Young Writers Society

Hey there! So I actually mistakenly originally read this as a piece of prose, thinking it was an indie-style prologue to a story about a princess... which it wasn't. But maybe that says something about the poetic quality of the poem.

I'm not a poet so my opinion probably isn't worth much but I'll give this a shot! Basically, I think that your flow is a little bit funny. As I said, it's very prosaic. There doesn't seem to be much heed given to line length or rhythm or rhyme- not that poems have to rhyme, but all the same. You do want it to resemble a poem.

A lot of the lines were short sentences or ended in a semi-colon, which is why it had that sort of flat feeling. How can you improve that flow? Do you want all the lines to be short and curt, or do you want them to flow along while you create an image? What about the lines where you say what the princess is, "Weak" "Dependent" "Static." You could even break those up- static especially I think needs a full line to itself to give it that sense of STOP. STAY STILL. Or how about some of the longer lines? Like:

"Their bows are fired in the misguided hope that one such arrow may win them a greater prize than Honor: The Heart of this Princess, who gives herself to No One, and who is her own keeper."

That doesn't read like a stanza at all to me - how about you?

So I think you just need to work on the shape of this poem, make it read more smoothly, let us be engulfed in your words more.

As far as themes, I loved it. I write a lot about princesses, and I like the princess you create who is strong in her own right, who is on a throne, who is powerful and clever and who enjoys being a princess. I love how you subverted the idea of a princess from what we generally perceive as "princessy" to what, in reality, a princess could be- just as strong as any prince. I really really really loved that- it's a theme I spend a lot of time on myself.

Also, I love Avatar, although I'm not sure that Azula is the best example because as we all know she's a psychotic megalomaniac (but we love her anyway).

I don't think I've been much help here, but drop me a note if you need anything!

-Stella x

Knight Malachi here to review for KotGR
So I loved this poem. I liked what it was about, and how you completed the story. Going from what a princess usually is, and then switching to the things she should become, and doing it in order all the way to the top, was really cool. I liked the descriptive words you sued, and saw no errors, punctuation-wise or others. Good job.
Keep it up!

If you are a cartoon nerd then we can be great friends I love cartoons too!

So Umaima here to review your amazing poem!

Okay so I am going to start this review by giving you some positives that I felt in your poem, then I will say some negatives and then, finally will go to the conclusion part with maybe one or two tips. I hope the review helps you immensely!

Positives:

Let's start with the title. The title was suitable for the poem and worked well but of course it's kind of common. But again, I myself couldn't think of a better title for this poem so the title worked well!

Second, I liked your idea behind the poem. It's not usually that you see people making poems on cartoons. The poem was enjoyable and I had fun reading it.

Third, the word usage was amazing I loved how you wrote the poem and even though it didn't have rhyme, it was fun to read! Plus I couldn't find any punctuation and grammar mistakes!

Negatives:

First, the poem wasn't divided in stanzas. I think it wasn't so important but intervals in a poem makes it look like one!

Conclusion:

I liked the poem and felt it was one of a kind. Only the formatting of the poem made me think of a flaw but other than that everything seemed perfect.

Have a good day!

Umaima