It's So Hard

by WritingWolf

Published February 25, 2015

12+ Language

In Stuff from a while ago

Quick smiles,
averting a glance,
kind words,
enjoying the dance.

An undeniable
feeling is starting
somewhere deep
as we're parting.

Quick laughs,
a gentle touch,
compliments,
and things as such.

Every week
it's the same.
I want, I can't.
Damn cupid's aim.

It's so hard not
to fall in love.
I want it to
stop, kind of.

Comments & reviews · 6
rachellecarter wrote a review Review · Feb 26, 2015

That was precious! I do believe that you have captured the complete essence of having a crush of a first love. I was impressed by how well written this is. It is the perfect length. I don't know of a way to improve except make it longer (Although, as I said before the length is great, so you don't have to take that suggestion seriously).
Good job!

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oldsoul
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oldsoul commented Comment · Feb 26, 2015

I simply jus love it im not even goin to say anythin about grammar punctuation or nonr of that this poem is so relatable and I love the concept of it I jus love ut nothing else to say

Keep writing ill reslly like to see morenof ur work n go check out mine too if u wsnt

-oldsoulxoxo <3 !!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hope19
Review
Hope19 wrote a review Review · Feb 26, 2015

Hey! I found the title to be very interesting. I also enjoyed the description.
Well, to start, you need to work on your capitalization. If you want to write, that very important. You may take poetry as a hobby, that's fine. I don't know you, so...
I liked the concept of the poem. Falling in love is very complicated. I hate it, but at the same time I love it. You said in your first line. " Quick smiles." I see it as those quick smiles you and the one you love give each other. They may be quick, but they are so beautiful and special. Third line, " Kind words ", it makes me think of everything he ever told me. Words can be so beautiful. A feeling is starting deep inside is so true. That feeling seems to start after all those smiles and kind words. The laughs , the touch, and the compliments are so wonderful with those feelings. Then you realize everything you want, you can't have. Since you can't have it, you want it more. That part really is the bummer. :(. Cupid part is cute. Cupid can be very stupid at love though. Who hired him anyway? :D. It is indeed hard, but one day it will love will work out. The hardest part is waiting. I really enjoyed this piece. Keep writing! :)

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SkyeWalker
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SkyeWalker wrote a review Review · Feb 25, 2015

Okay! Zhia here for wonderful review of your wonderful poem! I hope I don't misinterpret, like so many people do with poems. XD

What I LOVE: This stanza:

Every week
it's the same.
I want, I can't.
Damn cupid's aim.


I just love this stanza. It's brilliant, and it made me laugh out loud the first time I read it, and then the second I wasn't exactly sure if I should have. But THIS STANZA PEOPLE. IT'S AMAZING. :D

What I LIKE: The lines are short, and the poem is short. But using short lines makes it seem longer than it really is, and I like that! :D

What I DON'T LIKE: Okay. I was hoping not to put anything here, but a good critique always has to have an "IMPROVE ON" section, so here's my problem:

It's so hard not
to fall in love.
I want it to
stop, kind of.


Okay: hold up. in the 3rd line, it feels like an uncompleted thought. You try so hard to keep the rhythm together that you have an, again, uncompleted thought in the wrong place. "I want it to---" As the picky mothership would say, "finish the story, man!" Even though you do in the next line, It feels cut off and I don't like that. (It this adequate for a critique? I feel like I should explain the parts you need to work on more than the parts you DON'T need to work on. )

This was Zhia for a HOPEFULLY brilliant and equally helpful review! Hope you find me a good reviewer! :D

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EssaFreedom Comment
EssaFreedom commented Comment · Feb 25, 2015

Hey, WrightingWolf! Sorry if this is no good, I'm new on this website. Anyways, I like the was the words flow. The topic is something many people can relate to as well. The little bit of rhyme is perfect. And it's short but not too short which is great. I will say that this is from my point of view though.

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Konijn
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Konijn wrote a review Review · Feb 25, 2015

Tigerlilly here for a review!

I really connected with this poem! I feel like a lot of people can be scared to fall in love, no matter how much they want to. It was really nice, and I love the way it flows together! I like the last stanza the best, because you mentally want to stop falling, but your heart wont let you. As far as problems, I don't see any. It is a great piece and I look forward to seeing more of your work! :D



perceive me if you want to, i will exist regardless
— soundofmind