Antigone's Critique Shop

I've got two! Well, it's mostly the second part that needs the review, but to understand it you'll need to read the first part first.

The story is about a girl whose best friend dies in a car crash, but comes back as a ghost. Along with starting to see ghosts, the girl is startled to realize that she can also read minds. Anyways, I'm giving away a lot.

The title of the story is A Ghostly Encounter, but that is just a working title. If you have any suggestions on a better one, feel free to suggest them!

And here are the links:

Part 1
Part 2

Please be as harsh as you like and thank you so much in advance!

Done with part one, Chocolate Writing Cat!

Hi! Well, you've reviewed something of mine before and I loved your reviews so here it is.


Title: Another Sunset: Chapter One Part Two
Genre: Other Fiction
Brief Summary: A girl's best friend's mom commits suicide. And yeah, she's trying to help and it's hard because she doesn't know how he feels because she's never experienced something like that before. Her best friend must decide if he wants to go live with his dad (his parents are divorced) or stay with his stepdad.
Link: topic44403.html

Thanks, if you get to it that would be great. It's probably the worst part so far, I thought the others were better so that's why I need a good review for it! Thanks!

Hi, Sakura! Could you please review these for me? I know I asked you before... but I re-did it!
Prologue, Part 1
Prologue, Part 2
Prologue, Part 3.

*Cookies*

Done, Colleen!

Onto Asxz!

I'll take another critique from the Wonderful World of Sakura


Title: Pride
Genre: Other Fiction
Summary: A man comes home from the military
Link: topic44545.html

I <3 you long time.

Done, RGhallager. Still working on it, Asxz.

Hey Haruno

Back again for another review

Title: Aela and The Leshy
Genre: Fantasy
Summary: It's for Rosey's elemental conest. I think the title sort of explains it lol It's about a curious girl!
Link: topic44692.html

Thank you!

'Tis done, Becki!

Hey, Haruno

Back for a review of the second part of my story.

Title: Aela and The Leshy Part Two
Genre: Fantasy
Link: topic44793.html

Thank you!

Done, Becki!

Anyone else?

I'm back. I started something new and I wanted to know what you thought. I did one edit but I'm sure there's more I could do.

Title: Breakdown: Prologue
Genre: Other Fiction
Link: topic44771.html

So if you could help I'd appreciate it!

Title: Stuck in the Past
Genre: Fantasy Fiction
Summary: Two girls chase after their dog when a rainstorm frightens him off. Ending at a old castle, they find out there's more there than meets the eye.
Link: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic44529.html

So, in word this is about 3 pages and four sentences. Hope it's not too long for you.

Thanks a bunch!

@;~ Saph

Hey Haruno!

Final part of Aela and The Leshy is up!

Title: Aela and The Leshy Part 3
Genre: Fantasy
Link: topic44878.html

The deadline for the entry is Monday night. Just to let you know

'Tis finished.

Anyone else?