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141,261 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
The poem is very soft and graceful. It shows that the moment which inspired you to write this is a lovely one. You have a few spelling issues and the longer lines kind of ruin the flow. But otherwise it's a cute poem.
Good job! I look forward to read more of your works.
This poem is very soft and nice. It gives a very lovely mother - daughter depiction. However, the longer lines seem choppy. For example, "Lay in bed, soft like petals of a rose" would sound a lot better as "Lay in bed, soft like rose petals." Your next long line is the same way. It sounds awkward and ruins the gentleness of the poem, in my opinion. Your first long line is wonderful though. I really like the wording. At the latter half of the poem I would suggest spacing it to separate the mother's words and her daughter's. Also, the parentheses around 'sleep tight' aren't needed.
Well, its a poem about me and my boyfriend not my mother but I get where you are coming from on that along with the flow of my wording. I didn't think I needed the quotes (these are parentheses) but looking back I felt since I put it around the first part of him speaking I should add it around the second part too. Thanks for the input!
This is so cute! Really nice work, there were a few little spelling issues. You missed an apostraphe in "I'll" in the 8th line. In my opinion, not breaking the poem into stanzas worked well for this poem, because you did well sticking to a theme, tone, and moment, so no need to change the stanza. The ending also concluded the piece well.
Great job! And welcome to Young Writers Society, I hope to read more of your work in the future!
expert reviewer,
~alliyah~
I really love how this is written.
I admire the fact that a day with your loved one inspired this! When I was reading this, I began to get chills.
Your writing is amazing!
The emotion in this poem is so strong, it makes me want to cry! This is a work of art and words cannot describe the true beauty that is staring me in the face!
This is really sweet. ❤
The flow of this poem is overall very nice. Well done with that. I like your metaphor 'Lay in bed, soft like petals of a rose'. To me, that helps with painting the picture.
Overall, I thought you did a nice job! Well done!