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The Triptych of Passion

by ariah347

The best kind of love shouldn't fit together

Yet the pieces click into each other well

It's a torrid lover who pisses you off

But somehow puts you under a spell


It's lips that evade logic; the taste of madness

A stuttering stammer with muted mind

Caressing hands around a heart's throat

Two misfit souls that have combined


The worst kind of love is bitter and broken

A curtain call with no applause

Ripped at the shreds, taken over the edge

Wrapped tightly in sharp jaws


It magnifies parts of yourself you hate

Exhausted arguments; perpetuate cycles

Sweet nothings lied and tied into the night

Hiding behind preposterous smiles


The hardest love is aggregating the two

So you can no longer discern the divide

When trials and tribulations multiply

Keeping it alive when heartbeats have died


It's in the slow descent into comfort

When there is nothing left that's "new"

It's choosing to choose that someone

Entering back into the world you withdrew


The best kind will never relinquish

Holding you close as you shove

Taking you to the gallows, hanging

It fills you with fire; it's a wicked love


To feel these three is to be capable of carnage

Waging a war while calling a truce

It's looking fear in the eye with a blank stare

Waving a hand for more abuse.

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24 Reviews

Points: 2190
Reviews: 24

Mon Sep 25, 2023 8:34 pm
envy wrote a review...

i have no clue what a triptych is, but i do loveee poetry. :)

youre really getting into the nitty-gritty of love here, showing that its not all sunshine & rainbows. love can be intense & painful, but its oddly enchanting. its a relatable take on the ups & downs of love. your words paint a vivid picture, but some of the imagery left me scratching my head. think about injecting some fresh & unique language to capture these experiences in a new light.

your poems got a nice structure with those repeating lines about different kinds of love. it helps everything come together & keeps the rhythm flowing smoothly. there are a couple of spots where a bit of grammar tweaking could make things run smoother, but theyre minor issues. keep an eye on punctuation to make sure its working in harmony. with some polishing, this will shine bright.


ariah347 says...

So, you may have seen a triptych before and didn't realize the technical term. It is a painting that is in three panels. Sometimes it's the same image stretched into three while other times, it is three images that relate. The panels/images are side by side on different canvases or frames. It is often used as an altarpiece. I wanted the imagery of "three" and this word came up. I found it fitting given the context between the different levels of love. I suppose I can regurgitate the same imagery and metaphors; I see where this fits that. Didn't mean to leave you scratching your head LOL... I appreciate your review as it has me thinking! Thanks! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world <3

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547 Reviews

Points: 31607
Reviews: 547

Mon Sep 25, 2023 2:14 am
Ventomology wrote a review...


The title of this poem immediately grabbed me in the green room. Triptychs are a really fun form of visual art, so I was curious to see how that might relate to your poem.

Now then:

While this poem certainly has stronger rhythm than some early-draft poetry I've read, I do think that when you get to the length and overall poem structure that you've put here, that you want to be really intentional about your meter, syllable counts, and rhythm. I read this whole piece aloud a few times and did a few syllable counts, and I think you could do with a little more consistency over all, so that in moments where it counts, you can create change through the very meter itself.

Another thing to consider might be the triptych structure itself and how you implement it. A typical triptych has two side panels and a center panel, which is often larger. This poem has three parts and a summary, but it is the first part which is the longest and most complete. Did you run out of steam on the other parts?

Something that was imparted to me in architecture school that I think applies here is the idea that when you have repetition, you need a certain level of consistency between the repeated elements in order for the effect to really come out. I think this applies to the length of the sections of this poem especially; it's hard to really see the parts when part one is four stanzas, and part three is one stanza immediately followed by the conclusion. (I also think you need "kind of love" in that third first line.)

I think the strongest element of this poem is the repetition of sounds outside the rhyme scheme. The "stuttering stammer and muted mind" line really stands out this way, and I love the way you occasionally have a word in the second line of a stanza that has some assonance or consonance with the end of the first line, like in stanzas one and four.

Overall, great work! I'd love to see you continue refining this.

Hope this helps,

ariah347 says...

Glad you liked the use of the word triptych! I tried to find something that summarized the "three" battle here and found it suited. I'm also trying to research and learn more about art for Reflecting Hearts so the duality helps LOL... Like always you've got me thinking. This was a blurb that came out after finishing a romance novel. It made me contemplate my relationship (I've been with my hubby for almost ten years now!)... Then this came out, and I wrote it without pausing, critiquing, etc. I really love your idea of structuring this to match a triptych and the overall review here. Thanks! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world <3

You cannot understand and disagree.
— P. D. Ouspensky