Sorceress: Chapter 8

by TheCrimsonLady

Published June 28, 2014

12+ Violence

In Unimportant

-Aurora-

I listen to make sure that no one is approaching, and upon being reassured that I am alone, set to work.

I try to loosen my bonds by chewing on them. When that doesn't work, I slump to the ground, tired. Slowly, I try to stand. After falling over a few times, I finally get the hang of it and inch my way towards the tent flap. Thump. I fall over yet again when my foot strikes a metallic object, hidden away underneath the chaotic room. I reach towards where I hit my foot and feel for anything sharp. I grasp the hilt of a sword and pull it free, tumbling backwards. I manage- barely- to sit up again, and set to work sawing the rope that holds my feet together apart. Still, I have no balance, and when I nearly slice my foot off, I grow more careful.

Slowly, the ropes fray as the sharp edge of the sword slides against them. Suddenly, the ropes slice open, and I lose my balance. This time, the sword takes an inch of my flesh with it as I yank it away from my skin.

It takes all of my willpower to keep from howling in pain. The fresh wound on my calf pours blood. Even if I succeed in escaping, I'll be leaving a bloody trail behind me. Slowly, I press my fingers to the wound and let out a yelp. A burning pain spreads throughout my leg until the entire thing aches. Keep going, I tell myself. This is the biggest chance to escape you'll ever get. I close my eyes to the pain and work on getting my hands free. Securing the sword between my knees, I slit the rope on the sword's blade. The bonds fall apart, and I try to stand, wincing. My cut is still pouring, and since I haven't had blood in days, I don't heal as quickly as I should. My feet are asleep, and after stomping them on the icy ground a few times, I draw the tent flap back a centimeter to peer out.

The camp is a flurry of activity. Everywhere I look, there is some sort of fighting going on. The trees rustle in the faint wind, and although I might make it if I run for it, I can't leave Ceressa and Nathan behind. I growl in anger and kick a stone. Sitting down, I take a deep breath and think.

For whatever reason, your wound isn't closing. You need to bind it, or you'll be out cold in a few minutes.

I find one of Daniel's shirts and tear a strip of it off at the bottom. Tying it around my ankle, I survey the room for anything else that might help me. I look at Daniel's knife collection and then glance at the sword in my hand. I could use a sword, but with the memories I had now, there was no contest. I was better with a knife now than I could ever be with a sword. Slowly, I walk to the knife display. I take the two longest, thinnest ones. My dress has nowhere to hide them, so I grip them in my hands, nervously spinning them around. What I need is a distraction. But where to find one?

The gods take pity on my predicament then. A low rumble sounds from the hills, and I smile. I know what this means. Ice dragon attack! Normally, I would be running away, screaming, but right now, this is exactly what I need.

Sure enough, I hear gusts of wind, and a roar. The ground shudders as it lands, and I take that moment to lunge out of the tent and hit the ground running. No one takes notice of me except Arianna, who looks at me, then the dragon, and turns to face the dragon. I plunge into one of the tents, and seeing no one, keep going. finally, on my third tent or so, I see Ci and Nate. They are trying to undo each other's ropes, but with no success. Ci starts to ask me something, but I shush her and cut their bonds. Both stand up, wincing. The ice dragon roars again from outside, and we step out of the tent. Ceressa takes off first, heading for the main gate. Unfortunately, the dragon sees her moving and lands in front of the gate. Great. Just great. She comes back, but now the assassins have caught sight of us. An eighth of them peel off and run directly at us. We take off in the opposite direction.

"Go over the wall!" I shout to Nate, hoping he understands. He nods, and tells Ci. As soon as we reach the wall, he gives her a boost. She clambers over and lands on the other side. Nate starts to give me a boost as well, but then I realize that I've lost my ring. The one that marks me as princess. I curse, and turn around. Confused, our pursuers scatter as I approach. Ducking into Daniel's tent, I scan the ground. There! Lunging for my ring, I cut a hasty exit through one of the walls and head for the back walls. I somehow find the strength to pull my self up and jump down. My injured leg shakes as I jump down on the other side, and I stumble from the sharp pain in my ankle. I catch sight of Ci and Nate looking for me. When they see me, I signal for them to be quiet. I take a step in one direction, and pain flares in my stomach. Wrong way, apparently. I take a step towards the woods in front of us, and nothing happens. Signaling for Nate and Ci to follow me, I step into the woods. Thank god, we're finally free.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
r4p17
Review
r4p17 wrote a review Review · Jun 29, 2014

Knight r4 here to review this work for review day Aurora. I certainly hope this help you!

Slowly, the ropes fray as the sharp edge of the sword slides against them.
Just for the record, it is almost impossible to cut rope with a sword. Not that I have tried to do so but I think that it would be rather impractical. You may want to change this to a dagger. It is also unlikely that whoever captured her would only tie her feet. And wouldn't they somehow guard her. The guard should hear the thumps.

I look at Daniel's knife collection and then glance at the sword in my hand.
Okay, this is really unrealistic. Would her captors just leave a sword and knife collection lying around for here to free herself. It seems like they want here to escape at this point.

heading for the main gate.
So when you are trying to escape you head for the main gate right. Uh, no. This doesn't make sense. I am so confused.

Finally I think the last thing I would worry about at that point is my ring. I know it shows she is princess and all but I think I would get to safety first and then worry about the ring. And what happened to the assassins all of a sudden they seem to disappear from the scene.

Overall your writing was good but none of it made any sense. I mean you never came back to the ice dragon. It along with the assassins just fades into the backround. You need to explain how that happened. I my opnion the whole story was unrealistic. Sorry for the bad review. Happy writing!!! :D

User avatar
rawrafied
Review
rawrafied wrote a review Review · Jun 29, 2014

'Ello~~~! Rawrafied here, representing team Rugido Sol. I must admit, I have not had the pleasure of reading your previous works, so I shall not comment on logic. I'm going to go line by line and comment on anything that catches my eye, okay? :3

I fall over yet again when my foot strikes a metallic object, hidden away underneath the chaotic room.
I wish you could describe how she knows it's a metallic object by the way she hit it of the after effect. I don't know if she's wearing shoes or not and she's already mentioned it's hidden so she shouldn't know immediately

I manage- barely- to sit up again, and set to work sawing the rope that holds my feet together apart.
Incorrect interrupting hyphen usage. There should be one space BEFORE and after. Also, I wish you should show her struggle to sit up, like you did before with her previous struggles, rather than cop out and just use 'barely'.

Still, I have no balance, and when I nearly slice my foot off, I grow more careful.
Granted, I don't know you character that well since I haven read anything previously, but I wouldn't be so nonchalant if that almost happen to me. O_O

Slowly, the ropes fray as the sharp edge of the sword slides against them. Suddenly, the ropes slice open, and I lose my balance.
These sentences star off way to similarly they it's rather redundant and 'suddenly' has not real effect here. You could easily avoid that be removing 'suddenly'.

This time, the sword takes an inch of my flesh with it as I yank it away from my skin.
This beginning and ending to this sentence is discontinuous. I'm lead to believe she just randomly took a chuck off her flesh, but by 'this time' I'm assuming in must have gotten caught and that's why she yanked it away. But where's the part where it even hit her?

The fresh wound on my calf pours blood.
'Blood' is redundant here. What else would poor?

I wish I could see more of your character's personality in the writing.

I'm going to stop here. Hope this was helpful. Best of luck with this piece.



"would you still love me if i was a worm" yeah babe i would AND id get you your own compost bin so we could enter gardening competitions together
— Corvid