It all started in the English class room,
your desk in front of mine.
In front of mine.
Then you turned to look at me,
your smile so shy.
So shy.
We’d laugh at Shakespeare,
bitchin’ ‘bout King Lear.
King Lear.
When we were lectured on rhyme schemes,
I daydreamed
about you.
About you.
Oh, oh, oh,
in my head you were Romeo
and I your Juliet,
conveniently,
I forgot the death scene
so we ran free.
Flowers, chocolates, PDA’s,
a million other cliché’s.
Then I’d wake to find your chair turned around,
throwing paper at me.
Paper at me,
humour in your eyes.
In your eyes.
We’d watch the slow clock,
counting each tick tock.
Tick tock.
When we were lectured on rhyme schemes,
I daydreamed
about you.
About you.
Oh, oh, oh,
in my head you were Romeo
And I your Juliet,
conveniently,
I forgot the death scene
so we ran free.
Flowers, chocolates, PDA’s,
a million other cliché’s.
A year has passed of scribbled games and notes,
from your pen straight to mine.
Straight to mine.
Jokes inked forever.
Forever.
Three hours a week,
time with you- a treat.
A treat.
When we were lectured on rhyme schemes,
I daydreamed
about you.
About you.
Oh, oh, oh,
in my head you were Romeo
And I your Juliet,
conveniently,
I forgot the death scene
so we ran free.
Flowers, chocolates, PDA’s,
a million other cliché’s.
Now school is out, GCSE’s finished,
and I see you with her.
You with her.
I hear that she’s a model,
can’t compete with that.
With that.
We flirted all year,
I thought love drew near.
Drew near.
Oh, what waste,
what a waste,
when I could’ve got an A.
What a waste,
when you belong to someone else anyway.
I wish I’d got an A.
When we were lectured on rhyme schemes,
I daydreamed
about you.
About you.
Oh, oh, oh,
in my head you were Romeo
and I your Juliet,
Conveniently,
I forgot the death scene
so we ran free.
Flowers, chocolates, PDA’s,
a million other cliché’s.
You copy cat!!!!!! My friend has written a song on here and you copied off of it... NOT COOL!!!!!! Don't ever ask to be my friend.
No I haven't! Who is this friend? Maybe she copied off me because I have never stolen anybodies work. Ever. What is the name of her song? I want to see it. Don't go accusing people and assuming stuff in future, THAT is whats not cool. :/
I believe she meant my song, they are rather similar. Though I couldn't have copied you mine being posted first. I think that this whole ting could be dropped, no?
Also yours is better than mine
Hi, Anna!
I really liked this piece! I loved all the Shakespeare references, and I think there could potentially be more. I imagine you were inspired by this because you read a play in English class -- possibly King Lear? o:
Anyway, it read very much like a song. So it flowed smoothly! I enjoyed reading it, and like I said, it was all connected. There were a couple quirks I stumbled over. They could just be me, but I thought it worth pointing out just in case!
I found this weird. xD In the middle of English class? I've certainly had chairs turned around in a circle for discussion (Yes, even in AP English my senior year!) so I went with that, but the paper-throwing didn't compute. Surely the teacher would see that. xD I didn't get it. The humor in his eyes afterward made it seem like he was sneaky about it.
This part felt forced to me! Especially the treat line(s). I'd probably rethink the structure on this one. Or content. xD Whichever works better!
It would be cool to maybe see another Shakespeare reference here. A reference to a different play perhaps involving a missed chance at love or a tragedy of sorts. Would be cool, anyway!
I didn't get the A part in this. I never got the impression she failed anything in the first place, unless she failed the opportunity for a relationship, I guess. I've no idea. xD This one's probably the weakest verse you have.
I liked this song a lot, though. And like I said, the extra Shakespeare reference made this more original than the other Romeo and Juliet songs. Well done! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Keep writing!
Jabber, the One and Only!
This was really good. I like how it talked about a story, and how things start swell but then end like crap. To be honest, things like this happen all the time to us humans in real life. Hopefully, this sin't real.If It's what your feeling, then I hope you feel better and I hope you move on.
to review, there wasn't much to say was bad. I liked how you kept the flow going. In the bridge you spat out your feelings and I liked that. Great job, overall.
~Katie
Good song! I'd like to hear the tune! I compose myself, and write poetry/songs, but they never seem to fit together. Just judging from the tune I had in my head while reading your poem, I think your's fits together wonderfully! I think its a song at least some teens could relate to, maybe more. I don't like the repeatative (I think that's a miss-spell) lines, but they fit with a teeny-bopper kind of song. Great job!
Sincerly,
~~Heidi~~