Lemons & Moon Phases

by ariah347

Published April 18, 2024

E - Everyone

In Poetry

"The early bird gets the worm," they say. But who wants worms at the break of day?

"A penny saved is a penny earned," they decree. Yet the cost of living’s as high as can be.

If every cloud has a silver lining and late is better than never, 

Then why chase the dawn? Night's embrace can be just as clever.

"Make your own luck," the wise chime, Then why hurry the sunrise? Life unfolds in its own time.

"When life gives you lemons" and other phrases, echoes of all the moon's phases.

But fortune cookie proverbs don't make wishes come true, really ever, 

It is the hands of the clock that map out the ripples of each endeavor. 

"Haste makes waste," the sayings go, but knowledge isn't always what you know.

Wisdom can't quantify words that are read or reverberate adages from the dead.

"Rome wasn't built in a day" and "When in Rome do as the Romans do"

As the seconds pass, what you do with life and all its worth is up to you.

Comments & reviews · 5
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MothNBone
Review
MothNBone wrote a review Review · May 9, 2024

Hello Hello I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I will apologize if it is not as in-depth as I normally do. Overall I enjoy playing with common phrases and words of wisdom many hear over and over again.

I think my favourite line has to be " "When life gives you lemons" and other phrases, echoes of all the moon's phases." There is something so poetic and striking about it in a way I can't fully explain. The themes are also expressed in such a good way near the end.

However, there is one line I would tweak. " But fortune cookie proverbs don't make wishes come true, really ever," The really kind of trips up the flow for me to keep the rhyme I came up with a quick change ( you don't have to make any if you don't want to.) " But fortune cookie proverbs don't make wishes come true, or ever," it doesn't make a bunch of sense but it's what I can think of right now.

Regardless keep it up and drink water!

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Semicolon
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Semicolon wrote a review Review · Apr 20, 2024

Hello! I'm Ava
I came across your poem and I couldn't help but write a review because this is so beautifully written!!
I'm kind of going through a hard time and getting confused with the decisions I made. I was almost convinced that I had made a mistake but reading your poem gave me hope again.

The use of words and and incorporating the accurate sayings perfectly into a piece of literature and making it so wisely meaningful was brilliant. I could see that you put a lot of thought into this piece.
What really caught my attention was how you justified how most outcomes of our deeds are because of us realistically contrasting the sayings. Last two lines just left me in awe. The entire piece is powerful enough to make a indecisive person believe in what he's doing.


Thank you again for this beautiful piece :D
Have a great day!

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mayaura Comment
mayaura commented Comment · Apr 20, 2024

This is such a lovely piece of writing it is taking what we have heard throughout life and questioning and spiting them. Taking life in your grasp and truly realizing fate is in your hands.

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Ravena
Review
Ravena wrote a review Review · Apr 18, 2024

Hello, My Friend!

This is a fascinating bit of poetry. It feels like a clash of old and modern wisdom, a challenge to the "all-encompassing" treatment that so many of the old adages are treated with. A contrast between what you can control in your life, like determination and knowing when to act, to what can't be controlled, such as time itself and even the elusive concept of luck.

*ahem as for a more technical review, I have nothing to complain about. I love your rhyme scheme, and everything is very well-written. Great work there ~

It would be hard to choose a favorite line, but if I had to...

But fortune cookie proverbs don't make wishes come true, really ever,

It is the hands of the clock that map out the ripples of each endeavor.


These are just great lines, and again, highlight the contrast between something human-made with something more universal. Time is certainly a lot more powerful than a slip of paper, regardless of what it says. And of course...

As the seconds pass, what you do with life and all its worth is up to you.


That was a great way to finish tying the themes together and wrap it all up into one brilliant message.

Overall, this was awesome! Nicely done! :D

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KaavyaK
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KaavyaK wrote a review Review · Apr 18, 2024

A really awesome poem written by the author.

"Wisdom can't quantify words that are read or reverberate adages from the dead.
"Rome wasn't built in a day" and "When in Rome do as the Romans do"
As the seconds pass, what you do with life and all its worth is up to you."
The three last lines are the most powerful lines of this poem. This shows how practical and mature the author is regarding his/her life. I love the rhyme scheme of this poem.

It is true, what you do with your life is in your hands. Everybody gets a life but there are only a few who know how to use it properly, we all can get into that list of a few but "No pain, no gain".

Nice work, keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.



The man who never makes a mistake always takes orders from one who does.
— Anonymous