I am There For You

Hi Harry!

It is true that lyrics are similar to poetry, but you also have to keep in the mind a multitude of other factors that will influence your lyrics. What is the musical accompaniment? Is it a piano or a guitar or a ukulele or a kazoo? Do you imagine this being a popular music piece, like something that might be performed in an ensemble, such as in a band? Although you have not specified the genre of music, because the lyrics pertain to friendship, I can probably imagine that this is a slower, softer song, so I'll interpret it as such.

Other things to keep in mind when writing lyrics is the presence of a chorus. You'll notice that in most songs averaged two to five minutes, there is a chorus that the singer always comes back to. The chorus not only ties the separate parts of the song together but also emphasizes important points. It would be nice if you wrote a chorus and you could use it to further develop and highlight the most important aspects of what your friend's friendship means to you. There is a slight presence of this (I am a phone call away//I will fly your way//I will cross rivers and climb mountains) but you should format your song so this is clearer. Also, think: how are these three lines related, interconnected, or meaningful? You might find a few revisions would help to more aptly express how you feel about your friend.

Like in poetry or prose, songwriting needs to flow especially well. This does not necessarily mean that each word has to rhyme and many successful songs don't rhyme so you should not feel obligated or limited to doing so. Personally, I feel like your song is rather stilted because you have limited yourself to simple rhymes. I suggest diversifying your rhyme scheme and tapping into the potential of other rhymes, like half-rhymes, for example. Do not limit yourself to monosyllabic words, either, because you might lose out on the emotional depth achievable by more descriptive and complex vocabulary. It almost feels like every line stands on its own and you've thrown together a list of things that you love about your best friend. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it might be better if you organized your thoughts a bit more and settled on a few key points to stress through your lyrics. Of course, a chorus would help with this, too. Sit back and ask yourself: what is your most favourite thing about your friend? Is there a particular moment in your friendship that sticks with you always? Start small and expand on the idea and eventually you'll realize that instead of empty lines, you'll have strength and more emotional depth in your words.

The previous reviewer mentioned the lack of punctuation, and they are right, to an extent. We need proper grammar in order to better understand the direction of your lyrics. Furthermore, I suggest you do some formatting so that it's clear what is the chorus and what is not.

Overall, I think it is really sweet that you wrote this for your best friend. I'm sure it will be much appreciated on their part. However, I can't help but feel that each line is much too distinct from the next and therefore there is a lack of connectedness and feeling. A lot of it is rather cliche, which is a shame because any friendship is far from unoriginal and average. Draw from the friendship and its unique qualities and you might find some very beautiful, original ways to compose some extra lyrics for your friend. This was a very sweet piece! Let me know if you have any questions.

Best,
Lav

Hey! EverWinter here to review your work!

I like the message in your lyrics! You hardly ever see songs about friendship.

K so there are a few things that I would suggest.

First, punctuation. Even in lyrics there is punctuation, so just go through and work on that.

Second, you rhyme a lot, but not every line does. It kinda throws off the rhythm of reading it. I think you should either not rhyme at all, or make every line have at least a slant rhyme. That way it's consistent. Just because if it rhymes half the time, readers think it is sloppy.

Other than that I think you are pretty good. Just a little work and this'll be pretty dang good.

Great job!

Ever