I think she wants to fly
with the birds again,
but is she really that crazy?
says the boy with the red cap
sprouting flowers of its own.
The banister is inviting
nobody save for the sole person
whose heart is beating
I think I can, I think I can.
Can she?
Won't she
leap off of the building
of faxing machines shooting out
poorly drawn sketches
of old women in blue fields
picking daisies from the sky
and sowing them into the ground?
Past floors of mannequins, headless
after stapler fire executed
the cat posters on the wall
and hurt poor Mr. Johnson,
the janitor mopping ego puddles
from of off the earth
long ago soaked through
with spite?
Cubicle grays smeared with
Shrouds of Turin who had caressed
bloodstained faces paraded to
the deadliness of meetings
while bound, gagged, teargassed,
and of general dismay against
the idiots tossing thumbtacks
onto the seats of innocents?
She can't,
and my lip is still bleeding
from the fall.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
I feel like you could say this is her keeping her spirit alive. As you can often see old ladies sewing flowers into quilts and sighing, you could make the insight that those old ladies only look at the banister, while she still has it within her to try. Even if the result can only be the fall.
Good job! Lots of love from everyone for this piece. :3
Haiii!!!
All I can say is "W.O.W!". I absolutely loved the whole piece. It was so deep and you really showed what emotion you really want to show. While I was reading your poem, I was like "Wait, what was it again?", "Oh, I need to read it again." etc. It made my mind bleed (lol). So poetic enough for the poet like you
I was so lucky enough to read your piece and I hope more people would love to read your piece.
That's all! Hoping to read more of your works!
Happy writings, fellow writer! May the Force of writing be with you!
Hi!!
I absolutely loved the description in this piece! The punctuation kind of threw me off in some of the stanzas, but other than that, I really enjoyed this poem. Is the last stanza supposed to insinuate that the MC has already taken this plunge and his love has yet to do so?
Thanks for the great read,
Tiffany
TheSilverFox,
This is amazing! The part where you mention the beating of her heart and the fact that she actually 'can't' stuck with me throughout this piece. I also liked when you used descriptive words, especially this one:
That line, specifically, etched an image and situation in my mind. Overall this is a very good piece, and i hope to see you write more. Rock on!!!!!
With love,
SpencerReidIsMyLife