A Horse's Love
My horse is always ready by my side,
Whenever I need to run away and hide.
She carries me away at full ride,
She carries me away to a new tide.
The wind blows through my hair,
As I ride through the land so bare.
Tears stream down my face,
And I let her have her head, and she runs at a fast pace.
The wind is all around whispering to me in a soothing tone,
Telling me as long as I have my horse I will never feel alone.
My horse may not speak like me but I understand her,
My horse may not give me advice, but she lets me bury my troubles in her fur.
When I am with my mare,
She gives me the courage to do what I dare.
The wind whips at me,
I smile feeling wild and free.
Into a new world I ride,
Leaving behind the people who lied.
Leaving behind the people who rolled their eyes and sighed.
I leave behind my troubled past,
I take with me my horse, my mast.
My horse is always there beside me,
Always ready when I need to be set free.
She sets me free from this world so unfair,
A friend like mine is ever so rare.
~Selina
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,829 Reviews
Kat here to review for Team WHY?
that's what I would do (sorry I'm weird) .
Okay so little things, your rhyme scheme wasn't constant and that bothered me and interrupted your flow quite a lot. Try breaking it up and keeping a constant rythm whatever that may be. Try changing up your word choice too.
Wanted to get that out of the way so I could say I truly loved this poem. Horses are wonderful creatures, animals in general ! I have the most amazing cat and he always knows whats up. You really are lucky to have such a great friend . You should read her the poem
I liked the use of repetition and similar sentence structures and you don't have to capitalize the beginning of every line haha but that was just an FYI in case you didn't know (it's fine).
~Kat
Yeah I should =) Thank you soo much for the review!!
So, this poem one other peons I think that everyone should read! While its upbeat and has awesome rhymes, it, to me, portrays a deeper meaning. This poem is a perfect nix between happy and realistic! I love it!
.
Horses are amazing animals! They are so strong and yet so majestic. They can help out a rancher get his flock in line, or be used for leaisurley use. I am surrounded by bourses where I love and I can here them about every night. Part of me loves to see them run, be ussr they look so free. Other parts of me love when they stand still so you can see how gentle they can be. Like I said earlier, horses are amazing!
Because horses are so awesome I'm stoked at the way you went at this poem. It's a wonderful flowy piece that is intimate, yet somewhat broad. I'm really weird when it comes to wording so sorry if that made no sense. What I mean by that is that this story can relate to a lot of people. Everyone has a 'horse'. You know, something that makes them feel free, almost an escape from this world we live in. My "horse" is basketball. But that's a different story. But because you talked about what made you feel free, this gives the poem a personal flare that really makes the poem pop.
You use amazing detail and your formatting and rhyming or exceptional! I loves your poem and all the little meanings hidden within it. Whether you meant then to be there or not, that was just my outlook on the poem
Keep writing bro.
~#41
Thank you so much Bball41, I loved your review. It made me smile. Horses are beautiful, and everything you described I loved about them as well. I loved how you saw the deeper meaning in the poem, yes it was kinda what I meant it to be. I wanted it to be deeper, but sadly I didn't think anyone notice it. Except you =) Your perspective was nice to here about, thank you <3
Hey, Selina. I have to say, AMAZING. I mean, really and truly amazing. It is really, really good. You should keep writing, and keep going at it. You are truly gifted, my friend. But I do have a couple of things to say.
1)In the sentence,"I leave behind my troubled past, I take with me my horse, my mast."
I don't really understand how mast, a thing on a ship, can compare to a horse. can you explain?
2)I loved this and wish you would keep posting and keep up the good writing. You are really, really gifted. I hope you keep writing, and keep posting these amazing poems. I will keep an eye out.
In conclusion, that is the ONLY thing that I see wrong with this piece, and I'm sure if you explained to me it would make more sense, and this would be a perfect piece of writing. I look forward to your future exploits.
Sincerely,
Ryu(Southbound)Cevenost.
Thank you Ryu! I shall explain for you =) - A mast on a ship is what keeps the ship erected and stable right? Same goes for Fancy my brother in laws horse, she keeps me straight and stable =)
Thank you Ryu! I shall explain for you =) - A mast on a ship is what keeps the ship erected and stable right? Same goes for Fancy my brother in laws horse, she keeps me straight and stable =)
Sorry about repetive messages was on auto save
Sorry about repetive messages was on auto save
Sorry about repetive messages was on auto save
All good xD
Hey selina it is a very lovely rythmic poem really liked your poem will be looking fotward for your works keep writing
Thank you jamesclark!
Thank you jamesclark!
Hey selina it is a very lovely rythmic poem really liked your poem will be looking fotward for your works keep writing
Hey selina it is a very lovely rythmic poem really liked your poem will be looking fotward for your works keep writing