nmk1128

Part 2 begins now! This chapter is good too. Same thing as before with formatting better. I think you add too much unnecessary details to your work; for example: "marble ...

Firstly, I'd like to say Merry Summer Christmas! lol. Alright so I'll begin. I think you really need to fix your layout because that's a big ol' chunk a text. ...

This is a pretty pretentious sonnet. The speaker is building themselves up and then self proclaiming their abilities. A sonnet consists of 140 syllables - 10 syllables a line because ...

Stella Thomas has a good point about the lack of development in the story. Any piece on love needs the reader to really care about the characters of interest. I ...

I agree with Blackwood. The title seems out of place, mostly because theres no ivy to be jealous. The first line is fierce and insulting. I like it. The second ...

This poem is very soft and nice. It gives a very lovely mother - daughter depiction. However, the longer lines seem choppy. For example, "Lay in bed, soft like petals ...

I think what you are doing in this piece is an interesting bit. However, it can be confusing to follow - especially transitioning between thoughts. I think slant verse would ...

Nice poem. However, the last three lines of your first two stanzas are a bit choppy. For example, "the rhyme scheme a mess" sounds sorta weird among your other lines. ...

This poem has nothing to do with propaganda :p The style and conversation between the two speakers is refreshing and I really enjoyed your creativity on that end; however, propaganda ...

The metaphor and theme of your poem are wonderful! However, your third and second line are a little choppy. The poem is great with several exceptions. One being the style ...

Your first line needs to be redone because you're giving a word and then it's definition which doesn't make much sense because of the lines that follow it - these ...

This is very sad and very intense and I guess it's suppose to be. I really like your first four lines. The next two get a little choppy - particularly ...

I like your topic because it's the type of thing that plagues people our age - I also being a teenager. I like the repetition of "Silly me" it really ...

So far it seems pretty interesting; however, the paragraph starting with "I stood" and ending with "tiny kitchen" needs some revision. The sentences sound choppy and you have commas going ...

It definitely get's a body curious, so good start there, but you're sentences, grammatically, are kind of poop. This is my edit of it, but you can revise yourself too: ...