Heya, Deeproses! Casanova here to do a review as promised!
Anyway, let's get to it. One thing I like is how you're keeping to format poetry in this and Belle. It seems to work well with the poem instead of using the crummy YWS formatting. So props for that. Anyway, to the review!
I actually like the length of this one. It's short, yet to the point at the same time. I can tell you've put emotion into this one, and you're doing so in a way that your imagery doesn't get out of hand and you have to prune your flower(see what I did there ). That's overall a good thing in itself, so props for doing that.
yet you ruined the petals I took time to grow
and screamed at me your selfish wishes
These lines right here are pretty much a standalone thing. They work with or without the poem, because you've put so much thought into this. I really enjoyed these lines, and I do think they're the best out of what you have.
One thing I didn't like, however, was the third line. You say,"fluttering away in the quiet breeze," yet in the next couple of lines you use screaming. I would suggest adding something besides quiet to even it out, because I would love to see the entire poem flow together as one action. As if one line needed the other to survive.
Anyway, that's all I have to say on this one and I hope it helped.
Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.
Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron
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Reviews: 624
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