An Exception

Hey there! joallover here for a review on this wonderful Review Day for team Mazarine Marauders!
This was a nicely written poem, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Usually, I can't read this format correctly, it always confuses me, but I had no trouble reading this one. The phrases were not confusing, the wording was simple, yet every word helped get the point across.
I love the obvious relation to your personal life, and I especially love this verse.

" You were never my muse when we were in

‘love’. I did not write the thrill of first kiss.

Now my pen thinks only your name. Our sins.

The paper forces me to reminisce-"

It is my favourite verse in the whole poem, but my second has to be this one.

" “You are my exception” but it wasn’t true.

The fallen won’t always need your kiss

And when we stand again we’ll shout

Fuck you."

They are an amazing conclusion and introduction, especially in this context.

Good job with this, keep writing, okay? You're good
Peace Love and Fahrvergnugen!
-joallover

You are certainly a lover scorned, truly beautiful. Only pure emotion can relate itself this way. So much of the angsty poems on the site just bore and irritate me, simply because they are being written by young, inexperienced minds in many cases. In your case the honesty of your emotion is pleasing, that poem literally made me grin.

Once again your structure is excellent as well. Great sentence breaks way to build the anticipation. Almost the polar opposite in terms of the emotional ride by comparison to Tall Tale, with the punctuated finality scripted at the very end. Still loved it.

I am thrilled to have found a writer I enjoy so much on the site already, unfortunately for you it means most of my reviews will be nothing but head-swelling praise. Thanks so much for the great poem!

Okay, I can relate to this so much. My first boyfriend, I dated for way too long before realizing he wasn't good for me. Looking back, I realized he was never inspiring, never made me feel wonderful affections, nothing. I just got lucky and left before he could break my heart. So, I think that you conveyed and captured these feelings perfectly. I was relating to you with every word, and I love it for that.

I feel like, technically, it can be neatened up a little. The words are perfect for most of it, though you could strengthen it up a little with word choice and perhaps by adding a bit more depth to the images and metaphors. More so, I think you should play around with formatting a bit. The flow's just a bit eh. I like that the formatting is very different, and not focused on meeting conventions, but I feel like it could be executed a bit better. I think you're putting a bit too much emphasis on creating slant rhyme and having the lines look near to the same size. Rather thatn doing that, you have potential for line breaks in this poem to really bring out the tension and frustration. I'll give a few examples, which are entirely jst my own thoughts. I'm not trying to change your poem, just giving some ideas.

"You were never my muse when we
were in ‘love’;
I did not write the thrill of first kiss."

The "we" being at the end of the line leaves this anxious waiting to find out "we...what?" It also draws emphasis to the 'love'. I added a semi-colon there because I think that that would be a better form of punctuation there than a period.

"I’m sick of being the broken hearted-

that exclusive club for the

optimists proven wrong."

I think that for this one, formatting like this and removing the "the" would clear up some confusion. It was not clear to me what you were saying the first few times I read it.

Otherwise, I really love this. It hits home, and you put so much personality and spunk into it. Great job! If my suggestions on formatting were helpful and you need any more, I'd be happy to help