmy should have started at the beginning. Anywho, now that I know who she is, I just think she is a brilliant addition to your story. Anyone can have a best friend/enemy, but one that you are always stuck with, and is part of you? Just brilliant. Its wonderful how she really is the alter ego, but in some cases she isn't. I mean, I have never envisioned her as the opposite of Layla, but more like an accomplice trying to help her obtain her goal--present or future. She is more like a guardian of words, counseling her in everything she does, and sometimes adding in some sarcastic remark. I envision her as a guardian of some sort. A verbal guardian.
Comma after "door"
comma after "bag"
You have a poor sentence connector here. I would suggest putting a "but" before "we", which would fix that right up!
Comma after "down"
Comma after "remember"
Okay, so I don't think it would be any help for me to pull out each little comma error you have here. That would be slandering a piece as lovely as this, and in the long run, it wouldn't be that much of a help. Instead, I will just talk about it for a momento.
Commas are periods of stopping, a slowing down of the sentence, where you continue on afterwards, with a continuation of the same idea--but still using the same idea, just extrapolating it farther. What you need to do is read it out-loud sometimes. I know it sounds silly and unnecessary, but trust me, it helps. When you read something aloud, something clicks in you, making you automatically stop when you need to when the places where commas belong come up. So read your work out-loud, and keep writing. Just keep writing. Because after a while, even without knowing grammar and punctuation rules, you will just know when to stop. It just clicks over one day.
But still, a link to help you... I know this might not be very helpful, but here is the link anyway.]
So I hope that helps you out somewhat. Doing commas properly can be hard at first, but it comes easier. Just remember. The key is to keep writing. Rules will come in time.
As a whole, I loved this chapter. It flowed well, and the characterization was simply amazing. I love how you don't just do a narration of the story, which many writers do, and doesn't work very well. You give us emotions, feelings of your character, which moves the story along and your character along, and gives a solid description of the inside and motives of your character. A story is nothing without a deep character. A person that you can see with your mind and heart, just as much with your eyes. A person you feel for, and understand. A person who could be your friend.
Keep going with this! I'm on to chapter three!
~Darth Timmyjake
Thanks, you helped me pick out a few that I missed. I hope you're less confused now you're reading them in order.
Okay, I got around to this too. I got most of the errors.
Now I'm happy with my work.
Hello again love! Boy, oh boy, this chapter was so much better than the first, and if you keep improving at this rate, you're going to be absolutely phenomenal by the end of the story, and I do mean that. I'm even more excited about carrying on reading this story after reading this chapter.
I didn't have any nitpicks, which isn't to say that this was perfect, but there were no things that were technical problems that seriously leapt out at me. Stella's already directed you to the dialogue tutorial (if you haven't already, make sure you read it. It's rather fab, and it helped me out with my own punctuation - I knew the basics but not the fiddly bits, which the article goes through so well). I'll just reiterate my point about not being afraid to use commas (hyphens are also pretty awesome) to show the pauses. This wasn't such a problem this time around, but there was the odd sentence that could have done with it.
I think a general suggestion would be that you shouldn't be afraid to go into detail about situations. Your chapters are short enough that you can afford to do this without having to change the way your plot is cut up. Remember you can always thin the detail down in later drafts, but early on, it doesn't hurt to overdo it a little to help yourself get to know your characters better. I'm not suggesting info-dumping, no way, rather try having more descriptions, dialogue, action, emotions. At the moment what you're writing is really interesting, but I want to know more!
What else to say? I think you've used flasback really well, and it is working very effectively. As much as I want to find out about Layla's current situation, I am enjoying the dives into her past - you're handling them really well so far. They add some great suspense, and they don't feel forced.
I don't have much more to mention for this that I didn't say in the review of the first chapter, especially in terms of positive feedback. Love what you've done so far, and I'm very glad I've adopted this novel!
Note to all. This may not make sense unless you have read 'Mercy'. Check it out on related works. Hope that helps a bit.
Hey! Stella here, nice to meet you!
If I'm honest, I really enjoyed this, far more than I thought I would! But as always on YWS we're looking for ways to improve, and I think I have a few pointers as to things that you could work on to make this better:
-first of all, in terms of mechanics, have a look at this article in the YWS knowledge base about how to punctuate dialogue. I know that punctuation is a super-dull topic, but honestly once you learn this you never forget it and it goes a long way in making your story seem more polished and professional, not to mention easier to read! Please have a look at the article and try and punctuate your dialogue better next time - if you got that down and nothing else from the review, I would be so delighted! It's tricky, but it's well worth it.
