Young Writers Society

This speech is promising, giving people a chance to think about you. Sure some people will support your cause, others will feel that trump is doing correctly. I am sure you know a lot about the Trump Era. (He is like a monster who is swallowing peace). someone will read this and figure out that he is not alone and then there will be a movement. Changes across the world happen when someone gives fuel. For example France protest on fuel prices, it started when someone commented on facebook.

Hey there seekingthetruth and welcome to YWS.

A quick note is that you have a few formatting shifts of too many spaces. I'm guessing that'll be put down to the issues with copying things over to the publishing center.

This is a difficult piece to look at because I see that you have a rather split audience. You want this message to be spread to the voting audience as the promises of the theoretical candidate. And then you're wanting to inspire someone from the audience to be this theoretical candidate. The directness of the title and the content as a description of the person you need to find for the 'perfect' candidate is a little bit concerning.

I'm not talking in terms of political opinions. I am not sharing my political opinion, but you obviously are in the piece which is centered around the elimination of Donald Trump for office. in some of the promises that you have the candidate making, their one promise is relating to the use of twitter. I'm not sure if you're meaning this ironically or unironically because that flips the tone of the piece back and forth.

One thing to remember about speeches is how you need to be very particular about your word choice. If the speaker is making a jab at the other candidate's usage of twitter, that might spark something in some of the audience members. But then other audience members are going to object to the method of attacking another person. While you are meaning for the words to be taken in one way, there is high chance with wording like this that an audience member will be taking it another way.

That's more advice in the vein of going forward and general advisement to make about speech writing. Within the content of this speech, it failed to get my attention. While I understand what the candidate is trying to go for and I understand their frustration with the political climate, there's nothing in their speech that is clicking for me.

The slogan for the campaign comes at the very end but the style of this slogan brings back the wording issues from earlier on. "America will rise again." is something that can be taken to be very patriotic, but then you might come to the question of how patriotic will it be? Could this potentially strike up the band with the issue of nationalism? How far might someone taken this slogan and how might the phrasing play onto the effectiveness of the rest of the speech?
So maybe if the slogan is introduced earlier and it's not introduced in such a dramatic way, it might work in better for what the audience is seeing.

This is a good concept but you do need a lot of work to form it into something more.
Good luck with your writing going forward.
- Jack

HI, it's Gigi again with another review

I'm not one for politics, but your title drew me to read this. I admit, I was a little surprised when I saw it. Your title made it seem like this was going to be humorous, and not serious. So in this review, I will not be giving my political interpretation, I will attempt to keep this on a strick writing path. Here we go..

You did well with your spelling, capitalization, and punctuation. I do think that you should be a little careful what you say about he current president...we may not like him, but we still have to respect him. Just a thought. I'm going to close this out before I start getting political...

Anyways, Keep Writing!

~Gigi, The Jesus Freak

I'll drink to that ameN