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Invisible Chains

by ariah347

In solitude, I grapple with these binding chains, 

A burdened soul familiar with these well-worn pains.

My narrator, meticulous in every neurotic critique,

Leaves no action unscathed, no effort unique. 

A disease named perfection it courses through my veins,

Even in the midst of the sun live personal hurricanes.

Every flaw, a dagger to my burdened core,

Each battle is a campaign in an internal war. 

Pen grips paper, a vice-like hold so tight,

A symptom of this infection, a relentless fight.

I carve my belittling into my soul deep inside,

Whatever you could point out, I've already identified.

Restless and unwell until it all is fit as 'just right,'

This pursuit consumes my days and haunts my nights.

Others dismiss, claiming it's all in my head,

Yet I sense truths lurking in words left unsaid. 

In shadows between lines, I berate what doesn't exist,

An invisible link to the cold metal against my wrists.

The chains that bind, I yearn to break free,

Embracing flaws and scars and letting myself be.

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32 Reviews

Points: 2960
Reviews: 32

Tue Sep 05, 2023 9:12 am
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SnowGhost wrote a review...

Ok I'm kinda obsessed with this poem, very likely because I can relate to it as a fellow perfectionist. It's been a while since I've read a poem that executed rhyme and rythme so expertly.

It is an extremely satisfying piece of work to read, and very thought provoking. Usually I'm one to read without stopping, as most things I read aren't worth giving a second thought. But your poem makes me want to stop and ponder, yet also eagerly continue reading.

My favorite line has got to be, "A disease named perfection it courses through my veins", although I may suggest getting rid of "it" to allow the line to flow slightly smoother. But the comparison of perfectionism to a disease is rather accurate, as it not only affects one part of your life, but is what determines so many other factors.

Another line that stuck out to me was, "Each battle is a campaign in an internal war."
You're really good at painting a picture of how you're feeling through very well written metaphors.

Honestly, I'm very impressed with this poem, which is quite rare as I am rather picky with the poetry I enjoy. And although I know the perfectionism may get in the way of this, you should be very proud of what you've written, because it's amazing. :) Thanks for an awesome read.

ariah347 says...

Ahh!! So, it's been a few days since I logged into YSW, and your comment is one of several on this. With that being said, it's nice seeing so many people who relate to this. It was a late-night blurb of thought about perfectionism being an illness and being frustrated with myself because I'm trying to write a novel (part of it is here on YSW), but writer's block has hit my progress. Add those together, and this came to be! Poetry is definitely my preferred and most comfortable writing style, but challenging myself has been fun. Thank you so much for this sweet comment and reaffirming my love and ability with poems!!!

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19 Reviews

Points: 14
Reviews: 19

Mon Sep 04, 2023 7:13 pm
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Serrurie wrote a review...

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. It feels hard to capture the thoughts of a writer like you do. But you did this perfectly. Chef's kiss. 👍
I love all of the metaphors that seem to penetrate us writers: A disease named perfection," and writing being a personal battle within? Man, I wish this was an entire book! Where an author writes something like this- and it comes to life! Or that you actually published a poetry novel. I love those things, and this would fit right into them.
And now, for a poem-style goodbye:
'Dear friend, how sweet your poetry,
I hope to see more of you,
And you see more of me!'

Happy writing!

ariah347 says...

Your poem ending was so cute. :) :) :) Thank you so much for this comment! Taking the time to read and review this is one thing, but enjoying it is the ultimate goal! I love poetry and metaphors, and it's always nice to be told that I do those well. Wishing you well wherever you are in the world!

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7 Reviews

Points: 96
Reviews: 7

Mon Sep 04, 2023 6:43 pm
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thepotatoryan wrote a review...


First and foremost, this is absolutely wonderful. It says everything that is left unsaid when writing. Writer's block is no joke and can be very irritating.

The rhymes are placed beautifully and make a ton of sense to the poem. I love the metaphor of the chains being there, because when I can't think of what to write, I do feel shackled.

The title to this is perfect and makes it all the better. I don't think that there is anything wrong with this at all. You put thought into each word, each rhyme. This poem flows brilliantly, very fluid-like. There's no bumps or weird pauses that don't add up, it's very well-written.

You put effort into this, and it shows. Thank you for sharing this amazing read. I look forward to seeing more.

Absolutely positively do not stop writing, you do it very well and the skill is well, exponentially amazing!

ariah347 says...

Okay... that last comment made me smile SOOO big! Thank you for that. Your kind words mean more than you know! MUCH LOVE!!!

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coreyrivas says...

I agree with you. This is frankly a very beautiful poem. its enthralling. you are able to take a few ideas & run with them in a way thats captivating. geometry dash lite

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179 Reviews

Points: 18151
Reviews: 179

Sat Sep 02, 2023 2:56 am
OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...

Hiya! This is Orabella, here to leave a short review.

I love this poem. It truly brings to light the struggles of writing.

First of all, the title is perfectly suited for this. Not only does it describe what the poem is about, it's also interesting and draws the reader in.

Your rhymes are placed in the best positions they could be, and the flow and rhythm is also amazing. It isn't awkward like some poems, and the rhymes don't seem forced like others.

Although I haven't actually tried to write anything serious for a while, every word here rings true for me and any writer.

I seriously love this poem more than I can put into words. Please oh please, keep writing!

ariah347 says...

Writing poetry without a rhyme scheme and rhythm is incredibly difficult for me. I find that the pulse of poems lies within that; without it, I cannot focus on reading or writing it (quirk from having A.D.D.), or I'm left to focus REALLY hard and lose the fun in it. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and the encouragement! It means a lot :) :) Wishing you well!

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145 Reviews

Points: 9806
Reviews: 145

Fri Sep 01, 2023 9:46 pm
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Kaia wrote a review...

I have to say I wasn't expecting this kind of intensity, but wow does it drive the point home! I don't think I need to go on about how relatable this is, because I think it's obvious that most writers experiences these invisible chains. But what I really want to comment on are the neat little metaphors in this piece is.

I love the ideas of describing writer's block to be like a undying disease and cruel chains. It really shows how annoying having writer's block can be. And I also really like that you identify the reason; perfection, something that is rather unattainable, and yet must be fought for. It's like the battle that everyone knows is going to be lost, but everyone partakes in it anyway to prove that it is worth the lives of those who die in it. Rather a romantic point I have to say, but this image is contrasted sharply which the realistic imagery of "cold metal" chains around scarred wrists.

Your other image is a disease, one that never quite heals or goes away. With "well worn pains" and no physician to remedy it, this image makes me think of defeat, like an elderly person fighting death uselessly. All in all, these two ideas go together quite nicely to portray the deep struggles of a person in writer's block. Very nicely said, ariah!

I'm also impressed with the rhyme. You kept it up consistently, which I know can be very difficult. It does seem to lack a noticeable rhythm, but I think it does just fine without. There were no sections in it where I felt like it was hard to read because the line carried on too long or was unusually short; rather, the whole poem flowed really nicely, so I was actually surprised when I realized that there wasn't really a rhythm.

That's it for this one! Wishing you an excellent weekend,

ariah347 says...

I adore your profile picture thing - sooo cute! You really get my intent behind this and your comment is so well thought out, and I can tell it took time. Thank you so much!!!! <3

Kaia says...

You are very welcome! And thank you!! I painted this little hamster on a rock and took a picture of it that became my avatar. :)

I cannot separate the aesthetic pleasure of seeing a butterfly and the scientific pleasure of knowing what it is.
— Vladmir Nabokov