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Dance With the Devil

by ariah347

The devil walks among us, sipping coffee at your local cafe,

Opening your car door for a night on the town this Saturday.

They have no horns protruding out nor any tail with a spade,

With siren eyes drawing you into an elaborate masquerade.

Beneath a suave exterior, a darkness hides away,

A master of deception, leading astray in a shadowed ballet.

In the subtlest of whispers, temptation's threads are laid,

As the ultimate seduction takes root in the game they've played.

They wear a cloak of charm, a semblance of polished grace,

A smile like warm sunshine on a cold and dreary place.

But beware the sugary words, the enchanting embrace,

For the devil walks among us, with a mask upon their face.

They'll promise you the world, with a wicked twist of fate,

In their web of illusions, where reality can't relate.

With every stolen kiss, they seal a perilous pact,

Leaving behind a trail of broken hearts in the aftermath.

Yet, in this devil's presence, there's a lesson to be learned,

For even in the darkest souls, a chance for change may burn.

To see beyond the surface, where the truth may still be earned,

Is to break the spellbound, once and for all adjourned.

So let us not be blinded by the devil's cunning guise,

But seek the light within us, where our own true nature lies.

For in our strength and kindness, we can hope to realize,

That the devil's reign among us need not be our compromise.

Author's note: Unbeknown to me, a friend pointed out that I listen to a lot of music that features demonic themes despite my cheerful demeanor (LOL). It sent me into a rabbit hole, which led to me making a playlist. While listening to said playlist, this poem came out. If you're curious about listening, I'd be happy to share. Let me know :)

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21 Reviews

Points: 339
Reviews: 21

Tue Sep 26, 2023 11:32 pm
Fleur wrote a review...

Hihi! Here to just leave a lil review :)

I have to open with... wow! The rhyme? The message? The emotion? The truth? Immaculate. I think this poem has a clear message, one that I heavily relate to. I think poems like these are really important to write and share with others. Evil is all around us, in plain sight and in hiding. Discernment and wisdom is important, but also recognizing we don't have to succumb to it.
My favorite line has to be:

For the devil walks among us, with a mask upon their face

It's a simple yet effective line that truly sets the tone of the poem.

My main critique would be the length of the lines. I was attempting to read the poem out loud and struggled a little and even tripped over some lines/words because the length seemed to throw off the rhythm. I think the rhyme is wonderful, and while each line plays a part in the message of the poem, it's important to make reading/saying the poem as effortless as possible.

Overall, my critiques are nothing compared to how much I enjoyed this poem. Keep writing and perhaps I'll be back on some of your other work!

Much love, Lullaby ♡

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12 Reviews

Points: 412
Reviews: 12

Tue Sep 26, 2023 1:37 pm
Kz wrote a review...

Hello ariah347!

It has been a long time since I've reviewed any of your work! :D

Right off the bat, this is gorgeous writing. I love how you make the devil seem ordinary. You do very will with descriptions. . . I am a fan of the line
"They have no horns protruding out nor any tail with a spade"
Where it is almost as if you are bashing the myth.

Your language is vivid and descriptive. I am wondering if you are following any particular pattern?

Either way thank you for blessing YWS with your work 🙏

Have an amazing Morning, afternoon, evening, or night! (From wherever you are :D)

I am interested in your playlist!! (Hope you don't mind :p)

ariah347 says...

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/57NtC ... c11e4b4400

Not sure if you saw it in one of the comments below! Thank you for this kind review... It definitely makes me happy that you think this! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world! <3

ariah347 says...

Kz says...

Thank youuuuu..!! <3

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164 Reviews

Points: 177
Reviews: 164

Mon Sep 25, 2023 3:30 pm
AyumiGosu17 wrote a review...

WOW! I saw the title and it instantly reminded me of a song I've been listening to lately with a very similar title ("Dancing with the devil" by Demi Lovato). So, I clicked on this thinking it might be a play on that song. This was so much deeper than I expected!

