I sit and stare at the blank space,
Inside my mind seems to race.
No ideas come to mind,
I start to fall behind.
Keep up, you have to write.
Those voices I hear might be right.
I just don't have an idea,
My writing life seems to be saying "Seeya"
Balling my fist, I take up my pencil
It shall be my working utensil.
Randomly I write a few words,
Then my mind seems to wander, as I listen to the birds.
Your behind, someone points out
I facepalm myself and want to shout.
I HAVE NO IDEAS TO WRITE ABOUT.
Sitting at my desk, my face buried in my hands,
Thinking of what it would be like, being in a band.
Having to come up with so many songs to sing,
Something not to slow that has a nice ring.
I suddenly feel more respect for those writers,
And think of them as vocal fighters.
Quick as it went, an idea comes to me,
I grin and begin to write about being free.
Free from the constant noise of everyday life, in my mind sounding like gunfire,
I write about being able to fly higher.
Higher than the noise and strife,
And into my imaginary, made-up life.
I sit and stare at a ink-filled space,
My mind finally quitting its race.
I review my work with an excited eye,
Then tuck it in with the others like it, saying goodbye.
Goodbye to my writing, until next time.
When I need an escape.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,829 Reviews
In the sentence 'Your behind, someone points out', it should be 'YOU'RE behind'. 'Your' is a possessive noun, like your stuff or your book. 'You're' is the contraction of YOU ARE. Lots of people make this mistake, don't worry.
And in the first line of the last stanza, it should be '' I sit and stare at AN ink filled space.''
Otherwise, this poem is really nice.
Thank you so much! <3
Hey Kat here to write a review for you !
So just a few things I caught there might be more it is rather late here ... Tired and all ...
You should be you're for you are not your as in your car ( think your car , not you are=you're car ) just in case it wasn't a typo
A before ink should be an . If it comes before a vowel it's an . That's an elephant . That's a tiger .
Watch some syllable counting for maintaining a nice steady flow so it doesn't get distracting . Avoid using to many words " then tuck it in with the others like it " could be : then tuck it it with others like it , then tuck it with the others , etc . Every little word counts in a poem .
Now , I did really enjoy this poem . It's very cute very expressive and SO TRUE . Try showing more and telling less for even greater effect . I especially liked the part about the band and the chirping birds , such things put great images in the minds of your readers . Nice length too!
How'd I manage to say elephant and tiger and car in a review on a poem which included none of those XD
Keep at it !
~Kat
LOL thank you so much for your review!!
Hahaha! I like the poem, your grammar isn't perfect but it's humorous! Keep it up!
Thank you so much for your comment =)