A monster consumes eyes
with a fiery hate.
Instead of blood
there is water,
it's forced out--
gallons,
a single tear.
Fire spreads
through a crowd
in whispers that
protrude
your common sense--
ears burnt by a monster
no one sees
but everyone believes.
Hearing becomes seeing;
empty sockets
bear the mark
of the fiery monster:
water drips silently
but no one listens to it's pleas.
Seeing has been believing,
but hearing became seeing--
there's no surprise:
what people hear
in protruding whispers
throughout a crowd
is what they believe.
The monster's fiery hate
consumption--
a craving of sullen saltwater tears
feasting on all sight
blinding innocent bystanders,
that
in the first place
might not be so innocent.
But water always drips--
silently--
none to heed it's pleas.
A story
of humanity's drama.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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142,223 Literary Works • 677,044 Reviews
Good poem, and like the previous reviewer said, provoking. I'm not really sure as to why some things were italicized, though. Not really a distraction or issue or anything, but just something to point out.
Basically I have no complaints, other than the fact that some places seemed a little repetitive of others. I like it.
Hello
Hmm. What a thought provoking poem. I like your style and what I enjoyed the most was the structure of the poem. It is different from what I see everyday. Good choice of words too.
That is...wow, I love that.
I seriously have nothing bad to say about this poem. It speaks to me and it speaks the truth.
Good job. keep writing.