Why Did You Leave Me Like That

This poem is really amazing and kind of makes you think about war. You think about the consequences of it and how many people die for their country. It makes you think about everything.This poem is just really amazing.

Well I think in order for a reader to reach the point where the heart sinks, they need to have someone to relate to. But having read kman134's review...I think that's when it could be understood. Still, I would have liked it to be more in-depth, as in using intense figurative speech for the true emotions bundled up and blazed inside, the churning illumination of hope shattering and dying, something like that. My opinion of a good poem is it makes you think, makes you claw deep into yourself- that's the core of poems.

Hello! I very much enjoyed reading your work, I love this because there is never an answer, only a question unanswered and cold. I suppose you never think of things like this happening to people until it happens to you. this gave me an understanding of that unexpected tragedy. Very inspiring and thought provoking. Nice job!

-Penelope o.

Hey, this is Kman134, here, to review you work.

This is a pretty good poem. I agree that seeing a loved one die is heartbreaking, especially one that died on the frontline. I lost my grandfather a year ago; he was a Korean War Veteran and was the nicest man you would ever met. he died of kidney failure at 83 and it devastated the entire family.

"Why did you leave me like that

why did you say goodbye like that

I wanted you to never let me go

I was waiting for you to come home"

The emotions from this part is what got me; i could feel the depression emanating from it. This is just like how i feel about my deceased grandfather and how i wait for him to visit, but i know he will never come to see me or mother, again.

This is a great work and i hope to see more. I apologize for filling most of it with personal biz, but that's what it reminds me of.

This is Yams here for a review!

I'm going to be honest with you and say you've added nothing new and have just mis-mashed of what love songs and war related songs have done before. You just don't add anything new. It actually sounds over-dramatized with the line "Why did you leave me like that" perfectly capturing teenage angst songs.

It sounds like only another song of heartbreak and sounds to me-- like every other. I've heard this song before. Give us something new. Something we haven't heard. Put your own personal relationship with the person into the song.

The lyrics don't /connect/ very well. You keep switching topics throughout the song and mainly, you should focus on one main idea.

All in all it just feels dramatic and angsty in my opinion. It just has nothing new over self-pity and when the singer-- I think they know why the other person had to leave.

Have a great day!

Hello, I'm here to give you a review on your poem "Why did you leave me like that". I do highly suggest editing your title so it is not completely in capital letters. It seems like it is screaming for attention, which is something it doesn't need to do as it will get reviews in due time.

I did not like how you started out your work with the picture. It would have been better to end off with, instead of starting because it is distracting from the poem itself and it leaves us trying to understand off the bat why you'd put it there.

Another thing that I found to be really distracting from your poem was the fact that you let it all flow into one. I do believe that it would have been better if you allowed yourself to go back in and break it into stanzas. I can make suggestions on where I believe it would be a good place to give you an idea. It will only be a suggestion and not something that you will have to do. After all, it is your piece and I'm not going to tell you that you haveto change anything.

Okay, these are all of the places, that I suggest that you break them off. These are all the last lines of the stanza's that I'd make.

why did you leave me alone.

you left me when I needed you most.

but duty called and you had to leave to a war.

why did you say goodbye like that.

you were missing in action.

I never wanted you to never let me go.

and as the preacher said he was a good man.

has come early for us.

Why did you leave me like that?