EVERYONE NEEDS A TRUE FRIEND
When they are feeling broken,
A true friend will fix the pieces and help them mend.
When they are feeling frozen,
A true friend will help them put the cold to an end.
When they are feeling without hope,
Its a true friend who picks them from the ground and holds them firm with a rope.
When they are feeling full of anger,
Its a true friend who keeps them out of danger.
When they have fallen and hit themselves hard,
A true friend will wait until they are ready to come back up, standing guard.
When they feel as if they are ready,
A true friend will take their hand and hold them steady.
When they are ready to take flight,
A true friend will keep them forever in their sight.
And when they land back on the ground,
A true friend is the one who stuck around.
So no matter where you go, or what you do.
Remember to look around, your true friend is the one watching over you.
Don't shun that person, or make her fall,
Cause in the end, true friends are what save us all.
~Selina
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,829 Reviews
Hello!
This is a wonderful poem.
I especially liked the first 4 lines because the rhythm and rhyme was consistent and beautiful.
On the 5th line, instead of saying "When they are feeling without hope", I would change it to say "When they are feeling hopeless" to keep the syllable count.
On the 6th line, it should be "It's" (It is) instead of "Its".
Okay, I'm just writing this as I read and I just noticed you changed up the rhyme scheme from the 5th line down. If you're going to to do the scheme aabbccdd instead, I suggest you change the first four lines of the first stanza as well. (The first stanza is currently ababccdd.)
Also, every other line except the last stanza and the last few in the first stanza starts with "A true friend will..." Consistency is a good thing, especially in poetry. If it's possible, keep your poem as consistent as possible. This includes syllables, word choice, and rhyme.
Also, in the 6th line, it sounds like abuse. Holding them form with a rope? Yeah, I don't know about that.
/casually skips most of the poem
Okay the last line.
I suggest changing it to: "'Cause in the end, true friends save us all."
That way, it's 9 syllables. In case you haven't noticed, the second to last line is 9 syllables as well.
I hope this review helped.
Keep up the good work!
Ƥєтєя Ƥαη
Thank you so much for your review! I will try to change the stuf when I can =)
Hi TheSilentBagpipe,
First of all, love your username
And secondly, I love your poem even more! This is such a heartfelt and adorable piece, your friend really is very lucky, and it sounds like you are too!
Keep writing lovely poetry,
-theb00kthi3f
Thank you Theb00kthi3f!! I decided my username should be changed for a bit xD
Hi dear
The poem is awesome. It made me realize my speciality in my friend's life and vice-versa. I enjoyed the concept of using simple language with realistic thoughts. Full of positivity and calmness.
Mesmerizing poem
Thank you so much tanny070395! Your review was inspiring, made me realize that lots of people need to be reminded of their best friends <3 =)
Hello TheSilentBagpipe,
First of all, I really loved your poem and it really made me think about my own friends.
The friends that I have lost and new friends which I have gained and how they really helped me go through with my life. Friends are excruciatingly crucial in your life and your poem's message is very true, friends are really there for you. If you hold them dear to you, they will forever stay with you. Ha ha ha.
There were no grammar and spelling errors which I detected and you wrote it really nicely and clear.
The rhyming is clear and you can boast of it without fear, ha ha ha.
So, in conclusion I really enjoyed it and it made me think to find even greater friends and be the best one in return.
Keep writing some more and best of luck to you!
Thank you so much for your review Jaypolarbear! You made me chuckle xD Your rhyming is really well done, but I have to run =P
Thanks one again!
~Selina
Thank you so much for your review Jaypolarbear! You made me chuckle xD Your rhyming is really well done, but I have to run =P
Thanks one again!
~Selina
You're welcome!
Real quaint. I have some personal thoughts about this work, but I will keep these (for they are of my personal experience) until the end. I agree with 'Darklord' on saying that the repetition of a 'true friend' shows what a true friend does. I like the rugged visuals you portrayed in this poem, and it really gets your point across that 'true friends are what saves us all.'
The qualms I have with it are: I'm not quite sure that ALL true friends do is be there for you in the dark tide (unless you had just gone through a hard moment with your true friend and decided to show your appreciation of her through this writ); for they are there for the good as they are for the bad. I do not remember as much positive as you placed negative in this writing.
Overall, I appreciate this, for despite my personal adaptation of your poem, it does not change what soul you put in it. Thank you for this, and I am sure your friend really is True
Thank you so much faunafaun! My friend is really something special. This was written with her in mind, but is for all true friends <3
I agree with you, but yes this was after a hard moment..sorry for all the negativity :S
Ah, no prob. As I was writing out that part, the thought did occur to me that it might have been during a rough time. I hope things are better
That's alright, I am glad to explain, just in case other people didn't see it =)
Things are looking up. =)
This poem has a very good rhyme scheme, and it is also focused on one of the greatest prompts to write about, friendship. The repetition on a True friend also really emphasized what a true friend does. I personally really liked this poem! Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much DarkLord! I appreciate your review and thank you for your positive attitude!
This poem has a very good rhyme scheme, and it is also focused on one of the greatest prompts to write about, friendship. The repetition on a True friend also really emphasized what a true friend does. I personally really liked this poem! Keep up the good work!
this is really really good. I just wrote this to get points..but seriously really ggod.
Thank you so much wannabeawriter!