Young Writers Society

King Here

If this review is kinda the short one, I am sorry at advance. I may not be so good with poems even if I try to. Well, we all learn, right?

Maybe someone before me had told you in a review that the start and end is kind of..
I do not know how to exactly say it but they are not the best they can be. At the beginning, it was kind of odd for me and I noticed the smooth flow and rhyme later in the part which needs to be actually seperated from the first one. I think that it will look twice better if you seperate them in stanzas. It will look better and we will know exactly when to stop, take a breath and read the next part of the poem. This is optional but it is better done.
I totally understand why you had started every single line with a capital letter. I see it as a style writers use to write poems which is totally fine and I do not find it for a mistake or anything like that but you change your style or writing midway and suddenly it turns out what you start the lines with small letters. I think you need to choose what you want from them and edit the whole poem in only one style, one of them. I would prefer to see this with each line starting with a capital letter. I like the way you had started it and it would be great to end it this way.
I actually find the wolves as creatures who are not that nice towards other beings, mostly towards humans, but you had showed them in a very different light. You show the reader that not only one type is there and one could be good, other could be bad.
For the grammar and punctuation, I do not find why would I complain about it because it has no problems with it.
Some parts were really odd and maybe could be called boring but overall, it was a very good read that worth it. I think it can be even better. Maybe the main reason why this can be double better is that the start can be rewrote in a way that connects the sadness and the wolf more or with a rhyme. I do not know exactly.


Keep on writing, dear writer.

Hello!

My, my this was a nice little poem. From some poems (and books), some would say that wolves are totally "ravish" creatures that'll attack you. However, in this poem, you use the wolf as a symbol of greatness and mystery. It could be since it is a white wolf (since white is the color of "purity" or "clarity"). If the picture wasn't there, how would you describe the wolf without using white? In a sense, don't just use white all over the place- add some color to what you are describing. Add the feel for what is around you (what do the woods smell like? what does the air taste like?) that kinda of thing. If you continuing doing so, you'll create a nice, little image for the reader.

In some poems, repetition is key for stating a point or providing a claim (or to make certain words stand out for the theme). In your case, you use the wolf's howl as some sort of a "repetition". Also, in the beginning of this poem, it seemed to just fall flat. Like it doesn't give the reader that sense of something good might come around the horizon. Why is the narrator sad? Does the wolf symbolize something? I feel it might symbolize the ghost that hovers over the narrator's sadness- kinda like a spirit animal, I suppose.

Throughout this poem, there seems to be some info that'll bore the reader. Like we understand that the wolf is going to howl again, but I don't think it'll matter if we know so. Another thing is somebody told me making fewer stops in a poem is quite nice. It gives off that sudden beat when somebody is reading it in their head or out loud. Speaking of reading this out loud, when done with your poem, do so. Just read it out loud and figure out the parts that need to be fixed before posting it. I still do it to this day.

One thing that kinda annoys irks me is when poems don't have separate stanzas. For some reason, it feels cluttered and uneasy to read. In my personal opinion (and you don't have to do this), is trying to find the end of the first stanza and break it apart from the rest. Like braiding. You take three pieces of hair, separated then throughout braiding, you are intertwining to make something wonderful. In other words, when you make stanzas you can create a whole new world.

The ending of this poem seems to be... abrupt? It doesn't have that certain feel to it, making me want more. Like, the poems itself just slumps down and rots (or something). I feel you should just remove the last part. However, that's up to you.

Overall, this was a nice poem. It does need its fixing here and there, but I'm sure by towards the end, it'll be wonderful!

Steggy

Hi harry576, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day.

Theme: Normally when people write about wolves they depict them as wild savage animals, but you didn't in this poem. You gave it an original twist and made it out to be a sort of romantic poem. I really liked the way you did this and I also liked the rhyming scheme. It was a very smooth scheme that didn't feel forced at all and it really helped with the poems flow.

Description: You put in a fair amount of description into this poem, so that I could see exactly what was going on. However, I do think that you could jazz it up a bit with some smells and more interesting colours. Just put a few things in here and there.

Grammar and Punctuation: As far as I can see you got most of the punctuation right. I did notice that in the beginning of the poem you capitalized the start of every line. Later on you started to miss a few. Just go back and capitalize the start of all the lines.

Small suggestions: I do have one small suggestion. I feel like you repeat quite a few lines here and there. I would maybe go back and change them a bit, so that it doesn't feel repetitive.

Overall it was a great poem and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.

Your friend, Felistia.

My hat's off to you and your 'wolfish' poem

It is unprecedented that you talked about an emotional experience with a wolf in your poem. Others generally see wolves as ferocious animals, but you saw your wolf as an oppressed, broken and somehow adorable creature. Your poem reminds me of William Blake's 'Tiger'. No wait! It reminds me of Romantic poetry as a whole!

The rhyme scheme is great. But there's something; you should say 'yours' instead of 'your's' in the poem. Concerning the punctuation, there's a minor modification that you have to make. You should put a comma between 'you' and 'standing' in the following couple:-

"But you standing on the hill,
told me to never give up."

It should be like:-

"But you, standing on the hill,
told me to never give up."

I give your poem an 8/10. You really, really made a great job. Don't forget to write more and more; it's the only way to improve yourself. You have an enviable talent that you should work on. who knows? maybe you'll be the 21st-century Lord Byron or something

Have a beautiful time!