I walk under sorrow's gates,
Because I like to observe
The blue reliefs on the arches,
And the golden tearstones
That rain from the sky above,
Upon the shaking ground.
To rub my hand against
Calloused and rough walls,
And observe as pinpricks
Stab at my hands,
Watching as I stain them
A shade of black.
To open my mouth and watch
As heavy drops fall within,
Leaving a bitter taste
While they slide downwards
And fill me with a dread
That makes it ever harder
For me to move at all.
And here comes the janitor
To pour some bleach on the walls,
Poke me with the butt of his broom,
And tell me that I've been here
For long enough;
The gates are closing for today,
But they'll be open again tomorrow,
As good as ever.
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140,667 Literary Works • 673,586 Reviews
Hello TheSilverFox!
It's me, ILoveBooks! And today I will be reviewing your wonderful poem! It been a while since I have review a poem. So here I am to review yours. Because this really caught my attention.
Happy Review Day!
Anyway your poem was simply great. Your poem is beautiful. I should check your other poems to see another great work of yours. Your poem simply shows great emotions that give readers a place to exoress what they feel about. It's great. I give you that *claps*
It inspire actually. Actually I feel I was involve in your poem.
This is a review but I couldn't find a mistake about your poem. No errors,no wrong punctuation marks, no wrong things on Title. Nothing at all. So I couldn't find a way to express one thing. Except the fact it fascinated me.
Your choice of words fascinate me also. I mean you have a deep perspective about these kind of thing. And it was hard to understand some of it because it was deep. But I manage to get what you are trying to say here.
So that's all I guess. Well done again. I hope you continue more of this! And maybe I can read your other works.
Happy Review Day again!
-ILoveBooks
Hello Silver Fox!!
It's like you create the poetry I wish I could grasp.
Firstly, I've been meaning to review your works for quite a while now. I've finally found a break from school, so here we go!
I've noticed all of your poetry follows a theme of beautiful imagery, brilliant diction, and undercurrent meanings. It's like the reader can find a thousand different meanings with a handful of lines, and I absolutely adore it
Anyhow, I know this is a review, but I'm finding it very hard to find anything wrong with the piece. No spelling errors, grammar problems, punctuation mishaps, and wild stanzas... I always feel guilty writing a review when I can't find anything to help the writer with.
I will admit that, at first, the story behind the poem and the meaning of it can be a bit abstract and hard to interpret, but it doesn't take long to get over the feeling. I, personally, had to reread it a few times to fully understand all of your imagery and the place you were describing. It really is beautiful!
(I think my favorite stanza is either the first or third... you really use descriptions that pull people in 0_0 it's amazing)
Happy writing!!
Sorry I can't provide any helpful criticism... ):
Hey TheSilverFox!
I have to admit, your poem was a very odd and perplexing read but it was rather interesting to a great extent!
You certainly have an interesting way with words, which can only be described as complex and creative as there was a lot of elements to your poem that were almost deep and intriguing, yet mysterious to a certain extent as well.
You are certainly a fascinating writer!
MissLyricz x
Thanks for your review!
I have a particular fascination with poetry that communicates a lot of figurative language, and so the sense of mystery in this poem, as well as my choice and arrangement of words, is due to the fact that what takes place in this poem is much more based on emotions and the mind than how it is rooted in reality. For instance, in this poem, I use a lot of imagery that I associate with sadness, dread, depression, and similar emotions, and all set it under a backdrop based on the thoughts that I had at the time and what I was studying in school (ancient Sumerian, Assyrian, and Bablyonian art and architecture).
I'm happy that you liked and enjoyed the poem, and I, once again, thank you for your review!
No problem!
I find that really interesting, thanks for the explanation, it really helped me to understand your poem more and to understand you a bit better too.