Metaphorical Clouds

Interesting... very interesting.
I enjoyed reading this quite a lot.

It sort of describes what it's like to grow up and slowly start to realise that there are things from your child hood that were... I dunno sort of... misconceptions.

I liked the bit about the metaphorical clouds to aim for.

The ending was rather melancholy (if that was what you were aiming for.)

Well done.

Nice poem having rich imagery,i liked the part of conflict of dream and reality very thoughtful of you....But don't get me wrong but some expression seemed pretty wooden to me ...which in turn hampers the flow of an otherwise short and sweet poem...

This was an outstanding poem. I loved how you flowed into each line. I also enjoyed how you shared the truth. I enjoy this poem alot.

Good poem! I liked the metaphors I think the last two lines of the second stanza sound a bit awkward when read or spoken, which is too bad because they're good lines, they just don't really flow. I think it might just be the 3 long words so close together. Maybe it's just me. Also, "I lart later that clouds are just rain" is only 9 syllables, and the first two lines of the last stanza are eleven. You may not need to fix this if you think it flows.

This was absolutely beautiful. I'm serious. I felt that every word was meaningful and had thought and purpose. Wow.
Wow. I am still reeling, that was so cool.
Okay, here goes...
I really liked how you used "When I was younger than I am today" instead of pinpointing a certain age. This is great, because it means that the reader can interpret the age however they want. I love how you used the word "unscathed," because I feel like that foreshadows when you learn reality, and discover otherwise.
This may just be me, but I feel like maybe "learned" would be better than "learnt". I don't know if that is proper grammar, but it still sounds fine if you decide against that.
Ah, metaphorical clouds just sound so pretty...
Again, I enjoyed when you allowed the reader to interpret the age. Were you 4, or 20 and looking forward to a successful career?
"maybe my metaphors are beautiful delusions but nothing more."
I loved the flow of this line, as well as the meaning behind it. This poem is so beautiful and bitter sweet. I wish I had written it!
And my favorite line was the last.
"Perhaps clouds are not fluffy white, but grey."
Ah, such poetic-ness! You are gifted, my friend. I think, to put more emphasis on the last words, you could make "but grey" its own line.
This is beautiful, beautiful work. Amazing.
Keep writing!

~GC

I like this poem! Your word choice is great, and the lines flow pretty well. I encourage you to write more, and possibly start a short story. I really like the style. Well keep up the good work! Also, Don't hesitate to emails works for editing, I find that really helpful. As always, good luck to you and your writing!

What did you think clouds were before? I liked the poem. I don't like how it sounds aloud when I read it, but it could be totally different when you read it. I don't read much poetry.

Hello,
Just read your poem, the very idea of clouds added liveliness to your poem.
So did the linkage of young age to the ambition of flying.
However, things turned around in the third part.
You have repetitively used few words, i.e. But and Perhps an dthe key word metaphor.
With such a diversity of words and a short poem, the repitition does not go well.
Then you also seem not following a set pattern of rhyme.
In first stenza the second and third line rhymed while in last, the first and fourth rhymed.
Either make it go without rhyme, but if you do it, follow one set of rhyme.
The idea behind and words coming out are really amusing, little more effort or a smart review on your end can hep alot,
Hope the review helps you,
Best of luck

1