Her ruby red lips
with her sapphire eyes,
luring you in with her captivating remarks
by her swaying gestures, enchanting you with every act.
~
The soft speech escaping her mouth,
with an insane sweet smile across her beautifully pale face,
teasing, taunting, mocking you.
Yet all you can do is stand in disturbance and awe.
~
She’s mad but stunning.
Psychotic in every manner,
but quirky in her own style.
Squeals of delight but screams of derangement.
~
Strong and bold, she was,
like a piece of metal unable to be broken.
Yet she was sensitive and fragile,
like a dandelion easily ruined by the wind.
~
Her mind was demented and fogged
by the man she loved,
who was as wicked as can be.
He used and abused her,
one mistake she made would cost a strike to her face.
~
She loved him so dearly,
for all of her heart was towards him,
but she was so caught up in the fantasies,
that she ended up falling for all of his plans.
~
In her mind, she was as normal as can be,
And all the ones around her were crazy.
She thought as if she was doing the right thing,
For she was as carefree as a bird.
~
Currently locked behind bars,
trapped from her entertaining scandals,
she laid against the cold stone floor,
as squeaks and chuckles echoed aloud
from the demons dancing in her head.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,733 Reviews
Hey, DeepRoses! This is a (belated) review from ScytheMeister
I was just casually scrolling through the fan fiction section and saw "Harley Quinn" and was like "Why not?"
Onto the review~
Wow! You can seriously write! I was captivated and dragged in by your words! I felt like I was seeing a whole new more morbidly twisted (yet beautiful in her own right) Harley.
This last section,
... was one of my favourite. It was not as detailed as the other sections in the poem, but I loved the bittersweet taste it left after reading.
Good Job! I adored this piece <3
I hope to read more of your work!
Keep Writing! <3
- ScytheMeister
Hello there, DeepRoses!
This is Moonwatcher here with a review just before review day. ^-^
Okay, so do forgive me if I get anything wrong. I'm not very knowledgeable about Harley Quinn, other than how she looks, and that she's a DC comics character. Everything I know and am aware about her ends there.
The first thing that I would like to point out is the POV and tense throughout this poem. We do know that the narrator is infatuated with Harley Quinn, or some sort of admirer of her's. But as for the tense part that I have mentioned, take this for example:
Was. The rest of this poem is present tense, so what about now? Is she not strong or bold anymore? Is she no longer sensitive or fragile? I suggest changing the "was" into an "is."
We know nothing about this man. I mean, yes, we do. But others who are unfamiliar with this fandom might not. This is a common issue among fanfiction. Whether or not the reader is familiar with the fandom, the topic should be general and understood by those alike. We know that she loved "him". And that "he" abused her. But what was he really like? What did he /really/ do to her (emotionally).
Another issue that I have with this poem is that you're presenting us with information that the reader already knows, and despite having good descriptions, the imagery isn't too original. Your poetry should be your own, so make it your own. Example:
Anybody who knows how she looks like can describe her lips as ruby red, or her eyes as sapphire blue. But how can you describe her appearance that nobody else can? How can you make this poem your own?
That's all I have to say, and I hope this review helped! Have a great day!
Hey there, Puddin'! My name is PenPacifist, and I will be reviewing your piece of writing right now.
Firstly, you are outrageously talented in descriptive writing. The way you described Miss Harley Quinn made it seem like she was something supernatural; something like a mermaid or an angel. Harley Quinn was already such a captivating, unique, and powerful character, and you paid her a lovely tribute.
One thing I absolutely must congratulate you on is addressing her problematic relationship with the joker. Harley Quinn is so beautifully complex, and she does not deserve to be with a man like that. She loves purely and with all her heart; The Joker treats Harley like the dirt under his feet. She sacrifices her sanity and freedom for him, and I absolutely do not think it is fair that her creators keep forcing her with him.
The ending to your poem is hypnotic. Harley Quinn has gone insane due to the demons in her head. The visual of the demons dancing in her head is a description that will stick with me for a very long time. It's simple, morbid, yet beautiful in its own chaotic way. A bit like Harley.
Thank you for writing this. Please, please write more.
Thank you so much! I am really glad you liked it