Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
Oh how beautiful the calm water is, oh how clear and blue it looks from up here.... The helecopter skimed over the, waters of the Santa Cruz bay, while the family in the back looked out over the deep blue ocean, it was so calm it was like a table cloth with the ocasional stitch of white foam. How ever the family is not looking behind them, where a cloud of black smoke is issuing from the prepelar,however the piolet is and he is worried then a loud bang issuse from the whole aircract and like a stone it drops out of the sky, the family is screaming as they plumit to ward the once calm ocean then... SPLASH the craft hits the water with a tramendous impact, then water starts seeping through the floor boards adn the roof as they sink. then something hits the window hard cracking the glass the two children starr to cry the a dark shape slides past the window and then anouther slap hits the window and, water is spurting through the cracked glass now. the water is up to the familys knees, then the father sees the rolled back eyes and the pulled back gums of the 25 foot shark that hits the window again, and again then the whole window gives way and the mass of the crushing water and the deadly sea creater rush in to the once airborn craft, the screams of every one in the craft are sudenly silenced as the burning salt water fills there lungs. Now the full body of the shark is in the craft it swims lazily around its victims knowing it can take it's time with the kill. Then, with lightning quick movements it attacks, thewater is filled with red clouds of blood it goes on for only a few minuts then, the shark swims slowly away, leaving a mess of blood, detached lims and chunks of the air craft.
two young children play in a pool at a water park its the wave pool and they are out at the very back, they are bobing up and down in the artificial waves then the little boy goes under... and swims down to the very bottom where a crack starts to appear, he sticks his small pudgy finger down the crack, as he pulls it out the finger gets caught on a sharp little piece of plaster sticking out, the small drop of blood seeps out and then disipates into the cloronated water. He then swims to the surface but sa he rises he feels something brush up against his leg as he looks down he sees a huge shape sliding along the bottom of the pool then it starts to move upward, then in one huge leap it swallows the little boy whole, then it swims on to another lady, and bites off her leg she screams as she sinks to the bottom, in a funnel of blood, the little girl looks down and sees the blank staring eyes of the lady resting at the bottom of the pool still leaking blood. But then her form is coverd by a dark shape under neath her, the little girl screams for help but no one is coming to her aid every on has fled to the bank of the pool. Then the girl starts splashing and screaming then she is pull under, a bloody 30 seconds pass then all is still and the shape is gone, and all that is left is a arm floating on the surface of the water still oozing blood. Now it is all over the news "rougue shark eats its way into the sewage and is know attaking people all over Santa Cruz, and you are advised not to to go swimming any where not even in your own pool. No one is safe...
The day after the tragedy at the water park the little boy and girls perants where devestated, and there had also been several other attacks but none of them mattered that much to the press. What really had them intersted was a helecopter that had gone down about a week ago in the Santa Cruz bay, a local fisherman had found it after his line caught on a part of an already decomposing leg he had dove off his boat and searched the sunken wreck where he saw the mess that the huge animal had caused. He had gone strait to the local eye witness news and rep[orted what he saw they were able to bring up the whole craft the people that they found had sufferd sevire damage to their bodies but it was hard to tell what kind of animal had caused it, because they were on there way to decomposition. Then about the man who had gone down in a shark cage to study them and had never come up the only thing left was his scuba mask; however there was a gaping hole in the cage which sugested that a massive body had shoved itas way through the cage and taken the scuba diver with it when it left; then the wo paddle boarders who where on there way accross the bay when it happened the monsterous shark attacked, there was nothing left not even a paddle.
The news has apieled to the marine center, the marie bioligists think it is an ocianic white tip, however they are not sure why it is coming in so close to shore, they are a mid atlantic shark that clean up the trash in the ocean like sunken ships and fallen planes; however the glimpses that people have been seeing of this elusive animal has the markings of the ocianic white tip.
the plane has been flying for over 10 hours now,the lights have been turned off and everyone is a sleep or watching a movie on their personalized screens. Christophe Bertrand is a sleep in his first class seat at the front the marine biologist was called away from his Paris flat this morning to investigate shark attacks that have been happening for the last few weeks, the meyer of Santa Cruz had called begging him for help. He had agreed and left imedialtly, and now he was a sleep, but not for long... at about 3:30am, in the morning Christophe was woken with a high pitch siren and the Captians voice ringing through out the plane "ladies and getlemen, we are having some problems if you would calmley put on your life jackets they are located under your seat and put on your mask's"
"fuck" Christophe thought, just what i need, the plane began to dip, nose first toward the waiting water. The flight attendants began to scream, then with a jaw rateling impact the plane hit the water.
The window's began to crack with the water pressure, then red flashing lights came on and the plane began to fill with water. Christophe pulled on his life jacket; and jumped out of the sinking plane. The water was like ice, the he began to sink he looked at his life jacket and saw a punter mark, "holy shit" he yells, "somebody, help me" then, becauseof the freezing water his limbes went numb, he began to panick; then, he sliped under the water. The last thing he saw, were flashing red lights, and debree from the plane.Then he felt something brush his leg....Then he looked down but it was to dark to see, but he felt the pain from his foot then, the already dark darkness became even darker, then he felt a pain like no other around his neck, then everything went black.
The meyer of Santa Cruz was in a fit of terror, 5 more attacks had happend since he phoned Christophe which had been 3 days ago... he should have been there 2 days earlier. The attacks had come in sequancess there was an attack, then 3 days of peace then an attack, it was almost the animal was luring them into a sense of sacurity.
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as you guys can see i have changed everything because i hated it i hope you guys like this one because i am not changing it again
I like this story, but some of your grammar and spelling needs a bit of a touch up. Also, I'm quite curious about the plot. I mean, I know it's about a crazy girl and everything, but I think you should add more "oomf" to the summary. That way, you can have more reviews and stuff. Seriously though, I really really like this. Can't wait for the next chapter to come out!
That is really good it defiantly has me interested and I enjoyed this alot
It definitely get's a body curious, so good start there, but you're sentences, grammatically, are kind of poop. This is my edit of it, but you can revise yourself too:
It was a beautiful day in in Oakwood Main, where the sun baked house's lay on their parched lawns - there had been a ban on sprinklers that year, but still late at night you could here the splash of water on the hardened asphalt. Sooner or later that stopped and the night would become silent again, silent as the the house where "that" girl lives; every day at around 5:00 AM the girl would run around the block then shut and lock all seven of the locks on the door and know one would see her until the next morning.
It's probably not perfect, but I cleaned it up a bit - it is your work, so you don't have to take any of my advise. I would also suggest being more descriptive - it will make it more engrossing for the reader.
this is just a test i may be changing everything
Please don't change anything in the future! I really like this!
as you guys can see i have completely changed the story because i did not like it i hope you like this one because i wont be changing it again!!!