The Mark of Music

This poem is very meaningful. I love how you include everyone in this poem, and how you tell people music is free and anyone can make it.

I've never read any of your poems, have I? No, I don't think so. Well, we're off to a good start, then. Because I loved your ending!

Anything you have the imagination to make,
The words are there for you to take.

Music is powerful and wild,
Yet can also be calming and mild.

That was actually really cute. I play guitar so this had my eyes glued to the screen for awhile. The rhyming could've been a little neater, but it did seem natural. I give you tons of credit for that. In my personal opinion, I would've divided the poem into a couple of stanzas. This would've accented the poem, and made it look longer. There was something else I noticed, the words that had no rhyming, and really stand out. But this also gives a break too. Your poem rocks, and I can't explain any of the mistakes. It feels like they're there, to be there. It's weird, but AWESOME! Your poem is natural, and very vibrant with your feelings. Tbh, I felt like I was playing my guitar in a vast field when reading this poem. It was a very honest, and true poem. Anyways, I'm rambling now.

There are two things I like to review with a writer after reading their poem. The first is feelings, and wording. These are both major when it comes to writing poems. First things first. 1) Feelings: Like I mentioned earlier you had this right on key. Everything seemed tuned. (get it, music, tuned. I crack myself up sometimes) 2) Wording: The wording was a little out of place, but in a natural way, if that makes any sense... It seemed like it wasn't either.

I'll finish this off now. Everything rocked, you rocked! (not meant to be in past tense either...) This may have been really, really short. But after reviewing everything, this work seems like a piece of art. I'm weird I know. This was the bomb, and I hope you write more like it. I wish you good luck, and may you find a four-leaf clover today (or tonight depending on your time zone). Have an awesome day! BYE!

~Laelle

Hey there Kat again for another review for Team WHY?

I just love music so I had to read this, I play flute. Again with a rhyme scheme :3 might help. Something else I noticed , your flow becomes choppy . Try adding or taking away words or even counting syllables or saying it out loud to find out what sounds most pleasing . Always take time with your writing, experience what it feels like to really indulge in the plethora of word choices and literary devices. Similes, metaphors, chiasmus (okay that's not spelled right ), hyperbole, syncope, maybe even make up words! I don't know poetry is just crazy fun. Maybe even try not rhyming ? Just some general advice. Aside from that, it was a really cute poem . I loved how you used words like trance and mild to add some variety. Talking about the sea seemed a little random .You are really a brilliant budding artist and I hope you continue to grow and write such expressive poems

~Kat

Hey, TheSilentBagpipe,
I am here again! Your poem caught my sight again and I wanted to read it immediately! Ha ha ha.
It is true that music does give a lot of things to us and whenever we hear it it leaves us with something special in our hearts. It is something so magical and difficult explain, and somehow we never do run out of things to sing about. It unites us as humans i believe and we are never right without it! Ha ha ha.

I really liked how it sounds, although maybe you could improve it very little?
Perhaps substitute this line with something more striking?
"Upon the dark, it leaves light. Upon the blind, it leaves sight."
Maybe you could say it like this?
"Upon hopelessness night, it blesses us with light. Upon blindness' might it gifts us the magic of sight."
I really find music has this effect on me sometimes, when I am sad. ^_^
As for the grammar and spelling, it is great and nothing is wrong with it. Ha ha ha.
And maybe you could make it longer and describe it some more! ^_^

So, well... I hope you liked my review and I think your poem was lovely. It had made me smile again! These are merely suggestions and I hope you improve because of it!
Continue writing more poems and stay inspired! And remember to always amuse your magical Muse! Ha ha ha.
Till next time, lots of luck to you!
Take care!

Wow! The one word I want to leave you with is wow! I love this poem! Personally I love music and all the stuff that comes with it. Sometimes, I need music to relax. Other times I need music to pump me up. And other times I simply need music becuas I enjoy it. Music is something that can bring people together, and create a lot of new opportunities. I think that because of all the wonderful things music brings this is a great topic to talk about!

I love the rhythm. Just like a song, a poem needs to have a good beat and rhythm. You looked that! It was absolutely amazing! It really adds to the piece and in some sort of way points back to the whole idea of what music is.

I also love the rhyming. I think that in poems nowadays it's getting to the point of a depressing and sad poems, that don't really rhyme. I love the way you made this poem rhyme and keep a good rhythm. It brings an authentic and great side of poetry that I think we're missing. So yeah, you did an amazing job at that!

I think that the idea is also a great part of this poem. This is a ray of sunshine in a poem world of darkness. You brought a nvr happy poem into a world of sad oneself. I'm not saying thy sad poems are bad, sometimes it just get really sad. So yeah. Thank you for the great ray of sunshine.

So, yeah obivously I loved your poem. I think that you have a lot of potential! Keep up the great work and awesome job on this particular poem. This is one of my favorite.

Keep writing bro.

~#41

Hello TheSilentBagpipe,
Myjaspercat here for a review...

1.) "Music leaves upon everything a mark. "
---Alright, now your title of the poem is 'The Mark Of Music' so instead of pretty much starting it off that way, leave it to the end so your reader has something to look forward to. Also it leaves something for your poem to build up to.

2.) "From the beat of the drum,
To the guitar that you strum.
From the piano that you play,
To the songs that you say. "
---It may be just me but I think you could write this better. This is to mundane. You can still say the same thing by using more descriptive words so do it. Maybe describe what the beat of this drum feels like or how the keys of the piano feel like under your fingers.

3.) "Music marks you in every way."
---Ok, so like I said earlier, leaves this to the end so your poem has a thing to build up to. As well, If you need to say this in your poem, then describe it (kind of like what I said in #2)

4.) "Music can be anything you want it to be,
You can sing a song about the sea.
Anything you have the imagination to make,"
---Ok, so my one concern with these few lines is that you used the word 'anything' twice. Now that might not be so bad, but here it just sounds to clunky and it drags down the rest of the flow for your poem.

Ok, so enough with the line-by-line. My first impression on this was that it sounds rather cliché. I have written many poems about music myself and I have read numerous poems about music so yeah, it's ok to write poems about music; but careful how you write it. For one, you pretty much told your reader everything about music and how it made you feel. Though this can work in minor parts but as a whole, you need to really draw your reader in. Showing vs. Telling is really big in poetry (or so I've found). Instead of telling your reader that Music marks you in every way, show your reader how music marks you. What do you feel when you listen to music? What are your thoughts while you listen to music? Especially in poetry, I want to know a lot about the narrator.

My second point is that I felt you tried to rhyme your poem to much. I get that rhyming is fine, but here it was just too much. It really dragged down your flow and it just made it really choppy.

Anyways, that's all I have to say. Good luck and continue writing. If you have any questions feel free to ask.----Myjaspercat