-I think that you'd be better off leaving out the flashforward at the beginning, and instead using the italicised part as the main part of the story. Act as if Layla isn't looking back at this moment, but write it as if that's just a part of the story. I think that would make things more suspenseful - and then at the end, when you mention where she currently is, it'll pack more of a punch.
-I think that the blood needs more description. I know, how morbid is that?! But I think you should explain - is it on her clothes? Her face? Or just her hands? And more importantly, does she have cuts anywhere herself? When does she make the realisation that perhaps this is somebody else's blood? I think that needs to be stated explicitly as well, it'll really lend the whole thing a sense of dread.
-Mercy is creepy as heck. I love her! But I think she also needs to be mentioned earlier on - what is seven-year-old Layla's impression of her? An alter ego, a friend, what? And then later, I think I'd also like to see a mention of her in the flash forward. Mainly I just think that you sort of forgot about her a little bit at the beginning and had the title not been what it was I wouldn't have really understood who she was or what she was doing.
But overall, nice job!
Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!
-Stella x
Dialogue is probably my weakness. In English we're encouraged to lay off it so we've not been properly shown how to punctuate it. This is also a dialogue heavy chapter. My last one wasn't.
Also with regards to Mercy I mentioned her less as in some chapters she's meant to be 'in your face'. Do you agree that it's less meaningful if I constantly do that.
Oh I'm really sorry, I thought this was a beginning of a piece! In that case, if you've mentioned Mercy before, then you're probably okay
I'm going to go off and read the other chapter now! x
i think i like it but not alot i think it is to drastic
I knew where I wanted Layla to end up, my villain is centred around the asylum. Something big had to happen or there would be no reason to have her there. I did wonder what people will think.
"The latch came off with a click and I emerged from my thoughts to step inside and put down my coat, shoes and bag. Before I had a chance to get beyond dropping the bag Mum said “I thought you’d be home earlier - what were you doing?”" - Take a new paragraph before someone speaks and also put a comma before the speech.
"The next day the window panes were awash with rain, through them I could make out bulbous grey rainclouds that showed no sign of the downpour alleviating." - New sentence at 'through' and 'rain clouds' is two words. I only know that because my browser just put a red line under it
"ended up in the state I did yesterday I sat cross-legged on my bed," - new sentence at 'I sat'
"Well and truly in the dark; I gave up and began edging my way gingerly toward the stairs." - Semi-colons have to have clauses that could stand on their own as sentences. This semi-colon would therefore have to just be a comma.
"Creak, creak, creak!" - because this whole section is in italics, the sounds have to be in regular non-italic (?) text.
"trying to replace the book but try as I might it wouldn’t fit. ‘Tell me about it’ Mercy groaned." - I'm not sure I understand what Mercy means here. Is it about the book or about the fact that somebody wants to come into Layla's room?
"“you don’t think… I had anything to do with this do you?”" - you forgot the capital letter at the start of this speech.
"Mousy brown rats tails" - either an inverted comma after rats or just take away the s altogether. It would work fine as rat tails.
Okay, onto plot stuff.
I am extremely intrigued by the idea that the main character seems completely unaware of some parts of her life. For my recent English exam I studied a book with an unreliable narrator and I am getting the seem unsure feeling from reading through Layla. I also thought Mercy was excellently put across and realistic.
The only slight problem was occasionally the flow. It either flowed really well or I got confused. I can't tell you how many times I've had people telling me they've got confused by my sentence structure. All you can do is just read it over and over and if there are any sentences that are maybe particularly long or you get lost in, I'd just half them down the middle. That seems to work ok for me.
Well done!
Minor question. Did you read the first part. It was called 'Mercy' and was probably better than this one. I know it's far from perfect and I'm going to edit it ASAP
Oh no I haven't. In fact, I assumed this was the first part. I'l have a look sometime
Also bear in mind that later on I might re-order the chapters. I haven't got it completely organised yet. At least I didn't totally screw it up.
Watch this space!
When it was in there the book thing with "tell me about it" was more symbolic than anything else. I meant about how Layla isn't 'normal'. It wasn't really meant to be taken at face value, that's just me looking really deeply though so I've cut some of it out for now.
When it was in there the book thing with "tell me about it" was more symbolic than anything else. I meant about how Layla isn't 'normal'. It wasn't really meant to be taken at face value, that's just me looking really deeply though so I've cut some of it out for now.
Sorry I didn't see this. Ok I understand now
Sorry if it seems a bit drastic. You can probably expect an edit later on but this is my best draft so far.
Enjoy