A bleak canvas is all I am-
nothing extraordinary, vibrant, or unique-
or so they think.
They tear me up and rip me to shreds
because standing out is what I lack.
I’m ripped at the edges but I’m still a masterpiece
.
A piece of glass, projecting boring light-
You take your tacks, your sharp edges,
and you shatter me completely;
so, I put myself back together,
painted with the blood I’ve shed,
to make myself a now beautiful stained glass
.
You tear me apart from your garden
because I have started to whither.
You say you have enough roses,
so, you slowly rip off my petals
and toss me in the trash-
and there I lay, rotting with my silk
.
I am never good enough for you,
my apologies are deaf in your ears.
My heart hurts whenever I see I am left out,
forgotten, betrayed, replaced-
but now I feel that I am broken,
while you mock me with your perfect ways.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
I really enjoyed reading this poem. It captured the ways that many people including myself feel almost daily. People and words can hurt but we just have to remember that everything will be okay. This was so beautifully written and i liked how you italicized the important parts of the poem. One thing i noticed was how one of your lines sounded like a lyric for Colors by Halsey. I don't know if you realized that lol but it made me smile because Halsey is one of my favorite artists. Anyways, great job and keep writing!
I agreed with this poem, and I feel that it really explains how much creative types (not the music video XD) are looked down on as usual, but they are really something extraordinary. I really go a feeling from your writing that this whole poem was about your life for real, and that people look down on you for not being normal. At school I love to read and write, but people do not make fun of me for it. I also think it is a beautiful representation of how much we think out art is terrible, but it is really something. I also enjoyed your metaphor of the torn edges of the painting. Love to see more from you soon!
thank you soo much!
Hello there, DeepRoses!
This is Moonwatcher here with another review! ^-^
I see some more improvement in the imagery department, and I love what I'm seeing. One thing I do want to point out though is that you use really similar/repeat analogies a lot. I'm talking about the "ripping/tearing/breaking" analogies. By repeating yourself, you're not presenting the reader with anything new, which could be boring. Although using them once could seem like something really strong, using them more than once could break down or decompose the meaning, leaving them weak and meaningless because you've worn them out.
This is something really random and weird, but the italics in the first line;
Well, uh, ahem, this lyric (or pre-chorus, you might say), from Halsey's song "Colors".
Anyway, I just wanted to point that out, although that doesn't really have a purpose. Moving on from that, onto more about the lines in italics~
The purpose of italics in poetry--
Throughout this poem, you use italics frequently, but I don't really feel as if all of them are necessary. Only use italics to highlight the /strongest/ emotions, the words that you really want to emphasize or want the reader to absorb.
That's all I have to say about this poem. I hope my review helped you out, and have a great day! ^-^
I love how you portrayed your feelings in the description. I also love your comparisons and your metaphors. This poem is absolutely amazing and beautiful. I rate it 10/10.<3
awh thank you! Glad you liked it