He plays guitar quietly
across the line
that separates us
and connects us
together
at 4 a.m.
I listen--
it's weird,
because I'm not talking
like I usually do
non-stop.
The repetitive twang of strings
soft and caressing
eases through one side
of the long line
and another
producing a sweet melody
I've heard before--
maybe.
At 4 a.m.
it really doesn't click
if you know the song
or not.
So I just lay
and listen
to the lullaby
ease out of my phone
with a smile on my face.
Bliss.
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140,623 Literary Works • 673,565 Reviews
I really enjoyed your motif of time. The repetition of 4am gave a sense of structure amongst the unorganised rhyme and rhythm which i felt really illustrated the sort if daze most of us fall into when awake at such a time.
Nicoke
x
hey, thanks!
I definitely wanted it to be freestyle like that, because it reflected how I felt at the time. Very... spontaneous, I might say?
I'm not really going to review this, but I definitely really liked this poem. It's original, and I like how you didn't structure it around any rhymes or rhythms.
This was definitely my favorite stanza of your poem!
Keep on writing!
-Jane