Shattered Nightmare

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!!

First Impression: Well...this was quite a story...I really liked the idea and the very high octane action scene going on here...which I why I wanted to take a closer look...there are quite a few issues in her though...well more details on all of that down below.

Anyway let's get right to it,

After that day, my life began to shatter, all this time she was the nightmare. Beastly shadows

crept along the cracked walls, pouring floods of blood from their mouths. “Crap this is pissing me off.”I was locked up in this small box, literally causing me to go insane, maybe I should just turn off that god damn humanity. “Drown you bitch!” The ghastly shadows shrieked. Every one of those demons were crawling closer to me, their bones cracked and snapped, shifting right out of their worn down sockets. Then that son of a bitch started to dig her claws into my skin, firing her bloodshot

eyes right through my soul. I screamed in agony as they tried to possess me, yet not one tear had shed. “Grip even harder, I may just gouge your eyes out, or maybe I could decapitate your head and shove it up your ass!” She spat out, the female beast just chuckled. “Horrid fucking… God!” Her chains around her wrist shackled against the wall as she tried to swing a fist at one of the fiends. I tried so hard to yank my hands out from the chains deadly grip, but all that effort had done was make me bleed. “Just breathe, just breathe.” She whispered to herself. She lied back against the wall, knocking her head repeatedly, again and again. The horrid creatures licked my blood from between their claws. Mercilessly they snarled against my neck, as they pierced their rugged teeth into the beating pulse, crimson trails oozed its way down my nape. “No!” I screamed in anguish, which had only made the bleeding spew out even more. “Oh look what we've found.” The creature said nastily, suddenly she felt something being tugged within her back, a sharp pain surged through her veins, finally going numb. “We should hang it upon our chandelier.” The other demon added, chuckling. Pulses… are beating slower; I can hear my heart drumming its rhythmic beat, but a deadly kind. She just lied there, quaking with fear. The beasts roared, letting her blood spill from their mouths, as they tried to tear her arms apart. Tears blinded her as she started to feel her arms extend like melted rubber, until she spotted that dagger. It gleamed prideful, ready to take on any enemy, ready to puncture any flesh. It would only take her one second to place the dagger upon this nightmare’s neck, and flick her wrist to watch this beast drown in her own blood, or maybe I should cut out her entrails. She smirked at the thought. As the demons gnawed on her flesh, clenching it tightly; She snatched up the dagger, slashing the chains with enough pressure to shatter its unwanted braids. “Finally, I got you where I need you.” She stood, limping closer to the creatures that backed away. She gripped onto the dagger shakily, pointing the tip towards the little bastards. Under her; blood pooled, nearly blanketing the dark cement floors. She viciously stared at the female beast, starving for her death. Stumbling towards her, she engorged the sharp hell into the demon’s eye. She cursed as if she was possessed, as if she had felt this woeful pain. The creature then chuckled at her, with no stab wound in sight. “You can’t harm me Zora.” The beast then surged out xanthic acid from within her mouth, towards Zora’s scarred face. “You freaking ass wipe!” She shrieked and cried; grasping onto her singed face, shuddering psychotically. Her expression demolished as the acid devoured her life dry, she smelled of zuppa, it was a repulsive kind of stench for the dead. The demon kneeled down before her, “I’m going to miss this mother and daughter relationship Zora” The demon had whispered, glaring down at her corpse child.

WOW, the content was amazing! This is the type of story I feel like reading again and again. Its short but sweet. I've mainly been reading calmer, more action lacking stories, and this one really rejuvenated my writing interest. You have inspired me to write my own horror story. Keep making more of these, and I will read all of them.

But I also agree, spacing would make this easier to read. True it does not affect the story, but it does affect the feeling you get from the story. Another problem is the clarity. In the beginning I was a little confused, but the end was clearer. Once I read the end, I went back to reread the beginning. To prevent this, I would add a small exposition. Short and crisp, but enough to inform the reader a little about what is happening.

I also thank you for sharing this, I enjoyed it
-EpicGhostyWarrior

Brilliant content as a starter-lay and with more work could be an excellent piece. The biggest problem I have with this piece is the lack of paragraphs makes reading the content so much harder to follow and more time consuming as I found myself having to re-read lines to make sure I hadn't missed anything as that would put me out of kilter with how the plot would follow.

Other than this I'm impressed and I'm glad I took the time to read this piece.

Best of luck.

WOW, the content was amazing! This is the type of story I feel like reading again and again. Its short but sweet. I've mainly been reading calmer, more action lacking stories, and this one really rejuvenated my writting interest. You have inspired me to write my own horror story. Keep making more of these, and I will read all of them.

But I also agree, spacing would make this easier to read. True it doesnt affect the story, but it does affect the feeling you get from the story. Another problem is the clarity. In the beggining I was a little confused, but the end was clearer. Once I read the end, I went back to reread the beggining. To prevent this, I would add a small exposition. Short and crisp, but enough to inform the reader a little about what is happening.

I also thank you for sharing this, I enjoyed it
-EpicGhostWarrior10

Wow...this was morbidly entertaining. I enjoyed this thoroughly, though my main thing with this, was that there was little spacing between paragraphs. It does not particularly effect the story, in my opinion, but I would suggest more spacing. I love the way you put it together, however, and I'm glad I have read this. Thank you for sharing this!