Your language is vivid and captivating, to the point that I can see the different scenes flashing in my mind as I'm reading it. I also love your use of connotations and tone, emphasizing the severity of each of these situations where the Devil can wreak havoc on a life. You've got me thinking that the Devil is a possible metaphor here, like a metaphor for toxic relationships and lifestyles. But that could just be my experiences making my mind play tricks on me, too.

Love it! I can't wait to read more!

ariah347 says...

It's funny you mention that song because that's one of the songs on my playlist! Your metaphor idea is spot on. Thanks for the review :) wishing you well wherever you are in the world <3

Kz says...


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1064 Reviews

Points: 62
Reviews: 1064

Mon Sep 25, 2023 2:18 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...

I love this poem! It shows that The Devil is beautiful to entice others, to trick them. Kind of like how people deemed ”beautiful” by the majority of the world can get away with more evils than those who “aren’t”. That’s how I saw it, anyway.

I’m interested in what songs are in your playlist. Could I listen to them?

I hope that you will have a wonderful and amazing day and night.

ariah347 says...

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/57NtC ... c11e4b4400

The link on Spotify is above :) I'd like to think it has a little something for everyone (minus country because I'm not a big fan :P)

Side-note: your interpretation is interesting and makes total sense! I love it!! Thanks for the review <3

vampricone6783 says...

Thank you! I actually listened to a few of these songs, but I'll check out the others.

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224 Reviews

Points: 24641
Reviews: 224

Sun Sep 24, 2023 5:17 am
OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...

Hiya! This is Orabella here with a review.

Today, I'll be reviewing using the YWS S'more Method!

Normally I'd love to listen to your playlist, but I am currently unable to access music right now. However, if I ever need to get some demonic songs, I know to come back here. :D

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
Your poem is more of a metaphorical meeting with the devil than an actual event. Which is common with poems. It's saying beware the devil, for they are hiding in plain sight. They may be someone you've never even talked to; just someone sitting in a café. But beware of their temptations; don't let them lead you astray. (Haha sorry, but I wanted to rhyme too.)

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
Umm... not much to say here. I'm literally struggling to find something to say at the section, because honestly this is really well done. I guess I feel like a bit of it lasted too long.

Yet, in this devil's presence, there's a lesson to be learned,

For even in the darkest souls, a chance for change may burn.

To see beyond the surface, where the truth may still be earned,

Is to break the spellbound, once and for all adjourned.

Not that this is bad, but I might suggest trying to shorten this section to two lines instead. I'm not sure exactly of the meaning of these lines, and they don't add much to the poem. (In my opinion.) Please note that I still really like these lines and they can stay just like they are, and the poem is still amazing.

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
Of every poem I've read from you, you've always got amazing and perfectly placed rhymes. And this is no exception.
I don't get how you do it! Your words set up the rhymes so perfectly, and yet you lose nothing from trying the force them in! It's like you just write whatever you want and the words just fall into place like that. Simply amazing.
The overall poem just fits together perfectly. The transitions are smooth and I'm never left bored. Rereading this, I find even more meaning than I did before, and each time it gets better and more enjoyable.

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Are you always this amazing with poems? Because I think you are. Thank you so much for writing this, and choosing to share this with us. I'm so glad you did. ^^
Keep writing!

ariah347 says...

AHHHHHH! This comment made me smile soooo big :) :) :) I've written poetry since I was very little so I have a litany of awful work LOL... It comes easy for me and it's nice to hear someone agree! Thank you so much for writing such kind words!! <3<3<3

OrabellaAvenue says...

<3 <3 <3
Yes yes of course! I'm just happy that I could write something that made you smile. ^^ :D :D :D

Kz says...

How do you quote the work? In the yellow

OrabellaAvenue says...

Ah, yes, a common question. It's like this...
How do you quote the work? In the yellow
except without the capital Qs.
Then you just copy and paste what you want to quote. When you post, it turns into a quote.
How do you quote the work? In the yellow

There's also a place with more commands to get text to do more things. You can find that here
Let me know if that made sense! ^^

OrabellaAvenue says...

Oh oops. I mean...
It's like this...
[1quote]How do you quote the text? In the yellow[1/quote] but without the 1s.

I am so glad that we can have this middle of the night bonding conversation over deep sinks
— EllieMae