Kissing.
It just happened.
I didn’t mean it to.
You told me you liked me
then my lips were on you.
Kissing.
Wish I could press rewind.
Shouldn’t lead you on.
Just a bit of fun,
I didn’t mean to stay so long.
Kissing.
Until my lips taste of guilt
and our friendship is screwed.
Then I just walk away
leaving you hurt and confused.
Kissing.
Because I’m thinking of the moment
and not of your heart.
You want us to be together
but I’m happy apart.
Kissing.
I knew the talk of spaghetti,
and the strawberry laces we ate,
and mentioning Lady and the Tramp’s Cliché
would be a mistake.
Kissing.
Because I feel like shit
and because you want me
even when nobody else does.
I truly am sorry.
Kissing.
Still kissing.
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139,494 Literary Works • 672,583 Reviews
Hey there! joallover here for a review on this wonderful Review Day for team Mazarine Marauders!
What you've written is actually very catchy. It has the rhythm and a message. Very nice!
I love taking old thoughts and putting it into poems
The first half was the best part, the last half could use some work.
"Kissing.
Until my lips taste of guilt
and our friendship is screwed.
Then I just walk away
leaving you hurt and confused." and
"Kissing.
Because I’m thinking of the moment
and not of your heart.
You want us to be together
but I’m happy apart."
These are the best verses in this piece. Below the last one noted, things start to go downhill.
"Kissing.
I knew the talk of spaghetti,
and the strawberry laces we ate,
and mentioning Lady and the Tramp’s Cliché
would be a mistake."
This verse is very weak. It doesn't really contribute to the poem nicely and I, as a reader, don't see much point in it. It appears to be filler to me.
That's all I will say today, think about the things I noted though. I always give honest feedback, so I mean it when I say I did enjoy this poem. Good job
Peace Love and Fahrvergnugen!
-joallover